Letting Go Of Ego - Is This It?

[spicy_pickles]

So. 

Im trying to wrap my head around this ego thing and enlightenment. I'm getting glimpses of understanding it. 

I've recently let go an image that I've had of myself for a very long time. I envisioned I would be "this" and be the best at "that". Now my focus has changed. So much that people around me are somewhat surprised that I'm excited over a job that "won't challenge me". Perhaps not on the surface, but I feel as though I will be more personally satisfied by performing my work, positively influencing individus and having time to myself. 

I no longer care to achieve some image of myself, however I still struggle with letting go of other images. For example, i strive to be myself - not some false image. But am I still not "something"?  Am I not that easy going fun person to talk to?  

[ajasatya]

hello, @spicy_pickles
i can see your struggle.

there's nothing that you can grasp and say "this is me. i'm being myself" unless you're experiencing reality fully conscious, aka experiencing enlightenment.

but about being someone or something, you have to stop trying to fool yourself and be aware that you're playing a role as a human being. ego is needed unless there could be no interaction.

from my direct experience, i can recommend some practices for you to build an ego that won't cause trouble and will also increase your experience with any kind of relationship.

• become a listener. the dharma is so rare and almost everyone suffers deeply. learn about their sufferings by knowing what they have to say.
• develop a compassionate mind that is able to wish happiness for everyone around you.
• smile and look deeply into their eyes. this practice evokes sincerity.
• be gentle and stop demanding people's attention. this is a world of hungry ghosts. get out of that hole.

[spicy_pickles]

Thanks!

So far I think I'm getting your third bullet point quite well. I'm learning that I am perfectly happy being alone and not having people pay attention to me at all. It is fantastic to catch up with friends and chat with people, don't get me wrong. But I need solitude. 

I get the compassionate part, but what's the difference between being compassionate and having an open heart and not being a pushover?  For example, I sincerely feel bad for a rather vile person I know who has one main goal, and that is to make everyone miserable and jealous. However, can an ego-free person just choose not to deal with them?  Can an ego-free person walk away and NOT help someone who they feel is draining them and taking advantage of them? 

 

[ajasatya]

@spicy_pickles about helping others, you may find out that we can only help those who know that they need help. and the best help we can offer is being happy. they will be curious or even inspired by your presence.

be careful not to be cocky, though. we're better off if we have happy friends, not ill friends. your friendship circle may (very likely) change during this journey. you'll find happier and happier people as you progress on your own happiness.

[spicy_pickles]

I've actually somewhat realized that there are people that just don't want to be helped, but still expect you to be there for them. Odd.