Enlightenment And Depression

[Joel3102]

Hey all.

I've been dealing with depression for most of this year and recently been getting really interested in enlightenment. I've been learning to become much more present, and had an experience I've never had the other day where the pleasure I derived from merely the sound of birds chirping was amazing.

however my ego has been resisting this, as I used to have a strong self concept and want to improve myself for egoic reasons (become smarter, more alpha, better looking). This is falling away completely and it's causing me a lot of depressive horrible feelings, but sometimes it feels liberating. 

Has anybody else experienced the torment of the Dark Night of the Soul and successfully gotten past it where they are genuinely happier than ever. Part of me longs for my old self concept, but I know it's an illusion and not the true path to happiness. 

Any tips or guidance would be much appreciated.

 

 

[Prabhaker]

Whenever you are depressed, wait for the moment that the depression goes. Nothing lasts forever; the depression will go. And when it leaves you, wait – be aware and alert – because after the depression, after the night, there will be a dawn and the sun will rise. If you can be alert in that moment. you will he happy that you were depressed. You will be grateful that you are depressed because only through your depression was this mint of happiness possible

But what do we do? We move in an infinite regression We get depressed. Then we get depressed because of the depression: a second depression follows. If you are depressed. that′s okay! – nothing is wrong in it. It is beautiful because through it you will learn and mature. But then you feel badly. "Why do I get depressed? I should not get depressed." Then you start fighting with the depression. The first depression is good, but the second depression is unreal. And this unreal depression will cloud your mind. You will miss the moment that would have followed the real depression.

When depressed, be depressed. Simply be depressed. Don′t get depressed about your depression. When depressed, simply be depressed. Don′t fight it, don′t create any diversion, don′t force it to go. Just allow it to happen; it will go by itself. Life is a flux; nothing remains the same. You are not needed; the river moves by itself, you don′t have to push it. If you are trying to push it, you are simply foolish. The river flows by itself. Allow it to flow.
When depression is there, allow it to be. Don′t get depressed about it. If you want to remove it sooner, you will get depressed. If you fight it, you will create a secondary depression that is dangerous. The first depression is beautiful, God-given. The second depression is your own. It is not God-given; it is mental. Then you will move in mental grooves. They are infinite.

If you get depressed, be happy that you are depressed and allow the depression to be. Then suddenly the depression will disappear and there will be a breakthrough. No clouds will be there and the sky will be clear. For a single moment, heaven opens for you. If you are not depressed about your depression you can contact, you can commune, you can enter this heavenly gate. And once you know it, you have learned one of the ultimate laws of life: that life uses the opposite as a teacher, as a back-ground.

[Prabhaker]

22 minutes ago, Joel3102 said:

I used to have a strong self concept and want to improve myself for egoic reasons (become smarter, more alpha, better looking).

To be ordinary is the most extraordinary thing in the world. Just watch yourself. It hurts very much, it is painful to accept that you are not extraordinary. Watch when you accept the idea that you are ordinary. A great burden is relieved. Suddenly you are in the open space, natural, just the way you are.

[Joel3102]

Very helpful responses! 

Thank you