Fear Of Rejection

[The Don]

If we invest our happiness in anyone or anything, at some stage we can be faced with this feeling of being let down, feeling of being abandoned or rejected. It's inevitable. It has to be that way.

If we invest our happiness in an object, a situation, a person, a state of mind, because all objects, situations, people are intermittent, sooner or later we are going to be abandoned.

It's a law. I can't be any other way. The feeling of being abandoned or being let down is the symptom but the cause is much deeper than that. The cause is this investment of our happiness in a person or a relationship.

The cure for that cause is not to get busy with the person with the relationship but to discover where happiness really resides. In the simple knowing of your own being. Once you discover that then you never again invest your happiness in anyone or anything. You're free.

If you find somebody that you like and that you can share this happiness with then that's beautiful. You get together for a few weeks or a few years or a few decades or for the rest of your life. But the purpose of being together with that person is not to find happiness, not to find love.

If we approach another person with the desire to derive happiness or love from them, the relationship is doomed. At best it will just be a pact between two people investing their happiness in each other. There can't be true intimacy. There can't be true love. It's dependency. It's not love. It looks like love from the outside but it's not. It's actually fear of losing one another.

Masquerading as love for one another.

Edited June 9, 2018 by The Don
Spell checker.

[Guest Quanty]

Indeed. Thank you for the great insight. 

[MisterMan]

Yeah, plato said that as we grow our idea of love evolves where we start life off with a rudimentary understanding of love and as we get older (if we're lucky) our understanding of what actually love is begins to crystalise into a purer form. 

HOW you actually implement this in a relationship, i honestly have absolutely no idea. 

 

Edited June 10, 2018 by MisterMan

[Star Net]

Hi @The Don @Quanty @MisterMan

The kind of rejection that You mentioned is a rejection after acceptance, it is different than a rejection in the beginning without an acceptance at all, these are different stages of relationship, in the second one there is no relationship exist at all,

although, The best thing that I can add here is " Build Your life around Yourself " then You will find the true love,

and Keep in mind that " There is no doubt that a time will come that You and the other person will be seperate in one way or another, when that time will come, Your life and/or His or Her life will not be destroyed, Because it has been build correctly ( around Yourself ) ",

look around You and notice, very few people build their lives around themselves, and thats the reason that most of the people can not find true love, do not be one of them,

 

Read those words Carefully, it will save You a lot of wounds and time.