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Preety_India

Boutade. Dealing with the Corona Crisis

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:ph34r:This journal is my reflection on what I feel about the situation and how I'm going to be positive throughout this time to help me, my family and friends to stay strong and courageous through this crisis. 

This situation will also test my determination and resolve to get through and fight as I have always done. 

I'm also going to note incidents of human behavior where I can understand human nature better so in times of crisis in the future, I'm better adapted to the actions and effects of the human nature and keep myself protected at all times from the pitfalls and drawbacks of humanity. 

To keep myself on an alert so that I do not fall prey to the wrongdoings of human nature. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I've been struggling with a lot of anxiety since the last week because of the whole coronavirus situation. 

I need to stay hydrated. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I'm sick of living

Too depressed. 

 

 

They just announced a 21 day lockdown in my country. 

Don't know how to deal with it. It's already getting tough to get food. 

Now it will get worse. 

The pharmacy next to my house didn't have the medication for my mom. 

I'm fed up. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I purchased a mask today. 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I don't know about this but I did purchase the mask. 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I'm trying to draw enough strength to get through this period of uncertainty. 

Things haven't been good 

 

I really need bullet focus. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Sometimes I think how this is going to change the world after we are done with it. 

The question also arises, are we ever going to be done with it? 

And even if we are done with it, how is it going to change people across the globe. 

Remember 911?

That changed everything. Back in those days if my relatives went to the airport they wouldn't need an ID or documents or any of thay stuff. 

But now if I have to go to the airport, I will need so much documentation and multiple baggage checks and this and that..the added layers of security just screw you up, tensing up your body. Travel feels like a mission to Mars. 

I'm suspecting something similar with this Corona crisis. 

Imagine if I went to the doctor the next time just for a routine health issue and God forbid if I happened to sneeze, the doctor might tell me to get tested immediately or I'll be told to sit away from the rest of the crowd. How is that going to feel like? 

Being segregated, isolated... 

Are we going to do social distancing forever? 

What if people are afraid of the dormant virus? 

What if someone said they had Covid-19 but now they are symptom free and doing well, would someone want to be close to them, would someone be willing to kiss them. 

These questions are difficult and their answers uncertain. We never know how humanity is going to shape up in the throes of this gargantuan challenge. 

What happened to the world in just a matter of days? 

Although people will get back to work and everything will seem as usual, will it be possible for people to simply forget and act like nothing ever happened. Because the impact of 911 was so severe and was never completely forgotten even after a long time, so it might be all smiles and joy on the surface but people could harbor tremendous fear and aversion inside them towards each other. As if humanity wasn't already separated by so many different aspects like culture, religion, skin color that we needed a virus for people to fear each other even more. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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My fears about the coronavirus have significantly reduced over the course of the past few days.. 

Also I got some groceries 3 days ago. I don't have to suffer hopefully at least for another 10 days. 

I got 10 days worth of groceries, flour, rice bags, some chicken, veggies and cheese, milk and yogurt, and lots of cookies. 

I have 10 packs of cookies now. Enough to last 1 to 2 weeks. 

Also dal pulses. It was out of stock for so many days. But finally got it. 

I got 2 packs of salt. 

I wish I could get a coke bottle. Some days I really crave these cold beverages especially during this summer.

Right now a coke bottle is a luxury because none of the shops or malls have it. 

I got onions. That was fortunate find. 

Some lettuce and potatoes as well. 

Hopefully my situation doesn't get desperate again. 

I sold some camping material last week and I had enough money to get the groceries.. 

Milk is still a huge problem. But I have enough milk for now. 

I got tons of tons of cleaning supply, tisssue rolls, detergent, soaps, sanitizers, dishwashing detergent, all sorts of cleaning detergent and liquids and bathroom cleaning supplies. Tons of it. I stored it in the garage shoe rack. 

There's no room left to store these items. 

I don't even know If I will even use them. 

I almost got a 1 year supply and stocked it. Ridiculous. I feel stupid for buying so much. 

Anyway I am stocked up at least with the cleaning stuff but not with the groceries. Because the grocery was difficult to get.. All stores were out of stock most of the days. 

So far so good. 

Building my Morale 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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The milk got consumed so quick. 

Had to get some more packs of milk yesterday. Very tiring 

Not getting vegetables anymore. 

Just trying to use whatever I can. 

Things are going to be hard again. 

I'm not allowed to leave my apartment. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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:'( it's hard but stay strong... Don't fall to fear no matter what.. stay strong for your family

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Things seem to be going back to normal I guess 

 

This is May 14

And I'm expecting that by the end of the May month things are going to be okay and safe. 

At least I'm waiting to go out and travel and be able to go out. 

My apartment has still not lifted the ban on limited mobility 

I'm supposed to submit paperwork if I have to go out every day. Which is ridiculous 

 

Also my job has been hit hard. No more clients calling for the service. Because there are no events at this time 

 

The events will only begin once people feel safe to have a crowd. So I will have to wait for a really long time like several months to get my job back.. 

The government has not relaxed the rules for crowds. Of course. The social distancing is going to be happening over the course of few more months. 

Once they relax social distancing rules I can get offers once again. Since my work is about being in large crowds of people this wont be possible any time soon 

So a really long time with no work and no income. Meanwhile I just have to rely on selling camping material which I'm currently doing to make some bucks in the meanwhile. Last week I was able to sell some but not much. 

Whatever works works...I can't complain much because there are many people sitting home who lost their jobs just like me. They are suffering as well. 

Somehow this whole coronavirus situation looks like a period of sad darkness and misery, like a war period. And I just while my time away writing and getting bored and sometimes hungry. 

Once the coronavirus is over and done with , it will be like freedom. I will able to go out which I'm desperately waiting for. I will be able to sit in a park, enjoy the sunset, walk in nature, look at a pond or river, go to a shopping mall, travel in public transport, enjoy the greenery around, meditate in the woods... So on.. 

. Don't know when this will happen. It's going to take probably the end of June or July and my patience is being sorely tried. 

I wish It could happen at the earliest but I understand why staying at home is so important. But still... I'm so tired of this shit. 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India
I wrote done with and over, instead of over and done with, silly me :-)

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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