I'm Enlightened!

[cetus]

On ‎8‎/‎3‎/‎2016 at 1:13 PM, Nexeternity said:

 I realized I can look out at reality without conceptualizing it, and if I do conceptualize it I am aware of it and see through the ilusion. 

 

5 hours ago, Nexeternity said:

I want to finish my psychology degree and also see how I can help other people get enlightened

@Nexeternity Sweet!  Great poetry too! Really enjoyed it a lot. Let me ask you about how you see this problem i'm having, if i could. The first time i experienced the self as nothing more than a conceptualizing illusion,  i felt like a freaking ghost. There was suddenly no "Me" to conceptualize anything. Everything up until that moment was always experienced as being "Me" inhabiting "My" body, and conceptualizing, everything. The biggest conceptualization of all , of course, was that there existed an "I" in this body to do the conceptualizing in the first place. That was the granddaddy of all conceptualizations. I feel a little schizophrenic now because I"m not enlightened. Two worlds exist, so to speak. Mind vs. no mind. There is a morphing between the two at best. When I fall back into an unawaken state. i slip and think that there is an "I" inhabiting this body,  It's like a self induced hallucination of "Me". But how to stay in that state of no-self and awakened at all times? Like right now. It's "Me" thinking these thoughts and hitting these keys. This is all a hallucination of "me" happening, but what remains to know that? I keep falling back into the hallucination that there is someone here doing this. My biggest question has always been, WHAT REMAINS?  It's like there is something here that shouldn't be. What's up with that? The "I" should have turned to complete ashes and smoke. Enlightenment must be amazing! Well no, that's not right, there would be no one to be amazed when enlightened. Any suggestions that could help would be greatly appreciated. I feel like a ghost in the machine since.   *You like poetry, You may be well familiar with this one by Walt Whitman    "I must not be awake, for everything looks to me as it has never before. Or else, I'm awake for the first time and everything that was before was just a dream"

 

[Nexeternity]

@cetus56  Hey!

It sounds like you are over thinking it!  Its okay, I do it too   dont beat yourself up heh.

Remember that you are nothing that can be percieved with your senses, thoughts, intelect, or imagination.  You are Nothing.

Meditate for an hour everyday doing self inquiry to see this first hand, and also meditate to just calm your mind.

Also, learn to flatten the illusion!  See your thinking as just sounds in your head, focus on the sound and realize that the meaning you give to those sounds is illusory.   You can do this whenever, even right now you can see these words and letters as just markings on your computer screen.

Try and love and accept yourself, especially the parts you dont like, even the ego, even not being enlightened, everything heh.  See it as okay.

Hope this helps.                                                                                                                                         

[cetus]

@Nexeternity Yea, I think your right when you said love and accept your ego too! I never would have thought of that. I guess I'll have to live with it at times? But how do you stay in the state of transcendence from self and the known at all times, if I may ask? Like right now, the illusion of "me" conversing with what it wrongfully perceives as a "you" exchanging thoughts together. I know that's an illusion happing within an illusion. But sometimes I forget and think that there is actually someone "here" or "there" having this exchange of knowing when there is neither a you, me, here or there.  How do I learn to love and except this illusion?  That gave me a thought just now.  Maybe I could  just laugh at it all? Like a cosmic giggle at the absurdity of it . That could possibly work in transcending this illusion of self at all times. I'll see how it goes by trying both. Loving the ego aspect of self vs. the no-self with no ego to love.

Edited August 6, 2016 by cetus56

[Nexeternity]

@cetus56   Dont try and think yourself into enlightment.  You are more your awareness than your thinking.

Meditate more and focus on your awareness rather than your thinking.

[Eelco1981]

On 6-8-2016 at 9:36 AM, Nexeternity said:

@Eelco1981 I want to finish my psychology degree and also see how I can help other people get enlightened

One more question. From your new point of view, is psychology not just another set of concepts far away from the truth? Or is is still practical on a day to day level?

[Nexeternity]

Hey guys!

I'm excited, going to do some heavy duty shadow work with you guys.

 

After the enlightment I felt like I was an Enlightened God for like 4 or 5 days.  I would cry like once a day of joy, gratitude and love, and felt oh shit I'm having Jesus moments like Leo!  I felt I would wake up the world with my new divine powers.

I felt extremely happy and fulfilled for almost all this time, but I noticed I was having trouble sleeping and I had tensions in my neck and back.  I felt intoxicated by life, but a little too intoxicated, like I felt intoxicated by power.  I noticed I felt superior to others some times, and would judge them for being asleep.  

Everything was really beautiful but it was tiring.  My meditations were amazing but a little too intense.  I started getting obsessed with flattening the illusions of all my thoughts and repeating the thought "life has no meaning" and flattening it.  

I felt like Xerxes in the movie 300 when he speaks with Lionidas and he says "they shall fear my divine power"

Or the emperor from star wars when he says "unlimited power!"

Shit I was becoming Dark Vader haha.

I felt ashamed of this, and of my two posts on this thread which I wrote I had super powers and where I shared a pretty dark poem about ignorance and enlightment.   I was getting an ego about not having an ego.

I notice that I'm back asleep now, though realizing this dark side and owning it has felt really good.

Not really sure what to do next to keep integrating this shadow.

 

Thank you guys for reading me, it really helps.  I hope its useful for you too.

Love, Light, and Darkness (hey I'm trying to own it  )

[cetus]

On ‎8‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 7:34 PM, Nexeternity said:

@cetus56@Nexeternity    Dont try and think yourself into enlightment.  You are more your awareness than your thinking.

Meditate more and focus on your awareness rather than your thinking.

 

On ‎8‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 3:36 PM, cetus56 said:

There was suddenly no "Me" to conceptualize anything.

 

On ‎8‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 3:36 PM, cetus56 said:

But how to stay in that state of no-self and awakened at all times?

@Nexeternity I understand I'm not my "thinking" or conceptualizing mind as I stated earlier. Not all the time anyway. I know I can't "think my way to enlightenment". Even the thought of what enlightenment is automatically turns it into an illusion or concept of mind. That would be trying to bring enlightenment down to this lowly level of the" known". That's not going to happen any time soon. "If it can be spoken of, that ain't it", as the old saying go's. On rare occasions I have experience what I am as pure empty awareness, no self, no likes, no dislikes, no love, no hate, no emotions. no attachment, no knowing of any kind what so ever. True bliss and liberation from the egoic mind. There was nothing for the ego to cling to, good, bad or indifferent.  But that was just tastes and not a permanent state. This is where my original question lies. Leo reminded of something in a statement he made in another post very recently. I think it points to the answers I seek. There is absolute nothingness, the "infinite singularity" that is pure, empty awareness. Maybe I could say, at best I have witnessed that from a distance.  But if i became that, that would cause the final shards of self to utterly burn to ash and all remnants of self would than vanish without a trace. Total and final liberation from self.  I did feel that when the experiences happened. But it's always fleeting within time. So here is where I'm at now to sum it all up. I must become that and not just experience it. I can see the difference in that now!  Thanks brother, all of this really helped piece everything together for me in all different ways! This should all come together nicely at some point.  Maybe I can get myself off this see-saw ride to enlightenment once and for all by not just focusing on awareness but to utterly become it in every way.   * I wrote this the other day and forget never hit the send button. Well here it is now. I just read your latest statement above. Don't worry about it. Yea there is always plenty of work to be done. I been at it on and off for 30 yrs. and there is still  plenty to be done! It's a life long journey. I 'm thinking lately I should maybe put a little boost into my experience. Something that may kick it up a notch. Maybe experiment a little.

[Nexeternity]

@Piotr   Thanks!!!