Life just blows up sometimes

[Artimus]

Hey everyone.

I've been gone for a little while now. So much has been happening... 

First off, thank you all for your advise in my last post. Things have been tough but I took everything to heart and have been trying to work on myself. I found a small therapy clinic in my town that is run through a local church. It's been a pretty big help with a lot for me. 

So it's been a few crazy weeks since my last post... I blocked my ex from my phone and have just been avoiding any situations to run into him. Things seemed to be going alright for a while. My parents both had to work late about a week ago and so I was just chilling at home and he just shows up.. I tried to tell him to leave. That it wasn't okay for him to be here anymore.. and he just tackled me down and started rubbing all over me.... I could smell nothing but beer on him.. I was able to finally get out from under him and run out the door to my neighbors house. They called the cops...

So now my parents are pushing to press charges.. and I don't know how to feel about it... I feel bad for him... I still love him deep down.. I know what he did was stupid.. but is it really worth all of this again... I tried to tell my parents to give him a chance to get better and they just lashed out at me and said that I was sick.. am I? 

I just don't know what to do... 

[RichardY]

Press charges. Give him time to get off the alcohol & reflect, before he considers doing something again.

[Artimus]

13 hours ago, RichardY said:

Press charges. Give him time to get off the alcohol & reflect, before he considers doing something again.

My parents are pressing charges on him...

God I hate how messed up I feel.. I know he was wrong but I feel like this is all because of his brother... I don't want him to end up like his brother... 

My parents are pissed at me because of how I've been feeling... They said they are considering sending me to stay at my aunts house... I heard them fighting about it and my dad thinks that I am sick... Am I wrong for feeling like this? I feel like there is more to all of this than what they are seeing... But am I just insane..?

[RichardY]

I think you probably need time away, to process and come to terms with what happend, to then be able to move on the best you can. Staying  where you are is going to remind you of what happened, and is not helpful in itself. I think there are many insane people in the world, many who don't realise it. I don't think you are insane, just understandably neurotic(with reason). Personally I think living with your Aunt for a while maybe a good idea. 

[RichardY]

@Artimus

Generally it's more feminin to be concerned for others a kind of, Win - Win, compensated for by exclusion(if you care for everyone, you care for no one). Usually the woman countlessly excuses a husband's/partner's infidelities and vices. 

A more masculin element is Win - Lose, compensated for by competition & cooperation.

It maybe difficult, but try to come to terms with how different sexes think. Your former boyfriend probably has only one thing in mind at the moment. When he should be thinking about the bigger picture. I wouldn't imagine there would be much difference if he was on drugs, because in a way he is.

[zoey101]

@Artimus I agree with @RichardY

You need to get away from this.. you aren't insane. You had strong feelings for each other and now the only one with those feelings is you. Your ex is hurt and angry for the wrong reasons. You can't help him. I think you should go to your aunts and just try not to even think about any of this. You can't control what is going to happen so just remove yourself and try to focus on yourself.

[Artimus]

On 5/25/2018 at 7:23 PM, RichardY said:

@Artimus I wouldn't imagine there would be much difference if he was on drugs, because in a way he is.

What do you mean?

I guess I'll consider leaving... Maybe if I'm not around, that whole family can heal... I don't get what made things turn out like this... Doesn't really seem fair.. I'm only 17... I just want things to be normal... 

[RichardY]

44 minutes ago, Artimus said:

What do you mean?

I guess I'll consider leaving... Maybe if I'm not around, that whole family can heal... I don't get what made things turn out like this... Doesn't really seem fair.. I'm only 17... I just want things to be normal... 

Hormones.

Yeah and don't think the decision is in anyway final. Could always move back with your parents. The world can be really brutal sometimes, lots of things can really mess you up. But don't be afraid to ever ask for information from a variety of different people. I'm sorry to hear you are 17 though, maybe you can work through things better elsewhere at the moment. Plan out what you would like to do, and focus on the good.

[Artimus]

@RichardY @zoey101 Thank you guys. I have given things some time to settle down and allowed myself to do the same. I told my parents I'll go to my aunts house so that I can work through these crazy emotions away from all of this madness. My parents are set on perusing the charges... It hurts... but I'm going to just let things work out however they will. 

[zoey101]

@Artimus i know it might seem scary now but you can do this. Stay strong! Focus on you. You're worth it!

[Jamie Universe]

On ‎5‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 6:24 AM, Artimus said:

I heard them fighting about it and my dad thinks that I am sick... Am I wrong for feeling like this? I feel like there is more to all of this than what they are seeing... But am I just insane..?

insane is a term judgmental people use to compensate for them not fitting into their paradigm, which is totally normal and don't worry about that. Caring for him is totally normal, it just sort of sounds like your parents are mad and lashing out or something... 

I agree with @zoey101 Just removing him from your life and trying not to think about him, will eventually remove the emotional feelings you have about them. You can research and deal with the emotional consequences (if there are any) later when the heat dies down.

[Artimus]

@zoey101 @Jamie Universe thank you. I'll be moving to my aunt's this weekend.. I don't know what will happen.. but I'm trying to stay open to it all..

[Jamie Universe]

@Artimus Good luck!