Knock

Today on Actualized.org

8 posts in this topic

This journal will be more of a daily log of what I have read and learnt when browsing the forum. Sorry I am not interested in having discussions here, but if you wish to input some knowledge or raise a question to what I have said, feel free to PM me 😊 (note, if you do post on here, I will not respond, so please don’t take offence 😊).

I will also be finishing my journal entries with 3 Gratitude's, as a means of cultivating contentment and perspective in my privileged life ^_^  

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19/07/2019

Today I spent 2hrs reading over a number of threads, specifically the morality of sexuality in the Self Actualisation board. Initially I enjoyed the conversation, but on later pages it seemed to be hijacked and went off topic.

Looked at the Radical Honesty thread. Topic seems to be going on about paedophiles and OCD.

Next topic was Unspirituality. Most posts were emotionally vested in reinstating ones own beliefs, rather than learning or having respectful conversation. One of the mods saw through this and gave a simple and thoughtful response, which I liked to see.

A newbie created a post ‘how to sort myself out’. Most answers were kind hearted, however it was evident it is difficult to give advice when no there is no real context to apply it to.

I then moved into the Dating board. I started reading the ‘why do I repel girls’ thread. I wanted to simply say “because you don’t contribute value in their eyes”, but it seems that the conversation had already taken another path, and such an answer would be inappropriate.

Moving over into the Meditation board, there were many new topics to view. I don’t often visit this board as I find it’s not very practical in my life currently (Spiritual philosophy just goes straight over my head 😊). There was a great report on cold showers though, which I enjoyed reading.

Overall I learnt that if you are to make a discussion, make sure you provide the proper context so people know how to address your questions. I also learnt that after the first page or 2, most discussions derail and it might not be worthwhile revisiting them.

3 Gratitude’s for the day:

-          I am grateful that it is now the weekend

-          I am grateful that I have somehow avoided the flu which is going around the office

-          I am grateful that I got to catch up with my friend last night

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20/07/2019 – 26/07/2019

This entry is going to be covering most of the week, as I haven’t really had time to write in my journal.

Over the week, I have peeked into the forum every now and then for 10-15 minutes every here and there. I would say I spent about 2hrs in total browsing the forum over the week.

The standout threads to me were the question of video vs books to consume content. This is an area I have researched a bit in, and can say with 100% confidence that books are of higher quality content and should be the #1 area to look to if you want to deeply know a topic. However, videos do have a wider appeal and can be great in introducing new facets of ideas and concepts, so they have their own niche value too.

Most of the content I skimmed through this week is forgettable, for the very fact that I cant recall anything resonating with me or anything memorable that I can write about now. I do recall seeing a few posts by ‘Angelo’ (hope he doesn’t mind being mentioned here), that I really enjoyed reading and felt had a lot of practical value.

There were a number of posts about grand life plans, some good, some not so good. Personally, this never works for me. Talking about doing something before doing it (especially to people you don’t really know or care about) dissipates all the energy you had inside to actually take action. Actions speak louder than words. It’s called Show & Tell, not tell then show. However I do understand questioning about certain careers to get a bigger picture of what the reality entails.

There was one posted that I loved about giving gratitude to this forum. This post was very touching and the responses were very respectful and empathetic. This post had the biggest impact on me this week, bringing me into a positive and loving state immediately after.

What I learned overall this week is not to be so hard on yourself, and you can never predict the future, so learn to let the imagination go and be content that your life is already amazing as it is happening before you.

My 3 gratitudes:

·         I am grateful for my healthly body and mind

·         I am grateful to my parents for a wonderful upbringing

·         I am grateful for my sibling being such an inspiration, getting a new job that they love and continuing to enrich those around them.

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Actualised last week 29/07/2019 – 02/07-2019

Over the past week, I have been able to spend a significant amount of time on the forums I would estimate around somewhere around 10-12 hours over the past 4 days. I have also been commenting a bit more than usual, as there have been a number of topics of particular interest that have arise over the week.

Of particular interest, there was a post on lacking direction and ambition. Seeing this as a period that I once had gone through, I decided to write a lengthy post on the pragmatic advice that had helped me. It was great to see others posting encouraging advice and I feel most were lacking practicality. Either way, I hope that the OP and others reading got value out of reading my post as it did take some time to type up 😊

I started a thread on the fitness subforum about my struggles with Hatha Yoga, however I was disappointed with the lack of responses. I had thought that most people here would of done yoga before and could share their experiences or insights on how to help me (and others reading) on how to get over the initial troubles of working on the poses. I am grateful however for the 1 response, and it pointed to flexibility that might be the issue, which I think might be the problem.

I stumbled across a great response to a thread about inauthenticity when trying out new behaviours. One of the responders gracefully pointed out a fact that I have overlooked when contemplating this question, which is the fact that, what is your true self, but another identity that you have attached too. This brought me towards a new perspective on authenticity. Can changing something that was never authentic in the first place, be inauthentic?

Next I came across a video on Richard Feynman, inquiring the motive behind asking ‘why’ to questions. It reminded me of always asking ‘why’ an innumerable number of times to my parents about the ways things are, an experience I am sure many of us share. Feynman’s response was interesting, as it opened up the idea of preconceived common beliefs that are essential to give context to any ‘why’ answers, or else the point gets fundamentally missed or caught up in overwhelming array of other concepts.  

Lastly I delved into the Relationships/sexuality subforum, which is often very polarising with all the different beliefs people have about relationships. The post that caught my attention in particular was one asking if romantic relationships are dead. Now, I know the title was purposely made to be provocative, but long term relationship advice doesn’t get much love around here. The first responder made a great point, noting that short term relationship advice is easier to sell, hence why much of the focus in the area is on the initial attraction and pickup techniques, implying that is what dating is mostly about.

