Marinus

A colorful journey

54 posts in this topic

So it has been awhile since I wrote a journal. In this journal I will post my progress in life as much as I can.  I have decide to embody my lower stages. Currently I'm mainly green, a little bit of yellow thinking and some orange desires. I love spiral dynamics and understanding people through models. So to represent my  colors:

stage orange green yellow.jpg

In reality orange is a little bit more and a lot less yellow. I think life is a precious gift in all forms, life scares me, life keeps me breathing, life gives me joy and lives are beautiful. Life means all creatures. As you might expect I live vegetarian (currently pescatarian, but I'l cover this later). This journal will be about my lives journey, my focus will be on embodying stage orange completely and living my suppressed orange desires until I'm ready to transcend this stage.  I feel like a broken person and if I skip stage orange, I will remain broken.

I will give myself at least 1 1/2 years to embody stage orange. Currently I live in a student apartment in Antwerp. I have a financial problem, I have no income. I have a student loan. My mother can't afford paying my college, daily living, etc. my father can, but he won't. My mother however tries everything in her power to help me and I'm very grateful for this. I have a messed up history with my parents thanks to their divorce, so financial problems is one of the results. This is a reason why I might not be able to transcend stage orange until I can make my own income.

I worry about money, but I know that it won't be a problem in the future, I will get a job. I also have a diploma in maintenance this serves as a backup. 


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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I'm going to start forming habits again. The time between my last journal and this one is the period in which I got a girlfriend, my life took a very different turn when I got into a relationship. I learned a lot from the previous year with her. I had no previous relationship so it was an unknown domain that I entered. Despite not doing much self actualization work I learned so much about relationships and sexuality. Unfortunately I had to break up with her, but I'm grateful of  the lessons I learned in that time.

The downside of that relationship was leaving behind some useful habits. I tried to form habits in that time and some did stick for a long time, like planking. Other habits I still have to this day like cold showers. I made the promise to get my body under cold water every time I take a shower since somewhere in 2017.  Until this day I lived up to it more or less.

Other habits I practice since I started this journey of self discovery:

Old habit streaks.PNG

Credits to @Shroomdoctor his layout design for habit streaks which I based mine of.

At the moment I stay at my mothers house, because I have vacation. I finished my exams the previous week. 28 January I'l be back in my student room in Belgium. When I'm back I'll start with my new habits:

Habit streaks.PNG

As you can see I already completed some habits. My cold shower routine I won't keep track of, because I don't shower everyday. Meditation Is my strongest habit thanks to my inspiration Leo Gura and of course myself. 


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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I have two big desires that I consider stage orange:

  1. Money
  2. Pick up

1. Money is no surprise, I have a debt and no income. Fixing this problem won't be hard, because my student loan is 100% interest free and I have 30 years to pay it back. Of course I don't want to pay for 30 years. My main goal on this subject is getting my degree, because no degree means more debt. 1/3 of my loan I'l get for free when I graduate. Fortunately one of my hidden skills is money management. I already have a big amount of money saved. I'll have 1 1/2 years to go until I have my first job. According to my teacher students whom graduate will on average get €1.650. (€ 2041) as a starter salary which is pretty nice to start with.

2. What I mean with pick up is working on attraction, dating, socializing, sex and fun. I have conflicted feelings about pick up. To be honest I really want to have sex with more girls and getting experience. The reason for is probably social conditioning, through pop culture. Dutch people are quit over sexed in their jokes and even the media. I feel like one of the weird males in society. Some characteristics I have are considered to be negative like my silent nature.  Dutch people are in my opinion mostly extroverted in their behavior.  I have strengths which often aren't visible, because I live in isolation.  I am distant, but on the contrary I'm an open book. This doesn't make sense on the surface. 

I'm very solitary and this has led to my independed skills and personality. I don't need people to survive and I think for a 22 year old (student) in this generation that is an advantage. I can do everything myself, but still I need people. I have some great friends in the Netherlands, but in Antwerp I'm very lonely. That is one of the reasons I stayed in my relationship.

