5-MeO-DMT Sub-Breaktrough Trip report

[Igor82]

I can't really say that this is "sub-breakthrough" as I yet have no clue how deep the hole goes, but this was definitely more powerful than my previous Medium doses.

• The night before:
• I had a critical insight after snorting 15mg's of 5-MeO (due to a calling from the higher self) the night before and it was that I am much more ready for 5-MeO than I would initially think. How prepared you are for a psychedelic is always something you feel in the now, whether it is a concept or a physical/emotional sensation.
• But realize that your readiness for the substance does not reside within a concept! Its a feeling, it's a calling, but not an idea like: (oh, im ready for 5-MeO now because I have been tripping on mushrooms 3 times now and have meditated for 3 months until now). You must have the calling at the moment, and that comes from your heart, its an emotional thing, and that is the best preparation you can have at any moment.

 

• ROA, Plugging:
• Let me elaborate a bit on how I administered the substance. I have done some research and I stumbled upon this article which presented a new way of plugging, and after I bought some lube and practiced ways to make the administration more efficient, I felt ready again to plug:
• I ground up the oxalate salt, weighted out 30mg, poured that into a spoon, added .6 ml of water, heated the spoon with a lighter, mixed well, added water-based lube and sucked up the solution into a needle-less 1ml syringe with tape wrapped around the half of its length. Then I stood up, dipped the syringe in the lube and plugged the syringe, I squirted in the substance over a span of 7 seconds with my anus completely relaxed and after that, I went on to sit on the couch. I had no expectations for this dose, and I didn't know what was going to happen. The administration method was new, but the dose was far less than what I have taken before to achieve a medium dose.

 

• The trip: 
• After 5-10 minutes of waiting with my eyes closed and with an open relaxed posture in symmetry on my couch, I noticed the familiar dark thoughts appearing, shortly thereafter as I surrendered I felt my awareness rising, and with that came an odd sensation of my sense of self getting distorted; imagine sitting in your asana and suddenly the physical sensations of your body starts wobbling, like the way you conceive the shape of your body at that moment, rapidly changes. For me, the sensations of my body started changing its location, my body became much smaller or much wider, it started morphing and shifting in size and shape. Along with this came certain thoughts, depicting how the body looked like at that moment, and these thoughts showed how my body was morphing and how my sense of self was shrinking, like the thought of "me" (my self-image) being morphed just like the sensation of my body, getting smaller and smaller, its hard to describe how the thoughts were depicting this.
• The body started becoming more insignificant, almost like it shrunk from the size of the original body into the size of a pea, and then this aura of awareness started permeating where the body before taking place, like how my body shrinks to 1% of its size and then awareness comes along and permeates the other 99% of the space that was previously occupied by the sense of self. As this started to happen my heart started racing vigorously. I started breathing heavily and I tried my best to surrender.
• In that moment I could see how one could cling on to their sense of self while it was shrinking like this, by projecting the observer into the shrinking little body, trying to expand it again and resist the death of it, resisting the experience, at that moment I especially chose to surrender completely into the experience instead of trying to cling.
• Fear started arising, fear of death, fear of losing control, fear of the unknown, but also along with some excitement; if I just could keep surrendering I would know the truth! I was also able to successfully summon love in that moment of fear, which helped me to surrender the clinging. But the experience, unfortunately, didn't get deeper than this.
• After a short while, the normal sense of the body was regained and the fear and breathing stopped. I was just left with this marvelous awareness, this calmness that spawned a large amount of love and playfulness, and with that, I got out of the couch to play some piano and I immediately went into the flow falling in love with it. The love I felt for that selfless playing was unlike anything before. Then I also spend 20 minutes adoring myself in the mirror, making out with the mirror, enjoying being aware of how beautiful the body is. That moment felt completely authentic as if I would not think twice about licking the mirror. The awareness subsided about an hour after the fear subsided, and I was back at normal about 1h and 15 minutes after administration.

 

• Insight: 
• Awareness is the most worthwhile "thing" to pursue. It's paramount to become aware of yourself! Of the body, of your neuroticism, of your purpose, of your needs and wants, of your economy, of your self-deceptions and lies, of the beauty of reality, of the true Self, etc. Awareness is the essence of all these things! And you can't really be happy without awareness. In a moment during the trip, I could clearly see the importance of raising consciousness.

Next time I have the calling I will administer 36mg's the same way as I did now. I can see where this is going, the sense of self will get blasted into a million pieces or something like that. As a wise man once said: "You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow."

Edited March 16, 2019 by Igor82
Fortgot to hyperlink the article

[outlandish]

Nice report @Igor82 !!