3 Insights after a period of 5-meo-dmt trips

[Vrubel]

In the last 6 months, I have done something like +-12 (plugged) trips with 5-meo-dmt. I started with low dosages and my first few trips were rather weak but as I upped the dosages and improved my plugging technique the trips became stronger. Now to be clear I have not yet broken through but in my last trips, I definitely felt close to losing an I. 

For the time being, I have decided to go on a winter-stop with my 5-meo use to integrate more and getting used to my new self. Also, I very much so enjoy tripping in my garden and this cannot be done in winter.
Now the dust from all the trip-anticipation and ego-backlashes has settled I can see very clearly how I changed as a person due to the healing and added consciousness from the trips, here are three insights: 

1. How I view my future:

I remember from truffle trips that I had that whenever I thought about my future I literally could see an ominous void (this is by the way a good example of how psychedelics reflect and amplify your own psyche). Now I realize how deluded I was to think my future was some kind of ominous void. It is in the ego's interest to paint the world, in general, and your concept of the future in specific as something dreadful and frightful. This is self-preservation 101. Now after the 5-meo trips, I have the wisdom to realize that my future is exactly the opposite of dreadful: it is shining white! 

Having a genuine and deep optimism in life is a big strength and has nothing to do with naivety.

2. How I relate to nature:

I always was a big lover of nature but like many other modern humans, much of my life I was disconnected from it. But in the last few years, I got a big passion for plants and gardening. This drove me to create a garden with all kinds of vegetables, berries and flowers on my terrace. During my trips, I would marvel at the wonder of nature and get incredibly excited when I discovered a newly blooming flower. Also in some of my trips, I became very ape-like and I moved around through the garden as if I was an ape foraging for food. I actually ate some berries and grazed on the basil. But because my terrace is closed off by walls I could imagine how an ape would feel in captivity and this made me empathize with all animals that are confined to small living spaces in captivity.  

I feel that I also integrated a lot of my stage purple side that was largely repressed in my life. I got a spiritual connection with soil and plants and a new appreciation for natural foods like vegetables and fruit. To me, the growth, flowering and fruit production of a plant symbolizes the miracle of life.  
 

3. I am so utterly nothing and insignificant yet I am so utterly blessed.

In one of my 5-meo trips I made the insight that God plays the Uncle Iroh archetype from avatar the animation serie (of course his character was basically a highly conscious human being). Even though you are a devil "that lost his way". God loves you and is nonetheless always there for you, blessing you in all kinds of ways. His blessings, you take for granted or may slip under your radar. I am a person who says thank you a lot and I usually appreciate other people for example helping me. But nonetheless, during one my trips I also realized that I am really an ungrateful little shit for being so blind to all the ways I have been blessed. I am so blessed it is literally unbelievable to the ego-mind.  
 

These are the 3 insights I want to share for now, but really I got many more, and maybe I will make a part 2. The last thing I want to say is that you too are incredibly blessed and that you need to be grateful for what you have. Chances are that the most valuable things you have are the people you love. If they are alone a lot, spend some time with them, and if that is not possible give them your attention via skype or something.

 

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, Vrubel said:

I made the insight that God plays the Uncle Iroh archetype

You are God.

Stop beating around the bush.

[Vrubel]

@Leo Gura

Yeah, before my 5meo trips the notion of me being G-d did not compute in my mind. Now I can intuit it more and more. But obviously I am not there yet, so I realize that my above insights are not the highest truth. 

But one day (I) will get there, I am not throwing out my 5meo stash(;

[Space]

@Vrubel Work your way up to 25-30mg. Don't stop until Eternal Infinity realises itself.

[Vrubel]

@Space 

I will! with the emphasis on "work my way up". My last dosages that produced the strongest trips were within the 20-25mg range. But before that, I have done even bigger dosages but they were not as strong. I think that incorrect technique had something to do with that but I also feel that the trips gradually become stronger and stronger because with each trip I confront some kind of fear that allows met to go to the 'next level' so to speak in my next trip, even when I am lowering the dosage.