Pick up gives me mixed feelings. I have a friend who is my most precious friend. We have a lot of common ground except for relationships. If I would define his relationship perspective then I would say it's blue. He thinks I'm unclean in a sexual way, because I broke up and had sex even though he knows my reasons. He thinks that people who had sex with multiple people are nasty. I haven't told him about wanting to do pick up and I don't want, but it feels wrong to hold him from this truth. Of course my family would not agree with pick up too. No one I know would think this about me. In the end it is not their business, but mine. I feel unpleasant about pick up if I look from the perspective of my friends and family. I had the balls to tell them about my porn addiction though.

On the other hand if I would pick up girls how would that affect them? I don't want to pursuit sex for my benefit or I do? It might be self-deception, but if a date would result in sex then I want to make it an awesome experience for the girl, not just emptying my load. So I came across this you tube channel: 

He talks about being honest in your intent, which I agree with. Honesty is one of my core values. With intent he means behaving in a way that you are sexually attracted to the girl and making this clear in your behavior. Not lying like asking for directions. He also talks about a model and to my surprise it reminded me about my coaching classes at college. I'm talented in coaching which could mean that doing day game like in the video will work in my favor. 

The last days I had some strong sexual energies, like a primal force when I think about sex. My no-fap journey is starting to pay off. That energy I want to channel in daygame. I have insecurities and pick up looks like it will fix my problems. This is probably not going to fix it all, but I can only know this for sure when I do pick up. Leo told in a video that fucking 1 or 2 girls wouldn't be enough to feel confident about women, which I can relate too. When I discover that pick up can only take me so far then I will have transcended another orange part into green. I promised myself that I would live a life without regrets. If I don't do this I will regret it when I'm older. Now I'm young, motivated and I want a break from relationships. So now is the time.

(any advice or opinions are welcome)


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Habits streaks of this week

Habit streaks.PNG

I want to post this every week to keep track of my progress.

Last night I got a wet dream, probably from all the pickup thoughts I had. Today I also tried to do my first pick challenge and I didn't achieve my set goal, but I did achieve the first goal. It took me 53 min., but I complimented 5 girls on their looks and it was scary to do. It felt a lot like my comfortzone challenges that I used to do, so that is a good sign that it might become easier with practise, but it's still very scary. I also met a potential wing who lives in Belgium too and he offered to help me. Next weekend I will try again and hopefully meet this potential wing. The good news is that I made a bit of progress.

Tomorrow my internship will begin so I will start my new morning routine that morning. I have estimated the time, but maybe it isn't enough to do all the things I want to do, so I will experiment this week.


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Habits streaks of  week 5

Habit streaks.PNG

I added two more:

  • You Tube videos;
  • Games.

It went pretty well. Since being back in Belgium I did my morning routine for a whole week. I woke up a little bit later in the weekend. It feels good to do this again I feel a lot better. I also got an insight: you have more time if you don't watch any TV. 

 

Day game

I also did my Day Game sessions and I met my (hopefully) new wing. It was so fun to do.

  • On Friday I approached 8 girls;
  • On Saturday 10;
  • On Sunday 5.

The goal is to approach 30-50 girls a week to make progress in my skills.

Friday I discovered that I can charge my confidence by doing comfort-zone challenges. I can feel a burning fire in my solar plexus. It radiates as a star and it feels amazing. I gave strange people high-fives and this charged me to make me ready to approach girls. I had no conversations I just said ''Hello I just want to say that I think you are very attractive/beautiful'' and after the respond I said ''have a nice day''.

Saturday I started of very anxious, I couldn't even give high-fives and this took 1 hour. So I went back to my place and my goal was to find a solution and apply it afterwards. I found this video very helpful:

I wrote down his advice in short and I tried again. I wanted to speak to 10 girls so I did. I had 2 full conversations and almost 1 contact. I had a half conversation and some little chats. Others ignored me, didn't care or I made the situation awkward, because I was stuck. I felt like a hero! I had my first Day game conversations and now it feels like a whole new social world is in my reach.

