Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Beginner Mind

Showcasing Weaknesses

9 posts in this topic

I'm thinking of joining a dating site and being upfront about my weaknesses (as a way of demonstrating authenticity).  Something like: "A little about me: I have terrible social skills and I avoid exercise like the plague."

Would women appreciate the honesty/humor of it, or would they see it as me simply putting myself down and lacking self-esteem?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They'd pass you in a heartbeat.

This can work IRL if you do it with confidence + a smile, but dating apps are a totally different atmosphere.


It's Love.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

They'd pass you in a heartbeat.

This can work IRL if you do it with confidence + a smile, but dating apps are a totally different atmosphere.

Yeah, you're probably right.  Thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You should also add: "I lack the balls to try out my own ideas without having them validated by a bunch of strangers.

I don't trust my own brain, so you can't trust me either.

I am not okay with myself in the following areas, so instead of learning to love myself I need you to do it for me: social skills, exercise"

 

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, flowboy said:

You should also add: "I lack the balls to try out my own ideas without having them validated by a bunch of strangers.

I don't trust my own brain, so you can't trust me either.

I am not okay with myself in the following areas, so instead of learning to love myself I need you to do it for me: social skills, exercise"

 

Weird thing for you to post tbh.  I don't see the harm in seeking out some opinions.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Beginner Mind perhaps my harsh approach was not a great choice. Just know that I mean no offense. I'm trying to point at something here, which, if you fix it, will get you the real results with the ladies that you are looking for.

Do you see it?

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, flowboy said:

@Beginner Mind my harsh approach doesn't work well for everyone. Just know that I mean no offense. I'm trying to point at something here, which, if you fix it, will get you the real results with the ladies.

Do you see it?

Admittedly I didn't like your approach.  But I see what you're saying.

In real life, I would easily admit my weaknesses to a woman, no problem.  But I wasn't sure if online dating is a different ballgame.  Will the humor/authenticity shine through as intended, or will she just assume I lack self-esteem?  I just don't know.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Beginner Mind  I see now that I was being unclear and unnecessarily rude. I apologize.

Let me try to explain what I meant.

Of course there is nothing wrong with getting opinions. It's just that if you're not willing to impulsively try out different things to say and fail, you won't be able to be spontaneous and free-flowing in conversation with her. And then, by the law of state transference, she will also not feel free to say whatever, and the interaction will be stifled.

The last statement is the effect it's going to have on the other when you showcase what you think of as a weakness. Your job is to love it, so you won't see it as a weakness. Fixing it can be a part of that, or not. That way she won't feel the burden of it and it's easy for her to love you too.


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0