Stress Management Tool Box

[Epiphany_Inspired]

Hey, just wondering what some of your top tools to dissolve stress include...in particular, overcoming stress-based reactions to unavoidable long-term triggers. I am looking for both surface based coping solutions, (like specific breathing techniques etch), and deeper root/resolution based methods. Please also include any insight you may have in preventing physical harm caused by the stress reaction. I have an enormous amount of gratitude that you've listened, and any suggestions you can provide are incredibly appreciated, thank you. 

[Capethaz]

@Epiphany_Inspired I think that the best method is meditation. Because with time it will make you more conscious that most of your problems are BULLSHIT.

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Capethaz @UndoTheCurse , Thank you both! This is not the first time on this forum that I've had CBT recommended (lol). I kind of dismissed the advice at first because I have already been through 2 programs at the hospital (which included it) for my brain injury. I now recognize, that I likely need an emotionally targeted version, not practical methods. I will have to research distracturns.

Funny story: when I was in those brain programs, almost a decade ago, they included meditation. It was the only activity I did not put my full attention into. I only have 10-20% of my original capacity for ideas, imagination, thought streams etc per hour, I was convinced that meditation would "rob me" of more precious thoughts....lol....very thankful for Leo's ability to convince me otherwise....

Yes, I am becoming more and more aware of how many problems are BULLSHIT, especially perceived "possible" future problems...that said, I do have long-term unavoidable triggers too. For example, even though I am separated, my daughter still has a father, and I have no control over how toxic his words can be. I am unable to cut him, as he is her family....but I can control myself, and I hope to train my body not to react with a stress response to his toxicity ...for my child's sake as well, as she will feel whatever I do...stress from this has made me really ill, I have damaged my jaw, etc...all from my internal response....If I meditate with all of this stress, it is currently escalating my reaction...I have had to avoid meditation to avoid panic, resulting in major sleep disturbance etc.... I would love to get back to meditation, but the sleep dep it causes is really unhealthy for me right now....ideas?

 

[Capethaz]

@Epiphany_Inspired Meditation. Read the book "The Mind Illuminated". The secret of dealing with fear is NOT fear the fear and panic. They are just emotions, yes we don't like them. but they can't kill you.

[SimpleTruth]

@Capethaz I like you

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@SimpleTruth  me too! @Capethaz Thank you, I will get the book! I understand that fear can't kill me, that said, the fear and sleep dep combined can lead me down a path toward insanity and ill health.... I finally experienced what it must be like for my bi-polar friends, and I see how difficult it becomes to function. If I did not have a child, I would risk insanity to continue meditation throughout this stressful time....but I need to be stable, rested, and calm...something meditation used to help me obtain...now meditation has twisted into a forum for fear....I only have two friends of a significantly higher consciousness than myself, and they both recommended that I temporarily replace meditation with more gratitude practice etc ...I have never tried Transandental, perhaps having sounds to focus on might be ok (thoughts?)...it's just with no focus, my mind is going to realms I am currently too overwhelmed to tolerate...even though I wouldn't die, it is still dangerous for me to become unstable...does the book discuss this issue?

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Capethaz, @Leo Gura I just watched "The Darkside of Meditation" video. Thank you so much Leo (I totally cried with relief)! I can clearly see the ego backlash now, exactly how it worked on me...insidiously! The "bees" insanity is exactly what happened to me, and it came with a full assault team, many of it's brother and sister derailleurs! I want to get back to my meditation practice, but stopping the bees was necessary (after three bouts of insomnia induced mania, stemming from meditation terrors).

I feel I am at a crucial crossroads, I don't want to abandon meditation/ my higher path. I also don't want to end up institutionalized or become crazy enough to have my child removed (when I couldn't sleep for days, I'd go into fear spirals like inescapable webs, every thought took a novel to explain, terrible physical illness and I'd even shake). Without meditation, and with Miss Ego-Backlash's lovely suggestion I take up sedating fiction TV again (after a year off of it), I've managed to be calm, rested and stable again. I know how people in AA feel now. How do I get back on the mediation wagon, after about 2 weeks off, in a way that ensures I am still sane and functional?

[Epiphany_Inspired]

I want to bring in some light to complete this thread! I understand that my concern was just more fear. Leo assures us the backlash is temporary, so I have no valid reason to conclude that returning to meditation would mean I'd loose my sanity. I was fine with a 10 minute session today, I can work my way back up. This thread allowed me to realize the root of that fear too, it's a fucked up story, but I'm willing to share:

In my 20's I had an absolutely lovely, totally sane boyfriend of 1.5 years. He attended an "indulgence party", it triggered schizophrenia. I didn't understand what was happening when we went on a road trip the next week, it turned into a nightmare. He  didn't pack any food, blankets, or clothing... only the demonic masks and candles that I found him using in the forest, he started to rape a 70 year old man in front of me, then was taken in by authorities. He frightened and stalked me after that, etc...

Despite being eccentric, and having bi-polar friends, I must have been harbouring an extreme fear of insanity related to the above. The extreme emotions and thoughts that can come out in this process were obviously particularly supressed so that I could feel more stable. I am still interested in advice that could help me if I encounter that type of backlash during meditation again (a massive overwhelming load of negative thoughts and images that come in a "hive" too large to handle)...Anyway, I am getting back on track with renewed courage. Thanks so much @Capethaz !