Does anyone understand 'sudden' depression?

[triadne]

Maybe I'm wrong and maybe it just crept up on me. It's actually quite possible since I've been feeling a bit on edge recently.

I'm talking about sudden attacks of depression. like I could be feeling ok and then just BAM I get hit in the face by this feeling of emptiness.
Maybe it is an underlying issue that is wandering in my subconscious... it hit me yesterday. I was working on my game (I develop games on my own) and I went into the kitchen to get a snack and all of a sudden i felt like my world was ending.  It's possible that it's related to my work and that my feelings about the snack just sort of triggered something.
I do feel quite lonely at times when I do my work. I think it's a feeling of loneliness because being around people is often an easy distraction. So when I am working on my game and I start to feel really bad, maybe I feel like I need to be around people? to be honest though, I don't think being around people would actually help at that moment. but I am not sure why I start feeling that way. I start to lose motivation to continue working on it. it's usually when the task I'm on is quite repetitive or when I'm not solving some interesting problem.  But then I feel like there is no point in anything. I lose interest in everything.
Another factor is that I feel so tired lately. like everything is too much to handle. I'm not yawning or sleepy, I'm just tired. I sometimes feel like I can't focus on anything.
I wish I could put my finger on anything, something to help me figure this out. I know I am feeling overwhelmed, that much I have figured out.
Anyway today, I have been doing many things that ought to make me feel better. I went to the gym earlier and had a good circuit training session with the girls, really enjoyed it. as I was walking away from the gym, I was feeling okay, and then suddenly BAM, I felt awful. no apparent reason for it.

I guess my question is... does anyone understand this at all, or is my brain probably broken and I need to see a professional doctor?

[h inandout]

There's nothing wrong with you.  You are responding appropriately for whatever realization is trying to come to you.  Having a diverse and also consistent support network is definitely a human need.  And friends are super cool.  If I was into programing I would totally wanna come to your house and take a look at your game development!  There is most certainly someone on the internet who wants to do that and would value the time spent Skyping you at where you're at in the process and listen to what your reflections are on the emotional journey that it takes as well.  And there is seriously nothing wrong with seeking a therapist.  They specialize in this stuff for a reason.  They are not creepy or deranged at fucking all.  They just see how deranged you are and love you for it.  Find someone that makes you feel good.

[Shin]

I would definitely see a professional if I were in your case.

Doing some shadow work would most likely benefits you a lot too.

[triadne]

39 minutes ago, h inandout said:

There's nothing wrong with you.  You are responding appropriately for whatever realization is trying to come to you.  Having a diverse and also consistent support network is definitely a human need.  And friends are super cool.  If I was into programing I would totally wanna come to your house and take a look at your game development!  There is most certainly someone on the internet who wants to do that and would value the time spent Skyping you at where you're at in the process and listen to what your reflections are on the emotional journey that it takes as well.  And there is seriously nothing wrong with seeking a therapist.  They specialize in this stuff for a reason.  They are not creepy or deranged at fucking all.  They just see how deranged you are and love you for it.  Find someone that makes you feel good.

Thank you it would be totally cool to have some good friends   I'm glad this sounds normal, I was starting to worry.  I am on the list to see a therapist , but NHS waiting lists are very long.

38 minutes ago, Shin said:

I would definitely see a professional if I were in your case.

Doing some shadow work would most likely benefits you a lot too.

Thank you, that shadow work sounds really useful actually. I have been watching Leo's videos for a long time and haven't come across any mention of that yet. I will take a look. I checked on google just now and I found a book that comes highly recommended. I'm gonna search it out and buy it. I do need to do more reading.

 

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, triadne said:

Thank you it would be totally cool to have some good friends   I'm glad this sounds normal, I was starting to worry.  I am on the list to see a therapist , but NHS waiting lists are very long.

Thank you, that shadow work sounds really useful actually. I have been watching Leo's videos for a long time and haven't come across any mention of that yet. I will take a look. I checked on google just now and I found a book that comes highly recommended. I'm gonna search it out and buy it. I do need to do more reading.

 

Check the link in my signature

[triadne]

@Shin  brilliant!!! thank you!!!

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, triadne said:

@Shin  brilliant!!! thank you!!!

You're welcome, friend

[Guest Quanty]

If you relax the root chakra and tap into IT and don't know how it works, then it will shatter the EGO and you will feel like dyeing (this is called EGO Death). Don't blame depression for this (or you can get in serious mental binding beliefs),  this is normal state for the Initiated ones in Nirvana and a desperation state for the idealistic ones. Maybe this happened to you because you start feeling very confident with your life situation or someone or something is influencing your vibrational state of being and you don't know yourself fully yet (knowing oneself is making the subconscious (root chakra) - conscious.

 

Blessings