How To Get In The Mood For Sex As A Female All The Time

[Salaam]

@Fitness Model

I want to take the time to answer you properly so I'll get to your questions soon but in the mean time, here's a little something I wrote for some other people relating to seduction.

And also, just call me Salaam or David, the master stuff is for the bedroom we're equals here.

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On a fundamental level what makes a story? It has to have at least three parts right? What some would call a beginning, a middle, and an end, but for the purposes of pleasure we'll call them something different in a second. But, first an exercise.

On the tip your finger there is a stretch of skin between your fingernail and the pad of your finger that feels softer and less "grippy" than the pad of your actual finger tip.

Take that spot and trail it gently across the skin of the wrist of your inner arm. Draw slow looping lines with your finger up your inner arm, to your outer arm, and then back in again, cycling slowly from the feel of inner skin to outer as you make your way toward the crease in the pit of your elbow where it bends inward.

As you get to that crease, slooooow down and draw out the sensation and tension that occurs as you trail along the edge of that crease, without actually breaking the crease and touching the center of that soft skin at the pit.

Instead, slowly draw your finger down the edges of that crease to the soft skin past your elbow and along the inner arm towards your arm-pit. Notice how the feelings change as you cycle through the different kinds of skin and how they build upon each other like a story. How you can create an open-loop, that builds and builds if you loop back and run along the edges of the crease in your elbow pit, increasing tension.

What this is about is learning to differentiate between the skins sensitivity types and how you can then stack those differences to create an experience.

1. Skin along the inner arms, thighs, etc.
2. skin along the outer arms, thighs, etc.
3. Skin along the folds and creases of the body like the back of the knees and elbows, crease of the neck, clitoris, nipples, penis, inside the vagina (g-spot), etc. (notice how the most sensitive parts of us are hidden in the creases and corners of our body. Like how the penis and clit actually have specialized ways of retracting and hiding)

If those three types are the elements of pleasure, then:
#1 introduces the pleasure (beginning of the story or chapter)
#2 grounds and contrasts the initial pleasure (middle)
#3 is the climax that you edge along, building tension and anticipation (climax or end)

So if we made it like music or a rhyme scheme, the exercise above would have a rhythm of 1,2,1,2,1,2,threee,1,2,1,2,threeeeeeeee,1,2,1,2, 3 ad infinitum (HOWEVER, you can and should switch this up with different tempos and pacing. Make it yours!)

What we did with the arm, you can do with many other parts of the body, like the neck or lips. The lips actually have 3 very subtly different kinds of skin as well, and as you kiss you can cycle between the different parts of the lips brushing against each other and build tension.

Further, much like a book can cycle between characters as it goes from chapter to chapter, a seducer can cycle between different body parts, leaving open loops of pleasure and tension that increases each time you return back to the character/body part you had previously left on a cliffhanger. In effect, with the understanding above, you can leave every part of his or her body a tingling open-loop cliff-hanger of a story aching for that final tipping over the edge into climax. Plus, each area on the body has different intensities of sensation for their respective 1,2, and 3 parts. The difference between a woman's arm and her vagina for example. But, make no mistake playing with this pattern just on the arm can be enough to bring your partner amazing pleasure, especially when you add different things like a bit of pain to the mix (biting the inner wrist just as the pleasure edges, which adds a new dimension to the story, especially when it's unexpected).

But, what I gave you above is just the bones of the story. The flavor and energy of the story comes from your intent to touch and the emotion behind it and the overall cohesion of the "story" depends on your ability to keep a rhythm. Think back on the emotional space you were in when you first tried my exercise. What happens if you slowly breathe and relax and fill yourself with feelings of sex and pleasure? How does that change the experience of the exercise?

So, with the above, you've now got the bones of understanding, but authenticity, spirit, enjoyment, and rhythm will be the rest you need to really make your story sing. It's great to know the structure, but the emotions and meaning of what you're expressing will be your truest guide. Without it, this will come across as mechanical, and that's not fun. Make it juicy with how you feel and what it means to you.

I hope this helps some of you all. It's a joy to have the freedom and ability so that every touch can have a story and an identity. It changes your touch from some one or two-dimensional thing, to something more that builds, which can help us all express the desires we wish to share.
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(These are some additional comments from me and and another guy that came up when I posted my touch thing on a seduction forum)

(Ijji)
Great! Exactly the type of post I wish there was more of!! These are just the type of details I too think in terms of, when it comes to kino.

