What path to choose after rehab?

[Strangeloop]

So basically I have two choices, atleast I'm aware of these two choices. I either go back home in my hometown and find some work there or I stay near my rehab in the city and find work there while volunteering as a worker in rehab.

I really have trouble choosing the path, I don't know which one will be the best of me. I waited for the answer to come as I think that everything puts itself in it's own place with time. But I still have a decision to make on my own. 

I know if I choose my hometown I will fall back into drug use again as before. And if I stay in rehab a bit longer I will stay sober for a longer period of time.

So it really depends if whatever or not I want to stay sober or not. Cuz I big part of me leans towards using drugs again and another part wants to be sober.

To take in mind that while I had gone home for weekends, during those weekends I fell back to drug use, 3 times it was With overuse my prescribed medication for schizophrenia and 1 time 1 full bottle of beer. And nobody knows about it beside myself, relatively speaking.

And being sober is kinda nice but my parents are skeptical about being in rehab a bit longer so I don't know what to do really.

Help please, do you know any questions that might help to find the answer for this issue?

[Average Investor]

I think that you know deep down that staying with the rehab would be best for you. But it all depends on where you are at and what you want to do. If you have not had enough suffering from the drug use, then you might be wanting to go back. 

It would really help you kick the urge to use drugs by starting to exercise. I think that is one of the more powerful ways to help build discipline and get yourself moving in the right direction. Are you doing any practices you have seen here? There are a lot of good videos out by Leo on quitting addictions. 

Once you are able to reach a high level of fulfillment the need for drugs becomes less and less. It would be ideal for you to meet all of your base needs as best that you can to help move away from the urge for drugs. Finding meaningful work is really going to play a big part in that. Having good relationships that are promoting you to do better things is going to play a big factor in that too. If you are hanging out with people that are doing a lot of drugs, then consider lessening your time with them, or completely removing them from your life if possible.  That and nearly all of the practices on this forum do help towards not needing the dependence of chemicals. 

It sounds like you are having a hard time staying sober as it is. If you truly do want to continue on the path towards that sobriety, then I think the rehab might be the best choice for now. 

[Strangeloop]

@Average Investor Thank you man for encouraging me to be sober. I thought I would only get the opposite. Because I think this forum is all about doing drugs and being spritual with those drugs but I cuz not everyone is on that boat.

In rehab they say that we have to fight against drug use and stay sober all the time and on the contrary Leo "sells" that psychedelics can actually do some good to humanity. So I'm very confused about it. Maybe finding a compromise between drugs and soberity is a solution. And there comes the thought about "controlled" use of drugs. Rehab says it's a myth and that we can't use drugs moderately. And I kinda see it in myself when I crave the drugs so much that my body just moves towards them besides the want to stay sober. I'm afraid that drugs will destroy my psyche so much that I won't be able to see the difference between myself and other, and being sober shows that there is some kind of boundary (even if it's imaginery ) between me and other.

I know it will take time and some radical work to truly commit to being sober and at this point I only see two options either drug myself to death or use drugs to revive myself from death. 

It's all about the drugs in my mind, it's hard to let go, like you said I'm having trouble being sober as it is and rehab is the safest place to stay sober.

[Average Investor]

@Strangeloop You are right and there is a fine line between being able to use stuff for spiritual purposes or not. If you are having trouble managing drug addiction in general it might be best to try to avoid all of it all together. But you would have to come to the best conclusion for yourself. It is all subjective, so for one person they can try all sorts of drugs a couple times and never have an issue. But some people get addicted to stuff from their first use. Now psychedelics themselves are not addictive, but someone could use and abuse them in negative ways. Especially if someone is already predisposed to abusing other drugs. 

It sounds like regardless you are in a place where you need to reset anyway. It would likely be wise to just avoid all of it until you are able to get other things going smoothly in life. Now that is not saying that I recommend you abuse drugs in the future. But if you decide to trip again and are able to do it from a responsible place it might still be beneficial. But you have to have the self control to do that. Without self control even psychedelics can be harmful. 

I think it would be wise to work on basic self help stuff as much as possible and get yourself going strong. Work on all of your basic stuff. Get your health and energy in line. Work on your motivation, self-esteem, relationships, etc. Research the schizophrenia and any other disorder you might be dealing with to where you can find solutions to help you deal with any effects of them. I have found for myself there is always more to learn with stuff like that. Take the time to buy a few books around it and find some helpful people on youtube. There is a ton of information around that and even communities built around supporting people with the same issue.  Get all of that stuff down and work towards finding some work you find meaningful. All of that will really help keep you on track and away from drugs. There is some amazing stuff in the spiritual stuff taught here, but you have to have everything in order really to be able to work on it well. 

[Elisabeth]

You absolutely do need to stay sober. 

Your parents don't know that you go back to drug use as soon as you visit home. It they knew, even they might be more supportive of you staying. Even if they aren't, their opinion doesn't matter that much. What matters is how you want to live your life in the decades to come. 

I bet it's a sober life you're hoping for. If you need more support to get there and keep it up, by all means, take it.