acid trip report....enlightenment !!!

[infinitelove]

Dosage :

I honestly don't know. I have tripped on acid previously and it was way more intense. I may say it is like 60 ug since I didn't see any patterns and since it was not like that one on 130 ug where I felt like real existential pressure.

I am on SSRIs so this may also explain why it was weak. my acid is advertised as 200 ug but I don't believe this shit, it was way much weaker. 

settings and intentions :

alone in my room. I was mainly  on doing psychotherapy. I have social anxiety and OCD and they caused a lot of suffering to me. they inhibited every aspect of my life including spiritualist

spiritual Insights :

*when I was reaching the peak , I was meditating and looking inward. it was  a strange feeling . I was expecting my identity to expand or dissolve because this is what I feel when I go deep with spiritual feelings but that didn't happen. what happened is I went into this very calm and peaceful moment, and then I realized that I am what have been seeking all this long. I was very surprised by this realization although I am really into non-duality and hear a lot of you are GOD. I said ahhhhhaaaa now I see it, I hid my self from my self to rediscover my self, what a joy. I started saying I am GOD in Arabic , I am Allah again and again which is something I don't really do, this was my first time. this is enlightenment , I am really god . then I contemplated how fool are blue religious people. how deluded they are, how blind they are. I also contemplated Mohammad, and How he fooled all these red people into religion while he knew the truth that he is GOD. I started to become mad about the truth that I discovered, and I felt like all my problem's were solved instantly , there was no problems any more, I was totally surrendering everything. I was making sure that I must never forget this truth, that I am GOD. I kept reassuring myself that this not acid stuff , this is real !!!!

* a real insight is a change of reality and perspective that is as real as seeing your own hand !! this is the level that I must seek.

* I felt like my body contained galaxies and stars and planets,

* I started imaging very religious symbols form other religions like blue avatars from Hinduism and strange christian symbols. also rays that contained animals , unicorns , rainbows and they were rapidly unraveling their content which was essentially everything

psychotherapuetic insights :

these were even more important to me than the spiritual insights

* I keep doing this, commentating negatively on my behaviors and feelings and this causes me to become anxious and depressed. this is it , this is the core of all my problems. I need to stop doing that. I felt that deeply and challenged those thoughts and let them go

* I stored a lot of my negative feelings in my abdomen and head. I must start working on releasing them

* I really love people. I care about them. I am not an introvert. surprisingly , I have been discovering lately that the true me is more extroverted than introverted

*work slowly on your goals. step by step. not jumps and falls.

* the pain you feel during your trips ( headaches and abdominal pain) is just really how  you live your life daily. pain and misery

* I became really conscious  of how blue and underdeveloped my society is and how way more developed western societies are. I became conscious of  how sexually repressed we are as Muslims which is something I didn't really see previously

 

 

[Nahm]

@infinitelove Excellent. Thanks for sharing!

[Javfly33]

Very nice report, that's what I call an intense use of a psychedelic. By the way I am not sure if it's safe to mix SSRI with psychedelics like acid. Better do some research because I'm not sure 

[Grateful Dead]

1 hour ago, infinitelove said:

I hid my self from my self to rediscover my self, what a joy.

beautiful!

Seems like a very healing and motivating trip but you should be careful with psychedelics if you take SSRI's.