Sadly, most guys seem to lack similar level of mindfulness, so there was rarely much discussion following this type of posts in the past. But that wont be the case if I have a say!

So here are my immediate 'argumentative' thoughts:
-Why so liberal with your 3s?
-Part about slowing down (tempo) is very important imo. I would emphasize it even a bit more than you did.
-Rhythm is great in itself, but also because it facilitates 'breaking the pattern'.
-The 'Weak 2 > Strong 2/3' insertion. (Its actually another type of 'slowing down' and it is amazing!)

I will probably elaborate/ add more thoughts later. Hopefully others will chime in too!

(Me)
Nice and thanks ijji! I hope you do add more later, I wanted to introduce this as like looking at the bones or structure of how people approach kino on a basic level and then building and enhancing upon it with different styles and added dimensions.

-The liberal 3 thing was an attempt to illustrate drawing out the 3. So threeeeeeee, instead of 3,3,3,3,3 if that's what you mean.
-True, slowness increases signal/attention... fidelity
-Yup, breaking the pattern like a "beat-drop" creates a vacuum/gap (restrain -> contrast -> vacuum). Lol, I can't believe I forgot to add that part.
-Ah, nice man true. There are so many wrinkles a person can add to this to differentiate and inter-play the contrasting feels. Any more like that you can think of or elaborate on would be cool. Hidden vs Not, Weak vs Strong, Flow vs Gap, Pleasure vs Pain, etc. so many contrasts that really shine once you combine and layer them together. Often times a paradox only seems that way, because a person is looking to choose one over the other, rather than combine them.

(Ijji)
Sorry for delay! Had a micro flu or something.

Defining a sacred taboo zone, and then TIPTOEING ON THE BORDER of that zone, is another way of verbalizing this in my opinion!
You can define the zone to be anything you want. Even something like all her skin! Its all about that border tiptoeing, conveying to her where a 'barrier' has been met.
The 'magic' happens when she starts to physically sense that barrier (something the brain does automatically, creating a slight sensory input for things it knows MUST be there, based on the sum of other inputs.)

In terms of telling a story, what comes next is that you dont just cross that border. You make an EVENT out of it.

I want to talk about how tempo and vector are the main signals for all this, but Im very sleepy now.

(Me)
Yea, that sacred taboo zone is another example of an Edge. Playing with the degrees between social propriety and taboo is a great way to be provocative and seen as having an edge without having to dip into black triangle traits (those traits are the extra stuff that shroud how to do provocative right. People get distracted by those traits cause not too many know how to be provocative with the attractiveness they naturally have). Playing with the edges of social propriety/taboo, like when it comes to proximity for instance, and of course touch and grip, and many other things... it's super dynamic.

Another edge is Mystery. How much you will or won't tell about yourself, or places you will or won't allow a person, whether we're talking about a place inside yourself, or a place in your house for instance... if it's tantalizing, people will want to know what's around that bend that their being restrained from seeing.

The "make an event out of it" is where I start thinking about IMPACT/Penetration. The level of Impact of that crossing of the border plays a big part in the level of impression or degree of internalization a person has of the experience (this is a wide topic however and for it's range to include an indelible impression on a person's memory the level of meaning involved with the Impact Event must also be considered). I feel like in a lot of ways... Sex is a vehicle for Imprinting or creating an Internalization in another person. From biologically speaking as far as having a baby, to emotional bonding, and other things like affecting the chemistry of pleasure between you and another person.

Anyways, one thing I want to talk about is Restraint. I feel like Restraint is one of the key facets in tempo (degree of restraint plays a key part in what slows something down or creates a gap. It creates a space for more things to fill, which is why slowing down increases the coherency and richness of an experience... more space allows for more diversity and greater diversity enriches an experience if they connect and inter-relate in a stimulating way).

But, also Restraint, is one of the key facets of Dominance.

Restraint has an internal and an external facet, as well as edges of provocation. Self-restraint is it's internal manifestation of course and it's edge of provocation is the edge of change between self-restraint and suppression. In other words you want to lightly restrain yourself with sort of "soft" hands/strong base, rather than hold on too tightly and suppress yourself. Working on lightly restraining yourself at all times on all things is actually a really great way to learn where you hold yourself too tightly and where you let go too loosely, causing diffusion (cumming too early is an example of diffusion). So the internal spectrum is Diffusion <---> Restraint <---> Suppression and the sweet spot is playing along that middle ground or balance point and it's edges of provocation that are the tipping points into diffusion and suppression. Cutting loose... but not too much and buckling down... but not too much.

