Anger, the root of your problems

[Igor82]

Thank you in advance for reading the whole post 

It has been 3,5 years since I discovered personal development/L.e.o, (I was 14,5) and I have been lucky enough to live with my mom this time with barely any responsibilities. The initial goal was to build up a passive income, then the goals became to find my life purpose. Basic enlightenment work in there as well.

This would be an extensive explanation of why you should do Leo's forgiveness video:

I have recently gone through a relationship with a yoga teacher, this was my first relationship, and I was very confused. You know what I essentially did in that relationship? I abandoned almost all my goals, and subconsciously transmuted that energy of trying to achieve my goals - to be investing that energy into the relationship. Why? Well, what happened is that I have had a very angry father growing up, and he passed on so much of his anger onto me, so I became an angry child, trying to find the love I didn't get from my angry dad, in my girlfriend. And so I shaped her into my dad in my mind, I acted as if she was my dad, I focused on her as much as I wanted my dad's love, and as I didn't know how to handle this well of anger deep inside of me, I just reacted to fill the hole that it came from - lack of love from my dad. And this hole was what caused me to build these goals, based on just trying to fill that hole, and now she was there, so I abandoned the goals and started pursuing her.

Anger, I assume is what Eckart Tolle calls "the pain-body". We can either observe it and not identify with it, but it is there for a reason. Eckhart Tolle's method of getting rid of anger is quite ineffective.

Attributes of anger: When you become angry, you are anger. Anger don't listen, anger has a very egocentric vibe. Anger is very violent and destructive, anger LOVES to destroy. Anger is very energetic, anger is hurt, anger wants love. Anger saddens the heart when it sees how much destruction is made. Not expressing anger will make you fearful and depressed, as you build up your egoic patterns upon anger, you will start fearing to express your anger, and what anger hates the most is forgiveness. Forgiveness is love, understanding, becoming.

For me, anger is such a hindrance, it hinders loving creativity, it creates monstrosities instead. It takes away enthusiasm, and really really slows down the works. My father is a musician, but he never got to release his amazing music because of anger, his unwillingness to forgive those who hurt him, and indeed, hurt him a lot. And so he is an alcoholic, mainly because of his fear and inability to love, thus forgive.

Fear of love, its just anger. We are hurt and angry, we constantly hurt ourselves in this fucking hell we call life, and instead of forgiving, being wise and understanding, we react, and become the rage, fearing real love the most.

If you want real love, you will have to forgive!! If just my dad forgave all those who hurt him, when they did hurt him, he would've saved 50 years of his time that he instead wasted being angry and destructive.

We love anger. We fucking love expressing anger. It comes to the point where we can not distinguish between love and anger on the feeling level. And anger is subtle, we carry it around constantly, and we love expressing anger, but that makes us destructive. It equips us with such an energetic force, but also the attributes that anger has, and most tragically, it makes us afraid of love.

I have built so many patterns on suppressing anger. Mainly social habits, perfectionism, addictions, fears, habits, ways of carrying myself, I mean, it goes deep. It feels like my ego has been built upon the suppressed anger that I have never expressed, and if I suppress anger, specifically anger, I have became DIRECTLY: sad, fearful, shameful, having low self-esteem, very selfish, and INDIRECTLY: Anxious, unproductive, unattractive, etc.

What is the root of our problems is suppressed anger. We cannot suppress anxiety, fear, depression, shame, etc, but what we can suppress is anger. We do this by not forgiving, and not expressing our anger. Expressing anger and forgiving is very closely ties into each other, consider this:

When you express your anger to another person, when you are honest about how the other person has caused you to be angry, that invites the other person to either express his anger onto you or to make you understand what was actually going on. After anger, we express what actually happened from our perspective, and we do this naturally from our heart, to make the other person forgive us!!! And so expressing anger means forgiveness, and we can only be angry at other people who hurt us, or things who hurt us. But eventually, we become angry at ourselves for hurting ourselves out of the anger we learned to suppress from others who hurt us.

Forgive your parents. They were probably very angry.

When it comes to dating and relationships, your anger as a man or woman is the no1 cause of your problems in the relationships. Because anger won't listen to the other person, etc. And as we have probably gotten our anger from the parents who hurt us, we will try to solve these problems in the relationship, because now love is there! And sorta the ego molds the other person into one of your parents, or both -and you become attracted to friends and partners who mimic your parent's behavior just so you can try to solve the problems with love-, and if I see my yoga teacher girlfriend as my dad, ill become the anger and resentment I have towards my dad, fused in with the love, and so I become in love with expressing my anger, and sometimes this -not in my case- could go to lengths where the guy would beat her up, because his suppressed anger felt like it. And girls get turned off by your suppressed anger, and whatever that means for you, because it means your inability to listen, care, love, be confident, happy, creative, etc.

Are you a perfectionist?  Perfectionism is rage at its finest!!  (suppressed rage: passive-aggressiveness)

Take a psychedelic. You become very childish, right? A child has no anger. And a psychedelic opens you up to love and forgiveness, and that is such a useful tool.

If you would have no anger, you would be just like a child. Fearless in self-expression, but maybe much wiser as you're now grown up.

In conclusion: Suppressing anger will make you sad, depressed, shameful, uptight, unattractive, uncreative, bitter, passive-aggressive, and unproductive. If you want to become less angry, forgiveness is key. Forgiving by understanding the person who hurt you so much that you ultimately become him, or as Leo said in his forgiveness video, recognize that person as yourself, and as universal love, and then there is nothing to forgive. An enlightened person recognizes this, but you can too!! Just forgive, be like Jesus :D. The end result is the melting away of your suppressed anger and whatever that makes you: Shameful, sad, unattractive, and replacing all of that with childish being of innocent love and creativity. And that is all you want. To forgive. To love. To understand. Your girl will love this, all girls will flock around you. Because now you don't have a need to get love based on anger, now you have filled that hole with love and understanding, being a well of love for the girl, handsome AF, a wise childish spirit of love.

For me, it feels like these 3 years had lead up to me recognizing the power of forgiveness, and this really feels like the knee of the curve. It's all getting better from here.

 

Book to read: Radical Honesty, by Brad Blanton. (Psychotherapy expert made a book on releasing anger to become more child-like, by using radical levels of honesty) Leo Video: How To Forgive Anyone Who Hurt You - A Powerful Trauma Release Exercise

 

Edited June 25, 2020 by Igor82
spelling

[Espaim]

[kag101]

7 hours ago, Igor82 said:

A child has no anger.

Say that again, lol