Stuck in life, need to move out

[Davo124]

Hello everyone I’m an 18 year old guy with tons of potential to positively effect people but I’m autistic and I find it extremely difficult to express myself around people in a way that they can express themselves, too. 

Last night i smoked the last of my bag of weed so it was a bigger hit that usual and I had a horrific insight into how a human can lose the game of life through trapping themselves- I challenged myself to live in a room in the garden for months, with musical instruments, notebooks and weed. I thought of it romantically. What has come from that is social bankruptcy. Im so frustrated because a few years ago I could be the alpha of any situation, just because I assumed and believed it- I don’t know where that’s gone! I want my belief back. I thought I could become happy by myself but I was too weak to meditate daily and stay sober, and right now I feel lonely and miserable. 

 

I’m surrounded by people who think that living poor and unhappy is normal I need to break away from it all

Please if you have experienced anything similar please help me to help myself out

 

[martin_malin]

I can relate. When I was 18, I was popular and had a ton of confidence. But at 20, for whatever reason, I had dissociation episode that left me stuck in my head and miserable for two solid years. I had lost it too. 

While wanting to comeback to your former self is comprehensible, it's not going to happen. Why? Because you are evolving. We never comeback to who we once were. I know it's cliché, but the shit you're going through right now is happening for you. The pain is forcing you to take a good hard look at yourself and your life. You are diving into the abyss of your soul. Treasures lie there. 

Joseph Campbell would urge you to find your myth and give yourself to it.

 

[thehero]

I've lost that same social confidence too and am aching for it back

I'm going to be spending the next month brainstorming and becoming social. I want to hit it hard

[Davo124]

23 hours ago, martin_malin said:

Thanks man that helps. 

Infinite potential is scary af right now but I’m gonna keep at it, about to start a journal on here ??