Sunday I met my wing. We talked more than that Day gamed. He gave me some feedback on my approach. Doing the front stop (which was scarred to do) and first make eye contact until I get the attention from a girl and then talk. I did no full conversations I gave the compliment and said goodbye. My wing appears to be solid orange he also has a distaste for spirituality (maybe stage green altogether) so I want to be careful about his influence. He told me he had a sex blog which I think is weird and maybe he only cares about sex. He told me that he wanted to take me to Brussels, because there are more ''high quality girls'' as he said an more girls that are alone. In Antwerp lone girls are rare, because most walk with friends, boyfriends or family. 

 

Reactions on Day game

In total I approached 28 girls and even older women. I now have experienced a variety of reactions:

  1. Ignoring/walking away;
  2. Nervous/startled;
  3. Awkward/not saying much to me;
  4. Not being interested, but thankful;
  5. Very enthusiastic and very grateful.

The first one is the worst until now. I noticed that these girls are often older (late twenties-early thirties?) or look very mature and rich. The second one I only experienced two times. One of the two was my own lack of skills that caused it. The third one is the worst in my opinion, because I get stuck. This is probably because I lack the experience and skill, but this will probably get better with time. The fourth reactions is probably, because neutral which can go both ways. Skills can help, but maybe they are not interested in me for whatever reason and this is okay. The last one gives me the most confidence and I give those girls great feelings and that makes Day game worth it.  One girl even blushed! that gave me even more confidence. These girls might be attracted to me or just very happy. I also experience this more often than expected, maybe 1/4 times up to now. 

My wing gave me the advice to use stereo types and he said that I have a beneficial situation. I'm Dutch and most girls I approach are Flemish (Antwerp is very multi cultural though). We have the same language, but not the same culture and this is useful for teasing.

For Day game I have discovered some strengths:

  • I talk very calmly and not too fast, but I also don't talk loud which is a point to work on;
  • I keep strong eye contact;
  • I smile;
  • I'm straight forward (I have seen many videos in which guys lie and ask for directions for example). This is part of Tom Torero his technique;
  • Open body language.

And of course I have many more weaknesses. Mainly approach anxiety and lack of skill.


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Habits streaks of  week 6

Habit streaks.PNG

Apparently I post my updates on Monday. I fixed something in my excel file. 

Nofap was easy this week.  Not watching entertainment goes way better then expected in total I watched maybe half an hour or less of videos for entertainment, 1 film and 3 anime episodes. Even if I watch entertainment for 1 minute I fail, but overall I'm really impressed by my discipline. 

Eating vegan is also a piece of (non dairy) cake. I still have some food from my mom like chocolate and other stuff. I also eat multi vitamin and B12. every day.

Waking up early is easy when having my internship and really hard in the weekend. My morning routine can be hard sometimes and boring, but I try to keep it interesting by doing sometimes guided meditation, different yoga postures and switching the order of those habits. The minutes are by the way an estimation, but it reflects it quite well.

 

Day game

This week was very difficult I approached 4 girls in total and I had one full conversation. The conversations went mechanical, but I came further then before in my approach. I have doubts, fears and limiting beliefs that hold me back. I really want this experience, but I feels painful to be ignored by a girl. This week I did only one high five, this can be the reason why my fears took over, because I didn't enjoyed it. Next Saturday I'll meet my wing again in a different city. I want to feel like a king, what I mean is that I want to feel so confident and proud of doing what I want without caring what other people think. It feels like I need to do more comfort-zone challenges. A guy with his channel Sacha daygame also talked about doing comfort-zone challenges before trying pick-up for the same reason. I only worry about my reputation which is currently invisible, but if I do those challenges then people will recognize me, because Antwerp is small compared to NY for example. This also might be a limiting belief.


