How to be wise

How to get over your negative feelings

2 posts in this topic

Whenever you feel a negative emotion, it is because of a negative thought that has arisen. The sequence: Thought creates feeling which creates action. Your feelings usually tell you how to act. 

Now, to get over a thought, you need to reverse the sequence. You may not control what you feel, but you certainly control how you act. So, you start by acting as if you are not feeling the negative emotion (even though you are). For example, if you are scared of mice, and you want to get over it, you act as if you’re not scared of mice. What actions would you take if you had no fear of mice. Now take those actions, and be persistent. If you do it long enough, your feelings of fear will disappear, and therefore your fearful thoughts will also disappear. Hence you have gotten over your fear. 


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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I had a similar thought after taking an acting class where the actor has to be able to switch from one feeling/emotion to another within a snap.

I can see though that it can be really hard to stop feeling one way by just telling oneself too.  I find that I have to do more thinking about it - whether I realize I am being ridiculous like crying loudly into a pillow and making it so my crying is loud and dramatic, I feel that the emotion is not needed and no longer authentic, I think the situation through some more, I see some other thing that gets me to draw new connections and think about it differently, I see something that is inspiring and want to be more like that instead of the negative thing I am embodying, I realize that I am just adding more negative thoughts to keep my negativity going and I am the one wanting it to continue and fueling it, etc.

Negative thoughts are quite interesting and quite impactful.  Interesting topic to explore.

Could say that is it hard for someone who is terrified of cockroaches to be automatically no longer terrified of roaches by deciding that they aren't - they may have to reframe it and see the roach as a friend, a visitor, a traveller - could call the roach cute instead of ugly and have some conversations with it like, Hey Mister Roach.  How is it going?

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