toxic environment

[Claire Verlyn]

i feel like i've been in a toxic environment. this has caused me in doing something in an unproductive way and not willing to take actions and oftentimes procrastinating due to the beliefs or ideas that they hold about how life works, how people are supposed to live, how society works, what is good and what is bad, how perfect life looks like, and so on and so forth. many people around me have limiting beliefs that make me incapable of being productive and passionate about something or harnessing my creativity and my intuition. i really want to move to another place, hoping to find positive and empowering people and surround myself with people who have high consciousness in their life and act like a creator, not a victim in their own life. but somehow i feel like it's nearly impossible. the first reason is that i'm still in high school, but next year i will go to another city to continue my education in college. secondly, i once had this talk in my mind, "do you think that such wonderful environment with passionate and conscious people can exist in this era?" i mean don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that there aren't any positive and empowering people in this world, but to find such environment with that kind group of people is really a challenge in society nowadays. so my question is how do you deal with toxic people in your life if you know that it's impossible to get rid of them?

[Forestluv]

I would be careful in assigning all causation to environment.

Consider the perspective that behavior is an interplay between an individual and his/her environment.

From this perspective, a toxic environment would not prevent a person from making healthy choices and actions. Rather, a toxic environment would make it more challenging for a person to make healthy choices and actions. 

If you place 100% causation on environment - you render yourself powerless. If however, you think 50% personal and 50% environment - then you empower yourself. If you believe you have little control over your environment, then put the focus on yourself. This will empower you.

It seems like you have had an awakening that you are undergoing toxic conditioning from your environment. The people in your environment are "trying" to condition you with limiting, unhealthy beliefs. The recognition of social conditioning is a HUGE awakening. You are now aware of the unhealthy conditioning and you don't have to blindly accept it like most people do.

You have already thought about how you can change your environment. Now ask: What can I do now about my personal attitude and perspective? How can I empower myself in an unhealthy environment?

If you don't work on personal perspective, you will still have blocks in a healthy environment. Many people try to change their environment geographically, thinking that is the solution. Yet, you bring yourself with you to the new location. An unhealthy attitude in a healthy environment is only half-way there. This person would still face blocks until they work through their personality issues.

This is just one scenario. It's also possible that the person's attitude would naturally change and thrive in the new environment. Yet, I think it's more common that people fantasize about an ideal environment and upon entering this new environment discover they still have problems due to personal issues.

 

[Key Elements]

We tend to remember the toxic environment we were in. When we are not in the toxic environment anymore, we still remember what happened. If you find yourself in your room working on something, try to find ways to let go of toxic thoughts. Ask yourself, how can I find ways to do more things that I love? How can I find ways to interact with others so that I attract the "right" ppl?