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Habits streaks of  week 7

Habit streaks.PNG

I notice that the morning routine is easier than breaking habits. Now I enjoy watching films and series in the weekend. Normally I would watch everyday. I'm so happy that I reduced this time consuming habit. I was addicted to TV my whole life. I re-listened to Leo's spiral dynamics stage orange and green "how to transcend" part and I realized that I might be more developed then I thought. Many of the resistances of stage green I don't experience and I always try to keep an open mind.  If I keep my life in check as it is right now I might grow into yellow faster than I think. 

I talked with a friend of mine who is very keen in noticing my development. He told me that I'm pursuing enlightenment, but that I probably don't do this consciously. Maybe he is right, maybe he is wrong. What matters is that I make progress and in this very moment  I feel more in control of my life than ever before.  Since my break-up I awakened to purpose. I don't know it yet, but their are layers and layers to discover. One purpose of mine is to move up the spiral and help others to do the same. How I'm going to do this will be the external manifestation of this purpose, like a mask, a cover up for conscious development and I'm the only one who will understand what is behind that mask.

Day game

Last week I did 9 approaches in total. I have trouble to make time for it do do a lot of approaches on a day and I keep making excuses which I can't hide from myself, because I'm to aware of it. It's like being pushed in a corner, but I know that I went in the corner all by myself and being in the corner while knowing I put myself there creates a weird feeling inside me. maybe Leo his awareness is curative video can be useful for this. 

5 of those approaches I did with my wing. 1 approaches ended with changing numbers, the girl didn't respond, but I see it as an achievement anyway. I also approached men as well to strengthen my social muscle. I feel more happy in general, normally I would feel 4/10 now its like 6,5/10 which is a huge change. It feels like I nurture my soul and connection to other souls in this life.


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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I also finished one book last Saturday which has been like 10 months since the last time. Now I reread one which I almost finished in half a week. I bought some new ones too.


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Habits streaks of  week 8

Habit streaks.PNG

This weekend I'm visiting my mother and it has an effect on my morning routine. Currently the streaks of Breathing, Exercise and Games have been broken. I don't feel too bad about it, because I really needed a break from my internship and I really wanted to see my mother and closest friend. I don't worry about gaming, because it was short lived and with a friend. My morning routine I will be doing just as normally tomorrow, but I have to be careful next time I visit my mom. Now I'm here for two days, but in the future it will be longer and my morning routine doesn't have to suffer from it. The Vegan life style is also difficult to uphold when I'm with family, instead I eat vegetarian. My mom also gave me vegetarian foods like pesto and other foods. I take otherwise she would throw it away. In this stage of life I prefer Veganism, but eating vegetarian now and then is okay at the moment.  The change can be done gradually. Today and yesterday I had strong sexual thoughts, but no-fap still lasts. My total amount of video entertainment is +-4 hours this week.

 

Day game and Comfort-zone challenges

I did 9 approaches this week and I couldn't close or keep a full conversation. I didn't have much time for daygame this week. I went out with the RSD group and met 7 of them, they are cool people and they motivated and gave me advice. They also invited me to do nightgame, but I left that evening to go see my mom. I definitely need to do more approaches. Until now the max was 28 and the min was 3, most of the time 9 approaches. +-12 on average. I want to do at least 30 a week which I haven't done yet. When my internship ends I have more time to do this.

So I discovered that C-z challenges help with my social drive, joy and playfulness. The RSD guys were impressed when I showed some. I made a selfie with a stranger and asked more people, but the refused. i got a free tester face creme and a cup of thee from a make-up shop. I did some high 5's as well. My insight is that these challenges are damn easy since I started daygame. day game is next level, so my advice for anyone who reads this DO COMFORT-ZONE CHALLENGES! You can use it for daygame, but also for your social life.

