now is forever

random jungle noise

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trying to get myself a bulletproof west by trying headpoint journaling...a christmas carroll...by ryder carroll. this guy also read mari kondo, i guess. well it‘s the synchronicity of our time.

so as it already is like mari kondo for journaling i use it as discarding/decluttering practice (one of the goals for 2019)

actually i‘m not sure... it’s surely efficient but is it really effective in the sense of creativity? i‘m not sure if the questioning is the right one - i miss the: “keeping  what you ultimatively love” from mari kondo...

a little too pragmatic in the questioning - maybe only for the starter. it might be helpful to set priorities right though.

i mean asking if something matters is just not the right questioning as people’s value systems are so different. if i love something it doesn’t mean it really matters on a material level, but maybe on a spiritual and a lot of people might not get that...

maybe he didn’t read mari kondo after all. this is not a critique, it’s just a notice...

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started with abhyanga today again - templeservice - i felt a little empty and unloved but abhyanga works wonders - the smell of warm medical oil or sesame oil and the touch of warmth of my hands that give love to my skin while the weather is completely umph.

and then donating some nice muladhara yoga while still oily and sourrounded by that shakti protection - sounds slippery? yeah totally B|

you certainly have to take the oil of the feet and hand thoroughly before.

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so i wonder about the chacras and the colour applied to them. a lot of people visualize red and say muladhara is read but on this one picture here it is yellow:

59C07E65-CB5A-4BCB-8F32-EA5A9E8C3255.jpeg

i notice it has the elephant, too. aswell as the throat chacra. funny as it is, while visualizing red during the muladhara practice, i also had a vision of my ganesha figure covered with red powder, visualized the sun and a red powder tilak. 

i just love abhyanga - it’s my india/hindu/yoga connection and one of the gateless gates to spirituality for me.

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found an answer here:

https://www.sivasakti.com/yoga/chakras/seven-gates-towards-the-universe-first-gate-muladhara-chakra-4/

it has both colours - it’s also interesting how this is linked to group belonging and health (the group teaches the individual how to survive) - yes that‘s the elephant definitely!

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the other deities are brahma and dakini. 

dakini is the one i know the lessest of these three as a symbol - i mean i don’t know a lot about the other both, they are an intuition though as i lived in environments with their presence and think i have a loose concept of what they mean in a healthy way. so i guess i need to figure out that dakini a little more.

(hehe dakini is a dancer for complete freedom of everything conditional, why does that feel so autobiographic?)

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am also interested in finding out about this... it sounds so much like a mixture of spiral and yoga...could also be breakfast yoga though. integral cereales...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integral_yoga

bought this really nice print of the matrimandir

https://www.auroville.org/contents/252

want to go there once

E6139A5D-2F17-4110-9997-1C42C38D6986.jpeg

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https://www.google.de/amp/amp.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/roads/2015/07/auroville_india_s_famed_utopian_community_struggles_with_crime_and_corruption.html

found that kind of interesting - auroville doesn’t really sound like a cult but it has its issues obviously.

the problem seems to be that there is always something like a homeostatic pressure on places like that - if you build utopia or any other bubble, it doesn’t mean the outside world disappears, so either open all channels or try to protect. but you will always have issues with visible or invisible boarders as boarders are made in the mind of the people. not understanding that these boarders exist, and openness of all boarders also makes vulnerable, is a boarder, too.

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going on with abhyanga and muladhara yoga (smudge weather) - but also starting with basic kriya techniques.

discarding practice works almost fine - yesterday was a little too much procrastination (with auroville) though. and i can’t take up strict timeframes yet as i even get lost in decluttering at the moment - but that‘s positive in a way as this means i‘m still sponging.

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so i finally made my way through the intro of the life purpose course and arrived at visions. it’s interesting as i thought i had a cloud like vision when i came here but it was not very concrete - guess i have to go into that very deeply. juggling again with so many different things... it’s not really easy to keep a track of all the narrative strings i try to follow.

there is yoga/kriya/kundalini/tantra i try to understand with working my way up, starting by muladhara, finding out about what that means emotionally and conceptionally/philosophically. then there is bullet journaling and some other scheduling/organizational stuff i‘m working on. then i also try to organize my environment better while i constantly declutter. also try to start understanding the spiral. learn a lot of new stuff about medical herbs and inbetween i check where my position on the life curriculum map is.

i still want to work on the selfinquiry and  meditation more.

oh man and now visions :D

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while reflecting on clouds and visions, stumbled upon these pictures - funny how answers just apear by answering to others but are hidden when we search for ourselves sometimes.

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from time to time i wonder about the colour of these clouds - sometimes they are grey or for me reacently they where pink from sunrises and sunsets.

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today i read if clouds just pop up unconnectedly they are called vikshepa and are supposed to be a limitation of the mind. i’m not completely dacor with that, as for me this is connected with vision, but i understand it’s good to realize when they come up and it might be helpful to discern and ignore them if it’s not the right moment but in a lot of cases i just accept them as gifts from the universe.

for example reading about vikshepa and being concentrated at the same time only came about, me buying the book from swami satyananda and burning palo santo, what i bought coincidently at a place i went for other reasons out of pure interest because of vikshepa.

hah! what i thought about is called vikshepa shakti - so i guess it’s about discerning clouds from clouds.

image.jpg

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i even heard palo santo can be smoked... i’m not sure! maybe i’ll try once.