It's pretty much the same with it's external manifestation. Too much external restraint is Oppressive and too little is... something... Formlessness? Lacking Leadership? So it could look like Formlessness <---> Restraint <---> Oppression. Even a hug for instance has an element of external restraint, as does a handshake, all the way to things like choking during sex or bondage type stuff. And it's not just about grip, but weight and pressure, like the pleasure a woman feels with the weight of her man on top of her (unless it's too heavy and becomes oppressive) but also the heaviness of a woman's breasts and how that can be attractive or not and how it signals things.

So yea... Restraint is a much more deeper topic than people might realize, especially once they get past all the emotional hype or whatever that gets bundles up with the word Dominance.

I use it on the dance floor to create muscle tension pleasures... what you call Body Syrup I think. Dancing slower than the music would initially have me do if I lacked self-restraint so the energy in my body doesn't diffuse, but instead builds creating that pleasurable tension that feels great on the inside and contrasts in an attractive way to those viewing me from the outside.

Oh and another thing regarding barriers... did you know that there are certain feelings that only arise when there is a resistance to something? Just like there are only certain feelings that arise when you are risking something or being vulnerable?

(Ijji)
i promised a post about first touch vs my non escalation mantra. the edge concept here, could really help me explain it better. ill sleep on it though, cos its hard to explain, but will try.

EDit: Transition from no to touch, is best done in a strong cause-effect chain. Like saying her jacket looks really soft.

A more 'meaningful' touch should build up as an edge, before happening. This is what is meant by "Escalate the vibe, not the physical actions."

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How to have a "Mona Lisa" Style Smile or Hidden Smile

In my experience this manifests from containment and having things built within that containment.

When a man's created things for himself, a way of understanding and viewing the world, lines of directions from varied pursuits, he knows what it's like to see and feel things that have personal meaning, primarily just for him.

So you know what it's like to share a moment for yourself. You walk by and see a girl flash a bit of femininity that sparks a memory of past intimacy and you "hidden smile" to yourself and glow a bit.

People can sometimes feel when a person is sharing something worthwhile with themselves and especially if it's somewhat related to them, they'll be curious and "want in" or be attracted to sharing in that feeling as well.

It happens with my girl often. I'll look up from working on something and see her being all cute and adorable and smile to myself, and it'll catch her attention and she'll come "peek-in" or nuzzle up to me and we'll love on each other. It's awesome.

It happens all the time with normal girls too, because I've got a lot going on inside me and sometimes the cool things I'm feeling or contemplating "leak out" and catch their attention.

It's a small thing though. A little bit of sharing and minor captivation, I guess.

(And add-on for the same topic by my friend Cosy [there is no one in the world who understands sexual tension like him. He writes articles and books himself as well http://www.girlschase.com/content/make-her-feel-woman

Depends on the guy
For example,
Some shy guys have a wry smile naturally but its not the same
And some bold guys do a cheek lift and it has the right kind of effect

To develop is best like Sal said, inner nostalgia, and a sensing of something nice
You could practice while savoring a coffee or anything nice, like while reading, or watching a comedy
That kinda stuff
Cats do it a looooot

Edited June 7, 2016 by Salaam

[Fitness Model]

23 hours ago, Salaam said:

 

And also, just call me Salaam or David, the master stuff is for the bedroom we're equals here.

@Salaam loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollll, you cracked me up bad David

I read this piece of art 3 times, I loooove it, but I strongly believe that theres a pre-requirement for this art that you are presenting.

almost like seduction 102, I must take seduction 101 to really digest this. 

a lot of the concepts you and this other gentleman speak about are foreign to me.

I read the art of seduction by Robert Greene 10 years ago, but he never came across these concepts.

I definitely believe in creating tension and anticipation and those worked amazingly in the past on the guys I use to date and secretly use as hamsters to test the techniques Greene talks about.

so, what book or forum do you recommend for me as a beginner to actually understand this advanced piece?

but I love your description of seduction being a story.

are you sure your not a poet or an author?