 

Social life

Since daygame and C-z challenges this aspect improved. Now I met RSD guys who are on the streets everyday and I'm in their Whatsapp group. I met another daygamer who goes solo and he asked me to daygame this weekend and maybe the next. I did hang out with a peer student and we both want to do this more often. I do have contact with my long time ago vacation love from when we were 15. I asked her for a date, because I like her. I asked her just for fun. I have no intentions except to get to know her and have fun We still have to find a date for the date. I think I friend-zoned her. I met a man from Sri lanka who approached me 4 weeks ago and he needed help so I offered him help. I helped 2 times and he and his wife thanked me with a Sri Lanka dinner at their place which was vegetarian/vegan and delicious. The second time we had a great talk and he had a very touching story about his life. When I haired this I felt ashamed for my modern life problems. I was also invited by my student house co-students to chill and talk in their room. Now one is going to celebrate her birthday and I'm invited to it, we will go out on 27/02. And lastly I fellow intern likes me and he invited me to go to a game store (which I declined, because I wanted to go to my mom). He is a game addict, but a nice person and we keep in touch.

 

I never got this much attention and adventure in my life. thanks to my  C-zc i also met a man who preached about Christianity. I felt his devotion and sense of purpose which was inspiring. He shouted on the streets and when I approached we talked a lot and he treated me thee from MC Donald. I tried to learn about his Stage blue perspective and as he talked it seems that Christianity made him evolve from Red, because I was a pickpocket-er in his early life.


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Posted (edited)

Day game week 9

Up to now I have done 76 approaches, holy shit. So from now on I don't count the ones that ignore me, because then I can't do an approach. Approximately half of my approaches are openers or direct rejection.  Today I felt I had to do this seriously so I got an idea. 

I made two checklists:

  • 5 warm up approaches, only giving a compliment and wishing a nice day with a limit of 30 minutes
  • 10 serious approaches, trying to get a full conversation with a limit of 2 hours

So what I did was making checklists and setting a timer. I was astonished that it gave me more motivation and it worked, I even did a bonus approach. in the warm ups took only 9 minutes and the 10 approaches 110 minutes, I even did a bonus approach. My first record was 10 opening approaches a day, now it is 5 openings and 11 approaches, so 16 in total. thought about doing another set later this day, but I thought it would be better to take my victory for now and treat myself to some great food and enjoyment. Today I went alone without the RSD guys.

My skills have also improved, I don't come of as mechanical. My body language and intonations still do, but I always had this so this would be difficult to change.  Now I focus on giving specific compliments. I also recorded 3 of my openers to hear how I sound. I also have to give credits to the RSD guys. They gave me infield feedback and since I am able to do full conversations with better quality.

Edited by Marinus

Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Updated value list 

I wanted revisit my values and see what has changed. I took 1 1/2 hours and now I have a list of 8 values. I want to have 10, but I noticed that my previous 10 values were able to go together and some were not really values I embodied. So here is my list in particular order:

 

Self-actualization & Consciousness

= Moving up the spiral and realizing my full potential.

Looks like: expanding consciousness and perspective up into stage turquoise.

Embodying: embodying my current stages and transcending stages when the time is right. Meditate daily.

 

Perspective & Wisdom

= Being able to see multiple perspectives.

Looks like: Stage Yellow, having knowledge about multiple subjects, being a lifelong student.

Embodying: reading non-fiction books, watching educational videos, reflecting, talking with all kinds of people.

 

Health & Balance

= Emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being.

Looks like: happiness, connection with god, energetic body, mental clarity, balance between masculinity/femininity.

Embodying: following my heart, meditation, (western) yoga, strength exercise, being outside (in nature), vegetarian/veganism, cold showers, relaxing, no-fap, listening to music.

 

Authenticity & Integrity

= Being honest with myself/others and living according to my principles.

Looks like: a noble life.

Embodying: keeping promises, living according to values, following my heart, speaking honestly.

 

Ecology

= The interaction of people with all life on planet Earth and the well-being of this planet as a whole.