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so i also read vikshepa shakti is part of maya together in a trinity with avarana shakti and viveka shakti.

as i understand it, vikshepa shakti is a moving energy and has something to do with dynamics and would be like the chi and the chi of the mind, that wanders from random to random -  definitely an aspect of creativity.

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there is one thing i realized by reading through the first introduction on kriya - it’s about this goldfish brain and focus. kriya doesn’t focus on focus it focuses on letting the mind flow being aware on awareness. what i really need is focusing practice - vikshepa shakti works really well already. so i need to root in focusing more. that also means focusing on the stuff that really matters - if i push it away there will be no change. 

so i need to train myself on focus - it’s only now that i understand repetitio est mater studiorum, but i understand it more in a practice repetition not in a repetition of empty words. well that might help at first, too. repeating decluttering repeating until the essence is left... like a sauce.

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so i‘m still figuring out that vikshepa a little more and understand now that mastering vikshepa shakti is not only about the loose association and random popping up of vision - it is also about setting the vision into a context and in that lies the importance and the art. do we set it into context only to the egoic self agenda or do we have a higher goal with it where we can take the ego out of the game a little more - i guess that’s the relation of vikshepa shakti to visions. 

especially at the moment i lost that track as i was too much involved in struggle for a bit - and i also see that i still need to set up some basics, be it emotional or material, until i can really dream of these visions again.

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so today i reflect about dakini. dakini or khandro, the skydancer or skywalker... for me she’s the equivalent to the wild woman.

and together with brahman and the elephant ganapati artharvashirsa part of the mulhadara chacra symbols/incorporations/deities

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i wonder if dakini and vikshepa shakti have something to do with each other. but researching i couldn’t find any obvious connection. except for my association of the clouds with vikshepa and the meaning of dakini. i guess connecting dakini, muladhara to vikshepa shakti, random-liquid-vision makes us cloudwalkers and skydancers or clouddancers and skywalkers.

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12 hours ago, now is forever said:

funny as it is i‘m reflecting on that since a week or so with interruption... related to kriya yoga. in the book i‘m reading they recommend in a byphrase to do concentrated meditation - like meditating on one object or phenomenon without letting the mind flow. in kriya the visualization goal though is to let it flow - but that’s not focus. focus means really concentrating on one thing and always returning. could be a candle or a stone or a plant or the breath. i guess a stone could be good.

even though it seems boring.

and funny as it is i just realized how i flee my own journal because i really don’t like to focus. the post above was answering to a thread about c.g.jungs ENFP personality type. one type out of 16 personality types. i must say that some of the attributes match my personality and some not - it’s a little like a horoscope, maybe i have an aszendent?xD

just did a test and mhhh yes

ENFP-T 

it even fits to being aquarius :ph34r:  

t would be the aszendent. is this the capital T? no?

i guess i really need focus practice!!!

but i just started the wim hof method breathing practice - not a good idea to change again. maybe win hof and yoga/kriya in the morning, focus in the evening... not sure yet.

also want to try going more towards ketogenic diet. that means based on no carbs more fat (nuts, oils) + proteins and veggies. just trying if i like it as it just popped up in the forum.

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so maybe it’s time to reflect about avarana shakti as this is the shakti/power of hiding/concealment.

so in the cloud analogy the avarana shakti would be a concealing cloud that hides the clear view. the avarana shakti is making the delusion and this delusion can also happen in the vikshepa shakti if we confuse the avarana shakti for the real thing. the vikshepa shakti then will project the incomplete or partial view on that what is and interfere with it.

so one of the main goals to use vikshepa shakti might be to minimize avarana shakti.

or to use avarana shakti in a certain way as what i read just now it is almost impossible to have no avarana shakti at work.

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still a little confused with the cloud analogy for avarana shakti. as i‘m not really sure if the avarana shakti is the cloud that hides or if it also has a texture that is projected then or if it is that what we see despite the concealing cloud or if it is the whole picture fragmented or not fragmented. a little like in the sponge analogy - the bubble is part of a sponge but it is also a sponge itself. so for the cloud it would mean: the cloud is the whole view, even the clear sight, but it also is a cloud. and in the cloud are clouds that hide the view on the complete cloud.

and i wonder if this hiding cloud is what we not focus on or if the cloud is what we focus on or maybe it is both the same - that what we focus on hides that what we don’t focus on.

so the bubble of the sponge is not only a sponge it is also a cloud that contains clouds.

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viveka shakti as the third phenomenon/power is the power of discernment.

this is not weighing these three powers in anyway it is just the attempt to make an discernment of these powers in movement. it is also said that all three shaktis constitute maya - but maya is also not weighed originally, maya is within brahma.

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image.jpgso concerning the life curriculum content wise, it might look like i‘ve entered the light grey area and circling around 7.how to develope selfawareness.

would be no wonder as that’s what this has been about all the time through viveka shakti btw. the removal of viveka (shakti) for a while. that’s the power of unlearning. i wonder if there is a shakti for this, too...

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just now i realized how hard it is to not have an health insurance for someone who is used to do work based on his/her hands - i sometimes forget how lucky i am to live in a country where that is taken care of for me.

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