Trust issues

[NellyR6]

Good morning/ evening or whenever you're reading this. I'm gonna share my story about me and my boyfriend and i hope i'll get some honest opinions and advices. We started dating in April 5th, everything was great in the beggining, we were madly in love etc. One month ago he asked me to move in with him and i did so, i didn't see a reason why not. I was gonna transfer into another college in his hometown, and he was gonna continue with his online buisness. My parents wasn't supporting about the relationship idea so i didn't told them im moving in with him. So i moved in. First week with him was great, i met his parents, they were very supportive of us (and still are) and we all get along very well. Until he started to have some problems with his buisness, which was followed by money issues, car issues. He was stressing all the time. And so he told me he have decided to leave for Paris for 4-5 months to work and invest in his buisness. I supported him, of course. And thats when things started to get bad. He started to get doubts in the relationship. I was able to tell that he's thinking of breaking up with me. He stopped paying attention to me, he wouldn't let me even touch him. I'm usually very emotional person and this broke me, i was crying almost everyday and he would get angry of me crying. I saw that this doesn't help and i stopped showing any emotion. I decided to talk to him. And so we did. He told me he lost his trust in me because i didn't told my parents in the beggining about moving in with him. And i didn't because my dad ruined my past relationship, but that's another story. So i saved the information to save my relationship. But he doesn't understand that. He thinks that if i'm capable of lying to my parents , then im capable of lying to him too. Which i never did, i've always been honest with him, no matter how much the truth hurts. He's been lied and used a lot in his previous relationships, so i get that he has some trust issues. He said he's not seeing a future for our relationship anymore and this really broke my heart, because i truly love him and i gave up a lot of things to be with him. I feel misunderstood and undervaluated. Should i just walk away and move on or try to fix the things somehow? Personally, i think there is a future for us but i want your opinions too. Thank you very much!

[Preety_India]

 

Leave this guy please.  He is mistreating you. 

You deserve much better. 

He is just hurting you emotionally. 

Break up with him forever and be done with him. 

 

[NellyR6]

Thank you for your opinion! I will reconsider doing that. I'm leaving to my hometown soon anyway.

[Farnaby]

Hey!

Sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time. Hard to say for us what you should do. I know this answer sucks, but the truth is that only you know what you need to do and that requires to get in touch with yourself and be honest with yourself. Worst case scenario: you make a decision, see that it wasn't the best for you and do something different. 

If you both are willing to work on your problems, together and on your own, it could work, but you would need to go to couples therapy and a personal therapy to address each one's personal problems that are manifesting in the relationship. 

For a relationship to work and be healthy, you need to feel free to express yourself. If you feel like you can't show your feelings, it's not healthy. There also needs to be trust.

You also said that you gave up a lot of things to be with him. IMO, sacrifice like this often leads to resentment. Sure, no relationship or situation is perfect and sometimes we have to find a solution that's OK for both, but if you feel like you're sacrificing important aspects of your life for the other person, that doesn't usually turn out so well IME. 

I wish you good luck!

[Preety_India]

 

3 hours ago, NellyR6 said:

Thank you for your opinion! I will reconsider doing that. I'm leaving to my hometown soon anyway.

That's good decision my friend. Going to your hometown will help you breathe and take your mind off the person. You don't need to make such sacrifices for a person who think they can't trust you. He is being very hurtful and unnecessarily Guilting you for nothing. He is not good for you. 

I have been through several bad relationships so I can easily read signs. 

Hope you are safe wherever you are. And take care. Blessings!!