Humping my cousins butt at early age, grandmother catches me doing it

[Strangeloop]

So I remember this when I was a child very clearly, I even fell of the bed when the grannie opened the door it's scared the shit out of me.

I've been thinking on how that could've affected my sexuality and forward relationships in life especially sexual.

one time I went camping with two girls just a three of us, and this one girl was flirting with me, getting on my side while I was laying and telling me to lay on my back and I stupid me declined... I felt like it was something wrong with it

now later that night with the same girl we were laying together next to each othe it was cold so I started getting closer to her boobs touching her etc. I started rubbing her vagina through her panties and humping her as well. She didnt touch my dick though even when I moved my hand towards it she pulled her arm away from it.

now later we continued I came she came and that's it for that part. What happened next is that I decided to lay away from her and slept through the night.

Then the next morning we were going back home and I was running away from her with guilt that I did something wrong last night, we splitted off and I walked alone the rest of the way home.

any thoughts?

[Dlavjr]

I mean, I've talked to a lot of people that have had bizarre childhood sexual experiences like that, some even worse than that, and they turned out fine minus some of them having trauma depending on the situation. With anything like that though, it all depends on how much you think about it and associate yourself with the memory. You were a kid, kids do some weird shit sometimes, sometimes exploration gets way out of control and you don't know any better. In my opinion, and I know it's easier said than done, but don't hold on to stuff like that, cause it's only gonna fuck you up as long as you allow it to.