intense and scary experience in meditation

[Nahm]

@Moment

Meditation at it’s most basic level is focusing on breathing in the stomach & relaxing the body, thus indirectly detaching attention from thoughts. Thought ceases in activity, simply from not receiving attention. The body is infinite intelligence, but the thinking dualistic mind believes it’s running the show. This is brought to an end in meditation, in ‘returning to’, or realization of, who you really are. 

When the body relaxes deeply, it releases contractions; tension from emotions created in misunderstanding via one’s forgetting who one is and  “making sense” of self & reality in an apparent physical universe & separate body. These ‘held’ tensions are the root cause of overthinking. The mind keeps churning in an attempt to resolve with thinking, what is only resolved in feeling. 

When the body (infinite intelligence / nothing to know) begins releasing the suppressed falsities (all knowledge & specifically the idea of “me”), the mind creates narratives of the experience to perpetuate “it’s control”. In perpetuating the misunderstandings, rather than relaxing & releasing the suppressed emotions by maintaining focus on stomach breathing, the mind (thinking) weaves & latches onto varies models of duality to control the narrative. (Kundalini, demons, assertion, death, nervous disorders, past “bad” trips, fear, anxiety & past stories, depression & future stories, projections, deflections,  “identity”, “loss”, “sacrifice”, etc)

But meditation is focusing on breathing from the stomach & relaxing the body, and thus indirectly detaching from thoughts. To believe any narrative which arises in meditation, is to sustain and perpetuate the “idea of you”, so as not to ‘directly experience’, you. 

So if you don’t want to awaken, but enjoy the fundamental benefits of meditation, just meditate for twenty minutes a day. Ideally in the morning. 

If you do want to awaken, realize you got caught up in a thought story, and meditation was focusing on breathing from the stomach, and thus indirectly letting thinking go. The truth is the mind is making it all up, and the “fear” is the mind’s label to justify denying the truth “of itself”, the profound love that is, that you actually are.

Write about how you feel and why, in a journal, to understand yourself & develop emotional intelligence. 

Write what you want in this experience of life on your dreamboard, and allow the surfacing of desire & authenticity to help you realize & release resistance thoughts. Live the life you actually want to live, the way you actually want to live it. 

[Dumuzzi]

33 minutes ago, Moment said:

@Dumuzzi what you say about inner compulsion to follow it is very true. I been aware of that impulse within myself for a while. Its such a wierd thing. Anyways I have read a lot about the downsides to Kundalini awakening, but people never mention what benefits they have gotten form it? Sometimes i get the feeling that Kundalini really doesnt benefit people in any way, except maybe increased energy. But that people are just forced to accept their situation, and therefore it is much easier for the psyche to considered it a positive thing. And that since it is such a mysterious and "spiritual" phenomenon, it must be something valuable and good. Correct me if I am wrong

 

In what way has Kundalini awakening been worth it to you? Do you have any real tangible benefits that you can point at ? 

Well, that would be the difference between a spontaneous and a conscious awakening. It is hard to reap the benefits if you don't even understand what's happening to you. 

I would say that in my case, I sorta kinda knew what was happening to me and directed it to some extent, but also allowed it to unfold on its own. 

The benefits are manifold, but not all of them are accessible to every person and these are generally known as Siddhis. In my case I noticed the following abilities that have not been there before:

- An ability to communicate and interact with higher beings, even physically (pr to be more precise, energetically)

- The ability to heal through energy

- The ability to manifest desired results without particularly trying. 

- Very strong premonitions even just certain "knowing" without where it comes from, about future events

- Increased telepathy and synchronicities to a spooky degree

- A feeling of being "in tune" with the universe, generally being in the right place at the right time without any special effort

- A free flow of artistic creativity a sort of effortless output of art that has value

- The ability to talk at length about serious and particularly spiritual subjects, without tiring, just being sustained by the spirit so to speak and being divinely inspired

- Much increased memory and cognitive function

- Being happy and content with the way things are and with spiritual rewards, with no particular desire for material rewards, beyond the basic necessities

- Lack of fear, full conviction and supreme confidence

- A lack of interest in the outcome of your actions. You do things for their own sake, not because you have any desire for a particular outcome to satisfy your ego

- No fear of death. You realise that you cannot die, because your consciousness is eternal, only the body you are currently inhabiting is subject to the vagaries of time, not your immortal soul

- Unshakable conviction that God is real and that you are part of that greater whole which is an emanation of the prime mover, the source consciousness

- Your prayers are answered, sometimes immediately. But, they aren't even prayers really, more like offhand thoughts when in communion with a deity. When connected to a higher power, just thinking about a desired outcome can make it manifest pretty swiftly, though I must stress, not on the level of the miraculous. These outcomes still must follow the basic laws of nature.

- Unceasing, almost unbearable happiness and joy, whenever you want it. You connect to Source and et voila, you have the entire universe at your fingertips and there is no end to the joy and pleasure that emanates from this heavenly state.

Now, admittedly, there are drawbacks, such as having very little interest in ordinary things and material outcomes even most friendships and relationships will struggle to survive such a profound transformation. But, I think it is well worth the trade-off.

[Moment]

@Dumuzzi nice to see that you have actually gotten something good out of it

Do you believe its possible to awaken Kundalini gently and slowly? If I take small steps in my spiritual practice?  

Also, what about psychedelics? I have read that they can trigger Kundalini awakening. I have some experience with psychedelics in the past, but never tried them when I have these symptoms. I have got my hands on some 5-meo-dmt, but I am actually more scared of the possibility of Kundalini awakening, than the drug itself. 

[Dumuzzi]

11 hours ago, Moment said:

@Dumuzzi nice to see that you have actually gotten something good out of it

Do you believe its possible to awaken Kundalini gently and slowly? If I take small steps in my spiritual practice?  

Also, what about psychedelics? I have read that they can trigger Kundalini awakening. I have some experience with psychedelics in the past, but never tried them when I have these symptoms. I have got my hands on some 5-meo-dmt, but I am actually more scared of the possibility of Kundalini awakening, than the drug itself. 

The aim of most Yogic and Tantric traditions is to either prepare the body for a Kundalini awakening, or to go further and direct and temper its rise slowly and methodically. The danger with psychedelics is that they can fry your system by giving you a sudden awakening you are unprepared for. However, I have no experience with them, I must stress.

One thing to note is that in the Vedas, the ancient Rishis referred to Soma with a double meaning. On the one hand, it was the nectar of the gods, of immortality, but it also referred to a psychedelic mushroom the ancients took to help them connect to the gods. The Vedas were most probably written under the influence of psychedelics, by ancient seers. 

Also, Soma/Nectar in most ancient spiritual systems actually refers to the compound known as DMT, which is secreted by the pineal gland upon stimulation (such as pushing the tongue against the palate for an extended time, during meditation) or generally by the Kundalini reaching the pineal and secreting DMT naturally. Of course you can use synthetic or plant-based forms of DMT to achieve a similar effect, but it is certainly rather risky. A lot of people who are mentally ill got that way through the overuse or misuse of psychedelics, so I'd be careful.