Dependency is the Enlightenment Killer

[JayG84]

I just realized that I have been dependent on people my whole entire life. From my "birth" to now, I've been dependent on my family, friends, teachers, gurus, leaders, bosses, co-workers...etc. I will never awaken if I am dependent on others in any way. I realized this after hearing someone say that I am literally in a jungle of my own making and that I must make my own way out. I am responsible entirely for myself, there is no one to lead me. The moment I depend on leaders, I become weak. I must realize this in my heart, not just in the mind. Then I might be set free.

But I also realized that being complete on my own scares the hell out of me. I never knew I had this fear. I've been questioning my fears a lot lately, and I've seen that a lot of them have disappeared. But this fear just came up in me when I heard that.

I'm completely alone. I'm admitting to myself right now (and it's very hard to do) that I hate being by myself without any distractions. I love conceptualizing and philosophizing and I'm secretly hoping that this is going to lead to Enlightenment someday. But truth is, it never will. I have to sit quietly, and look for myelf. I'm all alone in this, and I think I have to work through this fear if I'm going to have any chance of awakening someday.

[WelcometoReality]

@JayG84 That's a great insight. Thanis for sharing. <3