Career Crisis

[Bend_and_Sway]

A "crisis" might a little exaggeration but I am def having a daily battle with myself. . . 

I have been really itching to quit my job. I’m not aligned with what I am doing. The odd thing about it is, what I am doing is supposed to be the "right" thing.

When I started in the field it was the late 1990’s. The State I am from was closing their facilities and moving people with disabilities into community apartment placements.

I have been working in social services for 20 years. I have worked in group homes and supported living with developmentally disabled kids and adults. I went from working 1:1 with the people doing a variety of things from helping with shopping and changing diapers then to supervising services.

I went into the management of the services at a pretty early age. By the time I was 20 I was already holding a lower level management position.

At this point in my career I am doing case management. It is so stressful. There is such a staff shortage in the industry. The services the people are getting are pretty bad. I am feeling helpless to really help people. The whole system is under so much pressure that I can sense that it’s about to implode on itself.

So the issue that is really bothering me -- I feel like these poor people might have been better off in the institution.

The money that the government is spending on each of these cases is not reflected in the quality of care or life that the person is having. Since I handle the money side of the services and the oversight of everything I can see the problems but I have no idea of what to do.

I honestly think my soul wants to walk away but how can that be?!?!

 

[tsuki]

7 hours ago, Bend_and_Sway said:

So the issue that is really bothering me -- I feel like these poor people might have been better off in the institution.

The money that the government is spending on each of these cases is not reflected in the quality of care or life that the person is having. Since I handle the money side of the services and the oversight of everything I can see the problems but I have no idea of what to do.

It is not that you do not care about your job. From what you've described it seems like you care too much.
As disturbing as it may sound: it is really easy to confuse the two in the midst of things.

The institution you're working in is not going to get any better any time soon, but it definitely is:

• the best thing that we have right now
• better off with workers that actually understand the problems it is facing.

However, the point of view of the institution is only half of the problem. The other half is your suffering related to your inability help people to the extent you want. Again: as disturbing as it may sound - the solution to your problem may lay in your attitude towards your work.

You cannot help more than you can. Unless, of course, there is more you can do, but for some reason you don't do.
Do not blame yourself for the extent of your influence, because you are working with finite resources.
If your suffering is related to the observation of how much money is 'wasted' on middle-man people like yourself, then stop blaming yourself for trying to live a decent life. Everybody working in welfare deserve to live a reasonably comfort life. Even more than people from other fields.

7 hours ago, Bend_and_Sway said:

I honestly think my soul wants to walk away but how can that be?!?!

Caring too much can prompt you to do all kinds of things. Don't be too harsh on yourself.

[Nahm]

@Bend_and_Sway FInd a position, with a scenario in which you can help & love to the immeasurable degree that you want to. I don’t think you’ll rest until you do. I think you’re experiencing a kind of social worker burn out, where you get a degree to help people, and then you get 30 cases and it turns out it’s one big paper pushing box checking state funded carnival of burocracy to get next year’s funding. There are millions of other positions. Your past made you more than ready for this future.