My mother and my emotional stability

[Annoynymous]

I don't know whether this post belongs to this sub-forum or not but i am gonna post it here anyway.

My mother remains sick most of the time. This is what i have seen from my early childhood. She is 56 years old and so far have gone through 4 surgeries.

She's been admitted to hospital more than 10-15 times since i was a little kid.

For last 1-1.5 years, things are getting worse. She's very sick due to several problem and has been admitted to hospital for 5-6 times and even went to abroad for treatment.

In this period, i used to live near my university,away from home and used to come home in weekends. For last three months, i have been living in home with my parents as my graduation is completed.

Problem is that not a day goes by when i hear she is not sick. Even after waking up to before going to bed, this has been the case. Everyday she complains that she is not feeling well and she has this problem and that problem and so on. 

It affects me mentally and emotionally. I feel drained and gloomy. It is not a healthy thing and the family environment like this is definately not healthy.

I am not saying that this is somehow her fault. I do love her. But at the same these constant gloomy situation keeps me depressed,anxious and worried all the time.

What to do about it? Any suggestion is welcomed

Edited November 2, 2019 by Annoynymous

[Annoynymous]

@ivankiss thank you for your generous and kind suggestions brother

[Nickyy]

@Annoynymous Youre resisting the situation. You're not aware of this, but this is whats happening.

Become aware of how your preferences of health over sickness has become an attachment and you're keeping it there because its now become part of your sense of self.

If you make this conscious, you can disidentify from it.

In spiritual life the aim is to become non attached to circumstances. Not indifferent so that you feel nothing, but you want to be at a point where you can take it or leave it. Enjoying it for what it is, and feeling sorry for losses but not letting it take you over 

Nothing should take you over in a positive sense or a negative sense. 

You should be receptive to the present moment and what it contains. That means being here and now. If you're still thinking about mum here and now then you're fixated. Which is not liberation.