[Denis]

@Fitness Model To begin with I would recommend a vibrating cock ring, it is very enjoyable for both especially if you like to be on top.  They also have little vibrators which you can use on many parts of your body but he would have to use it on you and you can use it on him as well.

As to the second question I actually find my girlfriend very attractive all the time.  This isn't just a physical thing though, I feel you are very focused on that having read most of the replies.  Sexual attraction is so much more than the physical.  We have great communication and we truly respect one another, we sometimes talk for hours about all kinds of topics, we go on adventures together, we are vulnerable with each other.   All those things contribute to the person overall.   What we essentially fall in love with is not the physical person but the essence of who that person truly is and this is kind of a knowing that you have in your heart.  When two people meet at first and than they like each other they become very lustful towards each other.  During that lustful period we fall in love with the concept of who we think our partner is but not who they really are.  It is only after that initial period passes (and for some people it can last more than a year) that we can truly start to get to know this person.  A lot of people misrepresent themselves early on in the relationship because they want to win over the other person but you can't keep acting forever, eventually their true personality will show itself and sometimes its not good but sometimes its even better than role they were playing up to that point.  So you see when you truly fall in you are not focused on the shallow physical aspects (I am not judging you here) because they will pass if not now than in 10 or 20 years but that true love will still remain.  So for me not to find my girlfriend attractive she would have to become a completely different person than who she is now and at that point the relationship would probably be over, but that is not reality lol.  Also I noticed you said your husband is from former Yugoslavia, I am from there as well actually.  Males in that society have very strong egos and many do not view their wives as equals but rather beneath them.  I am sure his male ego is very strong but it is a nut that can be cracked.  Also as far as checking out other girls Leo has a great video on male and female psychology which I recommend you watch, it will shed some light on that.   I thinks its two different videos but they are great, it will help you understand yourself better and us males and the way we think.  Also having read all the other replies it actually sounds like your husband is the one having issues(in the bedroom) and not you, he is just projecting them onto you.  He is kind of crying out for help by acting he way he does.  This is an issue he will have to address otherwise it will stay with for the rest of his life weather you two are together or not in the future.

[Saarah]

@Salaam I think it's time you compiled it all into an ebook  lol! 

[Salaam]

On 6/8/2016 at 0:12 PM, Fitness Model said:

@Salaam loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollll, you cracked me up bad David

I read this piece of art 3 times, I loooove it, but I strongly believe that theres a pre-requirement for this art that you are presenting.

almost like seduction 102, I must take seduction 101 to really digest this. 

a lot of the concepts you and this other gentleman speak about are foreign to me.

I read the art of seduction by Robert Greene 10 years ago, but he never came across these concepts.

I definitely believe in creating tension and anticipation and those worked amazingly in the past on the guys I use to date and secretly use as hamsters to test the techniques Greene talks about.

so, what book or forum do you recommend for me as a beginner to actually understand this advanced piece?

but I love your description of seduction being a story.

are you sure your not a poet or an author?

I feel you

I am a poet and an author actually and a lot of other things. I've got a journal on here if you ever want to read more of my personal writings.

Did you check that one link I sent you to the website girls chase? That article is written by a good friend of mine, who I feel I can safely say is the leading authority in the world on sexual tension. That article in particular I thought would be good for you to read, because I wanted you to have a clearer contrast of what a healthy man interacting with a woman looks like. Your husband kind of has like... sexual diabetes and it can be hard judging your progress in seduction when your feedback comes from such an unhealthy person. Also, scroll through some of his other articles and check out whatever floats your boat. Another good guy on there Is Alek Rolstad.

http://www.girlschase.com/articles/cody-lyans

He's also written a book... it's the kind of book that makes you think about what attraction truly is. It's a book I often go back to reread and pick up new things with.
https://www.amazon.com/What-We-Find-Attractive-Seduction/dp/3942017016?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Another book you might like is Arden Leighs... I don't have any opinion on it (never read it), but you might find it useful.
https://www.amazon.com/New-Rules-Attraction-Keep-Make/dp/1402266529?ie=UTF8&tag=vglnkc2583-20

Here's a post my friend wrote actually on helping female pua's. Maybe it might resonate with you...

