Having fun in social situations

2 posts in this topic


I would like your suggestions on the following.

I'm 19 and I started to get into personal development when I was 15. In the journey I met lot's of people,changed my main group of friends and lived in foreign country for a year to study there. I wouldn't consider my self to be popular,but since then,I never really struggled to have friends and hang out with people. I was and I'm now more mature than people of my age, I always put self development,and now self actualization ahead entertainment, I care about my health so I'm not a crazy drinker or smoker (although maybe 1-2 a month I do); summarizing I've never been the classical teenager that does stupid stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to brag or saying that I'm better,quite the opposite. 

In fact the actual reason why I'm opening this discussion,is because I find I'm missing out on the essence of youth, since I see a sort of artistic beauty on the unconsciousness of it. In my whole life, I've never fully enjoyed social situations as I would like to. I indeed really value friendship as an ideal,but especially lately I feel like I completely lost the levity to leave away for a moment self actualization, significance and deepness from my mind and just fucking enjoy frivolous situations.

I feel like,as I more and more learn to be delighted by the present moment  in most of the circumstances,I gradually lose the ability to have fun with friends.As much as I think that changing  group of friends to another that matches your interests is a necessary and spontaneous process,I feel like that having more "noble" hobbies is not an excuse to not being able to enjoy your time in any situation,with anyone.

I realized that the problem is not the lack of connection between my and other's interests,but I have an inner issue that I'm indeed trying to contemplate.

Has anybody had the same difficulty?

What are your suggestions?

What practice can help me?


Thank you and Happy New Year

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Yeah it can be hard.

I watched a Spice Girls youtube video this morning and one of the comments on there was that "they were not creative enough" and it got me questioning creativity and situations/systems that allow for it to be easier and those that make it harder.

I could be making a crazy connection as I hadn't thought it out yet but it seems that the interactions where lots of creativity is happening - new ideas, new thoughts, new conversations, new activities, new adventures, new explorations, new memories, new de-ja-vus, etc. - those are the ones that tend to be the most stimulating.  The interactions where there's no push or desire to "create" can get dulled.  Some interactions just may have better combinations that allow for it to more easily happen than others.

So in that regard, it comes down to- are we as a pair wanting to create some freaking funny, cool, awesome, pretty, colorful stuff together?  (and not just wanting, but doing!)

Also, the notion of "create" can creatively be explored too.  :P

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