Trip Report: 1g of Golden Teachers Psilocybin Magic Mushrooms

[ZenSwift]

So I wrote this trip report as I experienced it. I also cut out sentences that I deemed were just pointless babble.

>But text like this with the ">" behind it is my commentary on it after the fact. 

This trip was not taken very seriously, really it was me testing the difference between the strains of Golden Teacher and Penis Envy, so the added intention of ridding a negative belief was me putting at least some of the trip to good use. Hope it gives you a couple laughs!

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Mushroom Trip Report 003

November 29th 2020

Soaked dat lemon tek for 20 mins

Taken at 2:54pm

There's probably a lot resistance and fear on this trip because last trip I had an ego death. But this one should be more positive.

>Not sure if I actually experienced a full ego death, like a loss of sense of self, but I totally had my fear wiped away for a brief amount of time.

Waiting for the floor to start moving lol

Kinda late but whatever. 

Intention: Get to the bottom of my limiting belief: "I can't focus"

13 min in

Feeling brain activation. 

18 min

Noticing small amounts of movement in the floor that is definitely the signature shroom movement.

21 min

Noticing the pigment in the hands. Not nearly as much as on other trips.

24 min

I'm pretty sure my learning ability just increased. Because learning is just creativity.

26 min

Feeling Sensitive. Like if I were to be scared I would die right now.

30 min

Getting pretty high.

Really feel the emotional take over now.

It's okay, it was always okay. Emotions heightened.

 

35min

The human hand is really weird. Very alien and foreign. But that's okay because I am that. Feeling of slight nausea. That's mushroom nausea feeling right now. Floor is moving.

Reality gets freaky, but I am the freaky. Reality is a great mystery that I must show myself for I am it. 

The biggest lesson that I have to always tell myself is to surrender and not take myself so seriously. I get way too much anxiety that is created from me trying to be some intense motherfucker when really, it's okay I can relax. I guess that's my fear: the fear of relaxation and in becoming complacent.

42 min

Basically in it. 

Kind of funny, I feel weird cuz I think I feel all of my skin. Looking at the tapestry is Wild.

The peak is yet to come.

But then I get to slide down a very fun slide. Feeling tired. It must be activating because of my yawning. I am yawning.

 

47 min

Feeling like a creature. I am now answering my questions from my busting limiting beliefs worksheet.

I didn't think the Golden Teacher strain would be THIS potent.

Yawning more. I feel so tired and fatigued. I also need to take the duct tape off the vent on the ceiling at some point. Sober me can you please do that? Thank you.

>I did it while still high.

 

51 minutes. 

My body is feeling heavy. My entire body is able to relax. There is that feeling in my chest that was like anxiety but now it's spread to the whole body and now it has transformed itself into tiredness and relaxation.

Yeah I'm pretty much knocked out on this floor. 

It is 54 minutes in and I've been lying on this floor because I'm so lazy.

It's so fucked to write on a piece of paper where all the letters are moving.

59 mins

I think we're at the Mountaintop because I am so fucking tired there's so much yawning.

>Peak incoming

1h 8 mins

Just staring at this tapestry and it's so illuminating and beautiful. Lying down on the floor. 

"Arts and crafts" while high is always funny

>Had to fold some paper to get the tapestry back up, because it fell.

1h 13 min

I just peaked

1h 18 min

Another peak

The best part is looking at something like a fractal while your vision blurs. You know you're peaking when your vision starts to blur.

I'm going to allow myself. To enjoy this. 

Here is gone. How did that happen? Because I have finally emerged

Enjoy this.

>lol

1h 56 min

High.

Yeah I do fear that I'll be seduced by the mushrooms and just become a druggie. 

Just jerked off completely naked on my bed. Which is something I don't do often at all in my life, maybe two other times. We try to hide that part of reality so much.

2h 18 min

I live in a dead world. The only things that are alive are the food that I eat. I need to trip in the middle of a forest what everything around me is alive. 

I feel like Terence McKenna when he has his glasses on. Just accept yourself.

I'm a nerd in my craft. 

2 hours and 27 minutes in

The reason why I'm scared of looking at my face in the mirror is because I fear that I will see something else, and that's seeing of something else is the death of my self-image that I hold. When really I didn't exist in the first place, and so Fear is the mechanism is that preserves the self. Anxiety is a mechanism that preserves the self. When really the self wasn't there in the first place. And then the shrooms SHOW that to you

 

ADHD people can Focus just fine. They're just saying ADHD people can't focus because of the way they think, they think differently.

>The ADHD brain is the holistic brain.

We think like a Christmas tree. That's just a different perception of reality. So instead of focusing on one thing, you focus on one thing with a Christmas tree around it.

Existing is like being in a fish tank. Trapped. Confined to this one box. 

>That was fucking weird to experience.

I am truly a curious creature.

Gods perspective is all free and all loving. 

Yeah you're trying to learn how to focus, but you got to enjoy the journey. And listen to some Bob Marley music while you're treading. Enjoy the struggle. Patience is just enjoying the moment. Enjoy that suffering. That is life. What you call suffering is just a duality that you make up in your mind. 

Reality is fucked. Whoopsie. Did I just fuck with your reality, oops that's just reality! 

To try and preserve this perfect moment is to not live in the moment. Trying to remember things, is to not live in the moment. 

Whatever I fear is my ego trying to push fear forward because if I encounter the thing I feared than the ego is destroyed. If I stare at my face while peaking on shrooms, my ego will be destroyed. 

