kink, tantra, and sexual novelty

[etc]

My sex life so far has been one of deep exploration. It has been a way for me to experiment with different states, sensations, emotions, capacities, roles and such. But more so than experiement its been a way to grow... find an push boundaries, take down walls. This has happened through pain play, role play, shibari, submission, domination, among other things, somtimes going into the extreeme. Seeking discomfort can have a postive impact on ones life. This has been my personal development before I even knew what it was. 

After many years of developing myself with psychedelics, therapy, healing, research, following Leo since the beginning, books etc and finally realizing the truth (that I am not my thoughts, feelings, sensations or story)-I see where some of the urges came from. The ego wanting to affirm some untrue beleifs I had about myself. Many of the destructive desires, power play type games have subsided since coming to realize what I really am... But I still cannot imagine myself having a purely vanilla sex life and enjoying it. My mind still wants to try new things,  Now that thing is tantra, as it is still non conventional but non destructive. 

I wonder if experience seeking will leave me unhappy, or if I should embrace my naturally explorative side. I´m not sure how to feel about at this point in my evolution. If my view on sex is skewed. For now i am keeping to myself while i figure this out. 

I welcome perspectives. Thanks 

 

Edited June 19, 2020 by etc

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, etc said:

or if I should embrace my naturally explorative side.

Embrace your explorative side as long it doesn't hurt others. Exhaust your curiosities. Burn through some karma.

[JosephKnecht]

14 hours ago, etc said:

I´m not sure how to feel about at this point in my evolution. If my view on sex is skewed. For now i am keeping to myself while i figure this out. 

There are 2 types of learning. 

The first one is through experience. You desire for experience and until you exhaust the desire for the experience, you will not be satisfied. 

The second one is through learning. You can learn deeply why you desire these experiences, and once you learn the desire will go away. If there are still desires, you have not learned deeply. 

In the end, it matters not which of the two types you pick. The first one takes longer, while the second usually is shorter. 

 

[Moreira]

It seems like you're desensitized. Everytime you need newer stimulation, like in dopamine resistance. A monk could have an orgasm without even touching himself. Time to go on  a dopamin detox week.