 I felt compelled to add the point that the reality of dating is very different from what you see on the internet. Just like how porn doesn’t depict real sex, or commercial news doesn’t depict whats actually happening in the world, most topics  on the internet about ‘what girls are like’ is so far removed from actuality that it creates so many false beliefs that further lead men astray in the dating world.

 I am actually quite passionate about this, as I have seen an internet obsessed friend (my old roommate) become so deluded from reading crazy beliefs and conspiracy theories on the internet, that their behaviour started isolating themselves from society, creating a downward spiral, that they are still stuck in to this day (even 2 years later). What is worse, is that they continually consume the same radical ideas from their internet echo chamber, that they are convinced that everyone else (99.99% of society) is wrong and hence won’t accept any help, despite their social, mental, financial (they quit working) and physical health decline. It breaks my heart to see such a troubled soul, that has so much potential, give up all the good in their life, for some radical belief that is fuelled on hatred and fear.

But enough about that, time for this weeks 3 gratiudes:

1.       I am grateful that my parents get to go overseas for 7 weeks to enjoy their well earnt retirement

2.       I am grateful for having the time to read all the insightful posts on Actualised.org this week

3.       I am grateful for being able to witness a beautiful sunset this afternoon.

 

 

 

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Update 29/08/19

Unfortunately, this journal has fallen down the priority list.

When I was thinking about this earlier today, I realised that writing long form journals is simply too time consuming and just doesn’t seem important in comparison to other things I use my time for.

Hence, I have decided to re-form this journal into a shorter form, in a effort to make it consistent, but easy. New form:

Time spent on actualised.org:

-          Morning = x minutes

-          Day = x minutes

-          Night = x minutes

Life changing ideas/topics read:

-          Insert idea here/ or / Nothing to report on

3 Gratitude’s for the day:

-          1.

-          2.

-          3.

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Time spent on actualised.org:

-          M = 30 min

-          D = 30 min

-          N = 40 min

Life changing ideas/topics read:

-          Starting a business is like taking care of a baby. It takes a long time before you will see results and it can start to walk on its own 2 feet. Don't expect quick results early on. Keep putting out value and trust the universe will reward you in time. Running a business is more about who you become through the process, than the money that you will eventually receive. 

3 Gratitude’s for the day:

-          1. I am grateful for having a great boss that is willing to invest the time in me to learn and grow in my development.

-          2. I am grateful for my brother opening up recently and being able to have deeper connection in our conversations.

-          3. I am grateful for the modern invention of the internet and all the abundance and opportunity it brings. 

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Actualised update:

- So it has been a week since my last update. I have gotten my priorities misaligned to do what I know is important! Need to spend more time in Quadrant 2 xD

Weekend of 30/08/2019 to 01/09/2019

Time spent on actualised.org:

-          M = 4hrs

-          D = 2hrs

-          N = 0hrs

Life changing ideas/topics read:

-          Nothing concrete comes to mind. Not sure where, but I contemplated a lot about various financial schemes, business opportunities, and ‘lifestyle design’. However researching into this, it seems like my financial ideas only will work under niche circumstances that are largely unfeasible for me currently. There is no such thing as a free-lunch/ get rich quick scheme and all that :( 

 

02/09/2019

Time spent on actualised.org:

-          M = 30min

-          D = 30min

-          N = 0min

Life changing ideas/topics read:

-       Nothing to report on

 

03/09/2019

Time spent on actualised.org:

-          M = 0min

-          D = 30min

-          N = 0min

Life changing ideas/topics read:

-       Nothing to report on

 

04/09/2019

Time spent on actualised.org:

-          M = 15min

-          D = 30min

-          N = 20min

Life changing ideas/topics read:

-       I was contemplating what manipulation is, and came to the conclusion that everything we do is a manipulation. I manipulate my body in how I move, I manipulate the weights when I am at the gym, I manipulate the car when I drive. I even manipulate people with my gestures, such as holding my hand up to stop traffic or waving to someone leaving them to wave back. I manipulate conversations by the questions I ask.

-       Consciously or not, we are always manipulating. But this is not a bad thing. It is merely a means to navigate yourself and your desires within the world. I can manipulate people into feeling good about themselves, by giving them compliments. I can manipulate people in feeling empowered by assisting them solves problems.

-       Conversely, I can manipulate others in devilish ways, to do things that benefit me to the detriment of others. E.g. I can neg a woman to undermine her confidence, so as to increase her need of approval.

-       Looking to explore this idea further, I raised the question on the forum. I have to say I was a little disappointed with the lack of response. Perhaps I should of given more context and examples in my answer, as it was lacking emotional charge and came off dry and purely intellectual.

 

05/09/2019

Time spent on actualised.org:

-          M = 10min

-          D = 25min

-          N = 1hr 45min

Life changing ideas/topics read:

-       Not one topic stood out. However I have seen a number of threads popping up of people stuck in victim mentality. I think this is a very fundamental topic to address, as I recognise how much my victim mentality and limiting beliefs had held me back in the past. I will write a topic on this in time to hopefully appeal to those who may be stuck in the fixed mindset/ limiting beliefs / victim mentality, as I believe the 3 neurosis are of the same family.  

 

3 Gratitude’s for the week:

-          1. I am grateful for having a job I enjoy allowing me financial freedom

-          2. I am grateful for being exposed to personal development that helped me get out of my self-victimisation mindset.

-          3. I am grateful for being injury-free this year at the gym

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