d0ornokey

Questions about my retreat

3 posts in this topic

Hey guys, just did a half-day meditation retreat. I'm not too experienced, but been doing do-nothing for 25-30 mins a day for the past couple months. I also don't really look into enlightenment theory too much, but I'm doing the practices. If you guys don't mind answering my questions that would be awesome :)

This retreat I did

sitting vipassana - 1h 

walking in nature with labeling - 1h

sitting vipassana - 1h 

walking in nature with labeling - 1h

sitting vipassana - 20 mins

 

Questions: 

1) When you have a thought process:

I label hear and just observe the thought process

Sometimes the thought process can go on for 20 + seconds, what do I do. Leo says the cycles are about 7 seconds so do I stop the cycle and focus on something else or do I re-label / wait for another phenomena?

2) Also, I'm confused because Leo said if there's a short phenomena, replay it. "Like if it's a machine gun round, just replay the last bullet".  So if I hear a car for 2 seconds, do I replay the last second or replay the whole sound?

And if I have a short thought like "I like that", do I replay "that" or the whole sentence?

And if I replay it do I replay the word/sentence for the full 7 seconds? And the car sound repeatedly for 7 seconds? Because he said this is done in 7 second cycles.

3) Another thing is I literally could not wait til it was over and I repeatedly wanted to get out and do something else. I kept looking at the clock and when it was over I was like "thank god" Yawning and wanting to sleep was pretty common. I also got a bit horny as well. What do I do about this?

4) Whenever I do SDS, I get this intense, overwhelming experience that takes over my legs and arms. It usually happens at the 10-15 min of the sit and it's like this overwhelming pain that lasts for 5 seconds. The come up is very scary and the come down is very uncomfortable. However, when I move the pain stops. Sometimes it gets too unbearable and I have to break the SDS. What is this?

5) I literally could not sit and wanted the meditation to end. I wanted nothing more than to do something else. How to reconcile this?

6) I felt so sleepy that I slept for an hour after the walking meditation. I also masturbated

 

Thanks! 

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Good for you. I didn't know they did 1-day retreats. I just got done with a 7-day myself. I'm no expert, but since nobody else has popped in, I'll talk to ya for a few minutes.  

1) When you say "a thought process" are you referring to realizing that your mind has wandered away from your breath and moved on to actual thinking? If so, that's when I label it "THINKING" and go straight back to my breath. You don't want to be pursuing thought processes if it's something that you're actively participating in (what should I tell that guy at work tomorrow? etc). If it's not something you're participating in, but rather an organic thought that pops your head, you can label it HEARING or SEEING or THINKING  or however the thought manifests itself, then focus on it without manipulating it until it fades. If it doesn't fade or seem to be going anywhere, I ditch it after 10 seconds or so and go back to my breath. 

2) Don't get hung up on 7 seconds. There's nothing special about it. His point is to not immediately let these things go without focusing on them at all, but also do not focus on them for too long. 7 seconds is a rough timeframe for this sort of intense focus. If the sound of a car going by comes at you and takes center stage in your mind, focus on the sound (or the memory of the sound) until it fades from center stage. If that's a couple seconds, so be it. If the car parks in front of your house and revs its engine for 3 hours, focus on that sound until it doesn't command your attention anymore.  If you have the thought "I like this," just acknowledge in your mind "LIKING" or ENJOYING and move on. You don't have to dwell on everything for 7 seconds. Only focus on the things that take you away from your breath and demand center stage attention. 

3) For one thing, stop looking at the clock. Sitting down to meditate is a binding contract between you and you. Set your timer for 30 mins or whatever, close your eyes and don't open them again until it buzzes. Yep, you might get pissed off. Yep, you might want to do other things. Yep, you might want to sell your soul to the devil to make the timer sound. Just treat those feelings as opportunities for growth. You can label it FEELING ANGRY, focus on the feeling for a few seconds until it fades, then go back to your breath. This, I believe, is one of the most important aspects of Vipassana: realizing that thoughts can simply be acknowledged and released. When you repeatedly encounter FEELING ANGRY and focus on it and watch it disappear, you start to realize that letting go these thoughts doesn't have to stop when you get up from meditating; thoughts in your waking life can be treated in exactly the same way, and that's powerful.

4) Are we talking about Strong Determination Sits here? If so, that's the whole gist behind the practice, man. You can't hurt yourself in a 30-min sit, or even a 2-hour sit, so you just greet the pain, label it PAIN, focus on it until it stops hogging center stage, and go back to your breath. If it doesn't get off the stage, play with it a bit by wondering "who is feeling this pain?" Pain sucks, but that's part of a SD sit. They aren't fun, but Shinzen Young says they're one of the quickest ways to progress.

5) Ha, we've already covered that. Once you get a few months of this behind you, you'll realize that those thoughts don't come up nearly as often, and you'll be able to sit for longer and longer without mental or physical discomfort. You are doing this correctly, so don't get disheartened.  :)

6) Yeah, this stuff takes a lot out of a person at first because it's so foreign to us to sit for that long, and our ego gets freaked out and lashes out at you in the form of thinking you can't do this anymore, or that you need to jerk off for that familiar dopamine fix that it provides. You will get better at it!

Damn, I wrote another book. Sorry!!  

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@d0ornokey
1) Personally I just stay with an object until it either stops and then I label 'Gone', or until something else takes centre stage/grabs my attention. Don't worry about it being 7 seconds, it could be less or more.
2) I've never done the replay thing you talk about. I don't think it's necessary to be honest. Just observe experience as it literally is without interfering or manipulating it in any way. 
3) Definitely do not keep looking at the clock. Observe the the feelings of boredom, impatience, agitation and all the thoughts that come with it like "when will this end?", "Did i set the timer correctly?", in exactly the same way as you observe the rest of reality. Mindfully watch the feelings and thoughts arise and don't get attached to them. Prior to meditating make sure the timer is set correctly so that you know for certain that it will go off. Staying mindful throughout the whole meditation is really the key here.

5) You have to mindfully sit through the boredom and desire to do something else. Label these feelings and thoughts. Do not resist them. Resisting will make it worse. Simply be aware of whatever arises. This is where the real growth occurs, not when it's all easy and nice. 


"Find what you love and let it kill you." - Charles Bukowski

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