3 hours in

Still high. Eyes very dilated. 

Trying to remember something is to not live in the present.

Experiencing short-term memory, but in a different way than THC. 

Shrooms: your ego is going to hate it, but your inner being is going to love it. It wouldn't be amazing otherwise. You need that duality to be there for it to work. 

Imagine living your life as Bob Marley where you just make music and enjoy the moment, and that is your life. That is life. Your life IS the moment.

So much for getting to bed on time.

Shrooms are silly like green toes and toejam and farts. And it'll step on your silly plans with its dirty feet. 

>Then I find myself talking to my mom again, lying on the bed staring at the ceiling and joking around. We are holding eachothers hands and such. We talk and just enjoy the moment.

>Later, dad makes an amazing plate of nachos and as a family we watch "Christmas with the Kranks" together.

5h43min

Sobering up

6h52min

Sobering up more. 

Life is like a competition of who can be the most happy.

>What I wrote in my Journal:

###START###

Limiting Belief “I can't focus”

It all started when I was a small boy diagnosed with ADHD at the same time I was diagnosed with asthma. Being several years on an ADHD medication does a toll on ya.

This negative belief came from my childhood after years of taking ADHD medication. Reinforcing a limiting belief that I cannot focus without my medication. Holding this belief protects me like a baby blanket because it protects me from taking responsibility of my life. The ADHD medication IS the baby blanket.

An alternative, equally valid interpretation of the facts is that I was already capable of this amount of focus that I desire. I was just given the medication to “behave”.

I was always capable of Focus. Right from the start. Right from the start! Just look at other people that lived be without ADHD medication. ADHD medication is only new to the last 100 years, not even that.

ADHD people before you were successful enough for you to be here today.

I was always capable of the amount of focus that I desire. I was always able to focus. That limiting belief doesn't exist.

It's okay, I love you.

###END###

One of the coolest takeaways from my journaling was this: 

I was always capable of the focus I desired, I just was never given a chance to prove it to myself because I was given medication for so many years starting at such an early age. So it is through my actions now that I am showing myself that I have the ability to cultivate the focus that I desire.

Post report:

The week following I doubled my productivity from 3 hours a day to 6 hours of focused work per day. 

[Spooney Spoonerson]

Hi ZenSwift,

After reading this and your other 2g trip on the golden teacher I've decided to have a go! Thanks for sharing your experience. I've ordered 3 grams with the intention of trying 1 gram first then waiting a few weeks before trying 2 grams. Does this sound along the right lines to you? Or should I stick to a smaller dose for now given it's my first experience with hallucinogenic substances. I weigh about 165lbs.

I'm currently working on Leo's life purpose course so I might set my intention towards discovering that. However I'm also struggling with love and acceptance of myself and others as well as a constant need to self-justify. I know you're not a councillor (but then again you might be I have no idea) but in your experience what aspect do you think the golden teacher would be best to help me in out of these three? Should I pick one to focus on or can I hold them all in my mind at once and see what takes precedence during the trip? Or are these irrelevant questions?

Once again, thanks for the insights and take care! 

[ZenSwift]

Go with the intention that is most pressing on you. Because you will be the most motivated to accept what comes, and to focus on the task.

[Ora]

whats your opinion on different varieties? 

[Bazooka Jesus]

@Spooney Spoonerson I am a lightweight of 130lbs, and for me, 1mg of Golden Teachers hardly leave a dent... anything below 1mg is microdosing in my book.

[ZenSwift]

4 hours ago, Ora said:

whats your opinion on different varieties? 

@Ora

They have slightly different personalities. A B+ will have a more positive trip, a Penis Envy will have a more violent trip, a golden teacher will have more of a serious trip, etc. 

 

4 hours ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

I am a lightweight of 130lbs, and for me, 1g of Golden Teachers hardly leave a dent... anything below 1g is microdosing in my book.

@Bazooka Jesus

Yeah it's not too much about the bodyweight but more with the brain you have. 

I'm 5ft3in and 150lb and 1g can fuck me up. I've got a highly interconnected ADHD brain already, so I'm sensitive af. Or at least that's how I make sense of it.

 

@Spooney Spoonerson

Start with 1g and go up in intervals of 0.5g. You have no idea how it would affect you.

Also another thing I should say is that I have done trips where I would do shadow work first with one intention, and then I would have another intention to gain insights on my life purpose later. It just depends on how much time you need to spend on each intention.

Edited September 1, 2021 by ZenSwift

[Spooney Spoonerson]

On 01/09/2021 at 0:11 AM, ZenSwift said:

Go with the intention that is most pressing on you. Because you will be the most motivated to accept what comes, and to focus on the task.

Thanks. Just to update, at first I was thinking of committing to being more creative but in the end I went with trying to talk to myself with more love and respect just because of some things that came up in the weeks leading up to the trip. It was fantastic btw! Then I happened across Leo's vid about self-love and it started to make a lot more sense. I'd had this weird instinct that self-love and compassion and self-respect would help me solve more problems in my life by proxy and the trip helped me see that. Tried a gram with a friend a few weeks later and the experience was fun but different. I'll be moving to higher doeses next

[ZenSwift]

@Spooney Spoonerson Keep up the good work!

Also allow yourself to eventually trip in a safe manner alone by yourself. A trip with just yourself is way more powerful.