Cocolove

Weekend 'retreat' report

3 posts in this topic

I want to be able to do a 10 day vipassana this summer, so I'm working my way up. Two days ago (friday) I realized I had a pretty free weekend, and decided to go for it. I still had about 8 hours of homework, just one of the cult like qualities of our pathologically orange education system im only half kidding .

Friday I did Kriya in the morning before school, and did 2x 1 hour vipassanesque self inquiry sits.

Saturday and Sunday I did my daily 1 hour kriya, and then 4x 1 hour sits, so a total of 12 hours from when I got home to now, sunday afternoon. I always do kriya at 6  am soon after I wake up, and did my 4 sits at 730, 10, 1230, and 3, with a little leeway. 

It was hard, but not that hard. I did almost SDS style sits for all of them except the very last one sunday, just a bit ago. I got really bad ass pain and sat on the floor then went back to my seat. Right now and today I have felt very restless. It is very very challenging to sit for even 2 minutes without getting up all ancy, opening my eyes or thinking a lot.  I feel very uncomfortable in my own skin, and also feel a deep sense of emptiness, not the good kind. I was expecting this because 1. I've done this once before(3 sits /day + kriya for 3 days). and 2. I've read about it appears to be 3 characteristics stage from MCTB2.

Overall I learned I need to do this more, or the 10 day retreat will be impossible. Or that's just mEgo making a big deal out of it to scare myself.

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Many people go to the 10 day retreats with no training or former practice at all. It'll be intense either way, but the first 3 days are the hardest and at the retreats, you have no possible distractions and the energy there is quite peaceful.

Your ego is definitely making a big deal out of it, but I still think that mini-retreats are awesome and I want to do more myself

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Vipassana retreats are so smooth, you can easily go on a retreat without preparation. Many "normies" who don't meditate at all complete them successfully.

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