Looks like: treating life with benevolence as much as possible and only using the energy I need.

Embodying: vegetarian/veganism, minimal consumption of all forms of energy and materials, recycling, helping animals in need, respecting animals and nature, keeping the environment clean of garbage.

 

Equality & Diversity

= equality among all races, cultures, genders, religions, ages, etc.

Looks like: everyone is the same yet different, no one is truly better or worse

Embodying: respecting differences, withholding judgement.

 

Purpose & Habits

= taking action regularly to achieve goals and giving my gifts to the world.

Looks life: a life purpose, having routines, pushing my comfort-zone, mastery, change.

Embodying: expanding my comfort-zone, meditating, a morning routine, street approaches, no-fap, reducing addictions and distractions, developing necessary skills.

 

Freedom & Adventure

= having control over the trajectory of my life.

Looks like: freedom of beliefs, independence, sexual freedom, traveling, my own business, financial independence, a life without regrets, detachment of outcome.

Embodying: creating my own business, day gaming/pu, being independent, pushing my comfort-zone, reducing addictions, taking risks. 

 


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Posted (edited)

My vision on actualizing 

The vision

Right now I got the insight that I dabble a lot with self development.  I want to teach/coach people how to develop themselves and actualize their potential up into the spiral. This can only happen if I'm a master actualizer and to become one I have to do deliberate practice. To become a master actualized person, visionary, sage I need to be able to see multiple perspectives. Mastering this is a little bit more complex then something like a sport, it is mastering multiple things. At the core it's mastering the discipline of my all around behavior and adjusting my behavior to achieve happiness. I want to work on building a stronger character and using this to lead people up on the spiral.

It will be tough, but now I see there is no other way to live my life. Life is so amazing and we have so much opportunity for growth. I see life as a story, I want to reflect on my story to see my heroes journey in action. I like stories like films and games, but I want my own story to tell so I have to do this the smart way. I want to look back with pride, joy and no regrets. I want to be a superior man, a leader a visionary, a wise sage, an example for others to follow.

As someone who always thought about himself as a hero I could be, it is my destiny to become this hero. A prophesy of my own making. For anyone reading this I probably sound very self absorbed and insane. I WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME WITH AL I GOT. Even if this is an illusion, a dream, I rather make it the best dream I've ever had and will have.

Looking back

Yesterday after writing my post on Day  Game I got the insight that I have grown a lot, really A LOT! I read some posts of other actualizers and I was surprised that my discipline and will power have drastically improved. I reflected how I have grown. I made the choice to pursuit actualizing on June 2016, that is almost 3 years ago. Man that has gone very fast! I imagined that I could time travel to the second time I was to lazy to meditate, back then I meditated just for only 3 weeks.  If I spoke with my 19 year old self and tell him that he didn't play video games, that he was able to approach random attractive girls on the streets, lose his virginity, have lots less social anxiety, feel energized, be independent, feel like a winner, be brave and have learned a lot about life if he just started to meditate every day without breaks then he couldn't see that this was possible in only 3 years time.

How to approach this

Currently I have morning routine and I practice getting out of my comfort-zone on a regular basis, but doing things the same way like my routine won't have much impact as deliberate practice. I now need to start connecting dots from all books and videos I read/saw and apply this strategically.  Funny enough I think I'm very good at strategic games, so why not use this to my advantage? I can use my gaming experience and apply this on my own game, my life. THIS WAY ALL THAT TIME PLAYING WAS BUILDING MY FOUNDATION FOR THIS VISION, holy shit I just got this insight. WARNING! anyone reading this who plays games, don't use this as a justification, that's a TRAP!  My biggest pitfall will be burning out, so I have to be smart and respect my limit. Over time my brain will rewire itself. Currently I'm at day 133 of no-fap and I pretty much have this under control. CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!

I still have a lot of work to do to apply my ideas and building my life like this, but If you build stone by stone everyday then the house will become a reality in the future.