The best advice I can give to women for now is three pillars
- slow down, don't give in, think long term, focus on your process and developing thoughts (never take your first conclusions at face value)
- develop GAP management (gap refers to unwanted gaps in fulfillment of their desires), do not simply try to CLOSE those gaps, or deny their existance, slowly start to become conscious of them and present with them, and never OVER "fix" it, because it leads to destructive cyclical thoughts and actions
- sensual expansion, NOT sexual expansion, with a focus on skepticism

Some rudimentary examples include (respectively)
- instead of following social programming, be AUTHENTIC and aim for wisdom to be included in your progress
- don't think marriage solves all, or that "sexual contracts" are enough to address issues
- focusing on a style or image (through passions, interests and intellectual development, and understanding of male psychology without intending to be egotistical/exploitative/"an angel")

Most girls have an opinion on those that I dare say is WRONG
Mostly because they retreat from the core point of contention, and only scratch around on some surface layers where they feel it is personally relevant to their life situation

There is no deeper investigation taking place
No substantial strategy towards change
And often, they are so mired and overwhelmed by doubts and emotions that its truly UNIQUELY difficult for them to progress

Womens issues, require emotional evolution, or management that is different to guys, and I fear, it leads to corruption in most cases!!!
Most women, by my estimate will hit an emotional "choke point"
Which causes them to bitterly cut off from further efforts

The same issue exists with men, but due to the emotions, the issues are EMOTIONAL, in nature

A man, trying to figure out the pradigm emotional shift for women...
Is next to impossible, considering that we are never exposed to that emotional state.
 

22 hours ago, Saarah said:

@Salaam I think it's time you compiled it all into an ebook  lol! 

Thanks Saarah I'm writing a book now, like I mentioned in the other thread. My wife and I plan on writing a book about relationships together one day. I've never really though of writing a book on seduction though...

[CalamityJane]

On June 2, 2016 at 4:58 PM, Salaam said:

@Fitness Model

How long have you two been married?

My Wife and I have been married for over 4 years now and the sex is more soul and mind blowing than ever before.

The key for us has been maintaining and building Sexual Tension, plus continuing to grow sexually together. Seduction is a passion of mine, it's communication, and dancing with emotion and sensation. My wife often says that I seduce her everyday and she returns that seductive energy in kind.

Captivating attention, drawing out feelings and holding them till the thirst becomes over-whelming. Sex is not just a pleasure to drink from, it needs to be given time to build, it is a part of our identity and has both pains and pleasures around it. It is as much about self-restraint as it is about passion, and more about self-expression and adding personality then mechanical release.

Anyways, without proper seduction you lose tension, which means you lose detail that your and his emotions respond to, and less feeling means more autopilot/habitual behavior, leading to boredom and the killing of anticipation.

First-taste novelty and infatuation will only go so far and the comfort found in a relationship is not enough to sustain richness alone. In fact, comfort can lead to even more degradation of tension and an auto-pilot relationship, slowly draining of color. We have to protect the sexual sides of our nature from the habitual normalcy of life, it is a slippery slope that must be balanced, so our partners are both our confidants and lovers.

But, it's not just about protecting that side, it's about fostering it, growing it, adding depth.

I still haven't touched the bottom or seen all the sides of my wife's sexuality, nor experienced the very bottom of my own. Our sex just explodes into new heights as we grow and process who we are as people. It's amazing and blows my mind when I see all the more sex can really be. That mystery or unknown, protects the anticipation we have, fuels it, so our bodies ache for each other and our emotions leap into fires at the touch, because we've built these sexual patterns, over and over again together, for the course of our relationship.

Also, for your guy, does he watch a lot of porn or masturbate often? Compared to the sex I know, porn fucking suuuucks and what's more is it desensitizes you to all the details that go on when your in the presence of your woman. The pixelated visual stimulation on a tv screen or whatever can't compare to all the energies being exchanged and most of all the tension that occurs when in real life. Plus, it reinforces the frame of mind that sex is about release and not about personal expression. There is no undulating and arching of bodies, the sharing of breath, the dominance and shared primal sexual deliciousness... it's a waste of sexual energy in my opinion and something to look into. Personally, I try not to even masturbate and prefer to hold that sexual ache and share it with my wife.

A man should have dominance over his sexual urges and nature. So it is a part of him that washes over and surges around him, like waves from the ocean... at least that's how it feels within me. A slow burn, that you feel in your bones and draw from, so it shines in your eyes and smile.
 

Umm..dang it- time for a cold shower. I'm copying this to let my future boyfriend read!

[Ike Carter]

welp, now i see some things i can expect years into marriage haha.