Ampresus

Emotional instability (emergency)

3 posts in this topic

Right now I am crying. Whenever I get with an argument with my mom and she shouts for most of time, I somehow later get an emotional breakdown and start considering all the options. She never tolerates me. She never accepts me. She treats me like I am inferior. Please someone help. I don’t know what to do. Whenever things escalate she threatens me with moving in with my dad. Please read this post for more info:

 I am 14 years old. I meditate everyday for 30 min. I do shamanic breathing sessions every Friday. I read my books everyday. I think today I had some kind of enlightenment experience during my meditation sessions. Probably nothing big.

I always get these emotional breakdowns after a heated debate with my mom. I am so tired of them. I am so sad because of them. I get this same feeling when I am in a heated debate with my dad. I hate it. Please help. I can’t type anymore. Tears are blocking my vision.

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@Ampresus

First off: You‘re doing great man, already doing so many things to calm you down and help you distance from all the emotional chaos you have.

I had these arguments mostly with my dad back then, on a daily basis, sometimes for hours. And they still happen, 10 years later, but much less and if they happen, I handle them very differently, which is the key. You can influence the situation, anger cannot persist if you anchor yourself in acceptance.

If you get into an argument next time, breath deeply into your belly and notice your breath throughout the whole situation. 

That’s really important! Don‘t get lost too much into the conversation.

If she shouts at you, ask her why she is doing that. Try to be curious about it, do NOT believe that you deserve it, because you don‘t. It will also help you to understand the situation. 

You can also set boundaries and say that you don‘t think these arguments help either of you and that you respectfully want to end the discussion.

If it still overcomes both of you to a certain degree, wait for it to be over and express all the anger immediately after that by throwing or punching your cushion. Lay on the mattress and kick with your legs, make fists and punch at the same time. Try to get it out of your system ASAP.

Being 14 is really hard and I‘m proud of how you handle the situation, if there‘s anything you need DM me!

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19 hours ago, youngshinzen said:

@Ampresus

First off: You‘re doing great man, already doing so many things to calm you down and help you distance from all the emotional chaos you have.

I had these arguments mostly with my dad back then, on a daily basis, sometimes for hours. And they still happen, 10 years later, but much less and if they happen, I handle them very differently, which is the key. You can influence the situation, anger cannot persist if you anchor yourself in acceptance.

If you get into an argument next time, breath deeply into your belly and notice your breath throughout the whole situation. 

That’s really important! Don‘t get lost too much into the conversation.

If she shouts at you, ask her why she is doing that. Try to be curious about it, do NOT believe that you deserve it, because you don‘t. It will also help you to understand the situation. 

You can also set boundaries and say that you don‘t think these arguments help either of you and that you respectfully want to end the discussion.

If it still overcomes both of you to a certain degree, wait for it to be over and express all the anger immediately after that by throwing or punching your cushion. Lay on the mattress and kick with your legs, make fists and punch at the same time. Try to get it out of your system ASAP.

Being 14 is really hard and I‘m proud of how you handle the situation, if there‘s anything you need DM me!

@youngshinzen Thank you so much for your reply. I am feeling a little bit better. The night I posted this I got some kind of panic attacks I think and after those I decided to be in the present moment. I went to bed with this mindset. I luckily fell asleep after a few minutes, usually it doesn't just happen like that. In the past it could take me hours to fall asleep after those kinds of emotional breakdowns. 

I already asked sometimes why she screams in the past, but because it didn't make much difference I thought it was useless to ask. Again, thanks for your tips. 

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