 

Edited by Marinus

Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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My Education

So my last post was a bit too much. For the remaining two weeks of my internship I made some changes to my plan. I won't do 30 approaches a day, because it takes mental energy that I need to invest in my internship. Otherwise there is a big chance that I might fail it. I need to get my priorities handled first and that's my education for now. I also decide to take more rest by sleeping more. I removed the Wim Hof breathing method from my morning routine and replaced it with 15 min. extra sleep. I want to sleep an hour more at least. My goal is to sleep 9 hours. I really want to do Day game, but it being the cause of failing my internship isn't worth it.

 


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Habits streaks of  week 10

The previous streak post is week 9

Habit streaks.PNG

So this was my first week without the Wim Hof method. I slept a lot more then I'm used too. normally I slept for 7 hours and last week it was 8,5-9 hours a day. I hope this strategy will help me with my internship. I only have 9 work days to improve. Honestly I'll be glad when I finish my internship and I'm looking forward to going back to school. 

i have some good news too. I really am enjoying reading every morning, more then I used too. When I started to read I didn't understand a lot of English words and I would get tired form reading. Now I don't feel as tired and go very rapidly. I currently read a 350+ pages book and I think I read 100 pages a week, so I burn through it very fast. After I finish this book I'll read the 3 system thinking books form the book list

 

Day game

because of a priority shift I did only one day of gaming. I did 1 warm up approach and 10 approaches.

Day game statistics.PNG

This week I did more full approaches then I did in all the previous weeks except last week. This looks promising for my future. When I told the RSD dudes about week 9 one said that I did more approaches then most of them. I discovered that the group is a distraction for approaching. My biggest successes were without anyone near me. Also the weirdest thing happened yesterday. I was procrastinating on my approaches and when I tried to do my first my legs cramped massively and I have an injury. it's the same as if you over train. It might be because of the cold or it was a homeostasis symptom. I never had this before, never. 

 

Diet 

I finally cooked this beast! I wanted to do this 1,5 years ago. I finally did it and it tasted good, very different from what I'm used to.

 

Finances 

I also came across this video.  I think it useful. I'm very good with money so I didn't spend too much attention to it, but this is also part of the actualization journey. I also notice that I use a lot more spreadsheets in my life now.


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Week 11

So I realized that I have a weak vision for my future. Currently I want to become a life coach and help people with building beneficial habits and reducing bad ones, because currently I'm doing this myself and I think it helps to build towards a better future and self actualization. But something inside me says this isn't grand enough. I want my vision to be bigger and stronger then it is now.


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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hi there @Marinus

I was checking out your journal and saw you've been working on cutting out mindless TV/movies/series? I've just started trying to incorporate the same goal into my life, and I'm amazed how difficult I've found it... I guess you don't realie you have an addiction until you try top stop! How has it been going for you?

 

Hugs,

Lucas

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@ZenDancer hi Lucas. 

 

Currently I watch a little more then a couple of weeks ago, primarily because my internship stresses me out. I still watch a lot less then I used to. 

I never watch cable tv. Firstly I don't have cable and I don't want it at my student dorm. Secondly the adds on tv motivated me yo stop watching.  I did instead switch to streaming services. 

If you want to reduce mindless tv start watching educational YouTube videos that don't strain your mind too much, like documentaries for example. Also give yourself permission to watch entertainment as a treat to an accomplished goal or only in the weekends. Over time your mind will adjust. So doing cold turkey isn't the best strategy for me in this case. 

Also lists like mine in this journal help a lot too. 

Good luck! 


Check out my channel :ph34r:

https://youtu.be/0uZJOhDxHzs

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Hi there Marinus,

 

Thanks for the response. Yup, I'm gonna start tracking my TV consumption and rein it in to educational material. In time I reckon I may want to cut it out altogether... Keep up the good work - I'm enjoying your posts :)

Lucas

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