Playing with my self esteem to get things done

[d0ornokey]

I noticed that my motivation to get my habits done is coming from a place of: do it otherwise you will never be good enough

I noticed that if I give love to myself, my motivation to do the habits goes away. So to keep the habits my ego uses my self esteem to get the work done. 

I know this because I said to myself, if I loved myself what would I do? And i intuitively felt to drop my habits. 

However like this is so incredibly hard for me to do because I've spent the past year building up my habits and they do me much good actually. 

Is there something i can do to keep my habits? 

[ivory]

I've noticed something similar in myself. But as these feelings of wanting to do something or not oscillate, I also notice the motivation for which I want to do them change. Sometimes I want to do something because I enjoy it, or because it makes life feel meaningful, and then other times I do them so that I'll feel better about myself or because people will like me if I do them. What I've noticed is that we often have mixed motives for doing the same thing. Some of those motives are authentic and some are not. So it makes sense to drop something or slow down for a little while until the inauthentic motive drops away. The key for me is to notice which motives are authentic (rooted in joy or meaning), and which are not (validation, avoidance, control), and to stop feeding the inauthentic motives.

 

What I'm trying to say is that you may not need to drop whatever you're doing. However, you may need to slow down from time to time, be gentle with yourself, and get really in touch with the authentic part of yourself.

[TheAvatarState]

@d0ornokey are your habits aligned with your life purpose? Perhaps you need to rethink your relationship with habits, now that you're more conscious. Habits for the sake of habits no longer work for me either. 

Your foundation should be self love and conscious presence. That it doesn't matter what you do, you are perfect the way you are. Now to a low-consciousness person, this doesn't make any sense! Don't I need to recognize my flaws in order to change them? Yes, that's fine from that paradigm, but as you're finding out, that no longer works as you evolve.

Placing your self-worth on the completion of habits you believe are "good" just isn't the right way to go about things. Instead of thinking, "I'm good because I do X," think instead,"I love myself just the way I am, there is no good and bad, but this habit will bring deep satisfaction in myself and ultimately others." Knowing thyself is the highest calling. If you bring presence into each moment, every day is a blessing; an adventure. Literally every experience is beautiful and icing on the cake. Because instead of believing that doing certain things earns you cake, you take the understanding that you ARE the cake.