Romantic relationships based on ego?

[Tistepiste]

So I just read this post by someone claiming romantic love does not exist, and "every girls loves a guy by ego interest not by pure love".

I thought it was interesting to discuss this in a topic.

What does that say about guys anyways? I feel that it is 'sexist' if you do not validate the opposite statement, or to be even more general; constructing a general statement: Every person loves another person by ego interest, not by pure love.

However, I feel like this statement is false.. Why?

Well, first of all; out of my own experience;
Not that it really matters, but my sexuality is not based on gender, but on persons.
If I am attracted to a certain person (no matter what gender, it just my 'gut' that talks,), I listen to it.
I had this relationship with a guy that I just saw in the distance while in a party. I felt this immense strong attraction power that I never felt before.
I am not sure where it came from but it was one of the biggest feelings I had ever felt.
Now, this is a non-traditional feeling to have, certainly since 'homosexuality' is looked down upon in most cultures and society.
 

Which already questions this statement; why would a person be attracted, or go into a romantic relationship, feeling 'romantic love' for someone that does not conform to societal standards, when whatever we do in love is by ego interest? I am sure that this does not give interest to the ego in the slightest since all it does is going against what you have learned on how to behave and how to be. Taking all the negativity in just to be able to express your sincere feelings?

Also, I dated this guy for 2 years and I never felt that this was out of my ego. I just genuinely loved this person. I loved his presence, his energy, his way of living and his way of 'being'. Although, of course, we did not always agree, there was this 'bigger thing', that was above us which would deem every argument as more 'superficial' against the profound love we had for each other.

I don't know, I thought it was interesting to look at; because although I do think people sometimes 'love' out of self-interest (and with this, I am thinking more about toxic relationships), I think all truly healthy relationships, are not built on feeding your ego, but just out of genuine for the other person.

If your romantic attraction is based on feeding your ego, this seems purely narcissistic and bound to fail, because if the other persons fails to admire you and your ego, then it all falls apart very quickly.

Edited July 12, 2018 by Tistepiste

[Victor Mgazi]

Humanity has not yet comprehended its psychology, it is like a child in a sense (relatively speaking) and as children we tend to be driven by impulse and intuition (the so called gut feeling). 

The ego is all about self preservation and well being. Fulfilling the biological needs, neurological necessities and psychological wants is its prime interests. 

The pleasant experience you would have around that guy is a psychological phenomenon based on the ego's nature. It's all about pleasure and pain in the end game. 

hope this makes sense for you 

[Charlotte]

Not about gender, it's about ego. A must listen. Hope it helps ??