Social Anxiety Advice Por Favor

[Slade]

I’ve delt with being shy my entire life. Anytime attention was on me in the classroom I’d turn bright red and my nervous system would go into panic mode. Social pressure seems to peirce right through me and reminds me of the feeling I felt as a child, ashamed and embarrassed. I’ve looked into this, I know where it comes from. I realize that I have a limiting belief but I’m not sure how to fix it once and for all. There seem to be surface layer solutions like nofap, practicing socializing, and meditation. These solutions seem to put the problem temporarily at bay but not completely. I feel like the best one was to practice socializing, which may be the answer that I’m looking for. But I’m still curious, how do I actually dissolve this once and for all? Have any of you overcome your social anxiety 100% to where you feel comfortable saying it’s gone out of your life forever? 

I’d like to only hear from people who have permanently dealt with this problem and please keep the zen riddles to a minimum. ?

[Slade]

15 hours ago, Mighty Mouse said:

Limiting beliefs are held in place by the emotional energy behind them, and the emotional energy is held in place by the limiting belief. So it's a self-reinforcing psycho-somatic gestalt.

The emotional energy is the somatic component, for example the hot glow you feel when you are the center of attention. That's what grants power to the limiting belief and makes it convincing, and it's also what can cause panic and overwhelm if it's particularly strong.

Breaking the cycle often involves progressively weakening each component in succession. In this case you've already identified the limiting belief, meaning that you theoretically know it's bullshit. It's still convincing to you because of the emotional power behind it, but the belief component is already weakened by the simple act of identifying it as such.

Now you can weaken the somatic component by allowing yourself to completely feel that hot glow when it comes up. Normally you try not to feel it so you turn your attention away from it and avoid it at all cost. But the solution to weakening it is actually to train yourself into the habit of turning toward it as much as you can, and allowing it to get processed simply by resting your attention on it (don't be surprised if it takes some practice).

As the emotional power behind the belief weakens, it becomes less convincing, and that allows you more clarity about the matter which in turn could weaken the belief component even more, etc. until at some point you see through it completely and it just vanishes from your experience as if it never existed.

So basically it's always a two-pronged attack and it doesn't really matter where you start. Sometimes it only takes a single poke at one of the two components and the other one disappears with it instantly. Other times it takes a lot of back and forth and may go through several phases or layers before being completely worked through. But the basic principle is always the same. And the first step is always to distinguish between the mental component and the somatic component.

This is actually really helpful. So when I fee that hot glow, do I ask myself why I feel it while I’m feeling it or anything like that? Or just focus on experiencing that feeling completely? 

[NoSelfSelf]

I know your struggle you have identity based on shyness( i assume everything revolves around it) meditation and self inquiry helped me another alternative is to change yourself 360 and i dont know you can sustain it if you are introvert...

[Slade]

3 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I know your struggle you have identity based on shyness( i assume everything revolves around it) meditation and self inquiry helped me another alternative is to change yourself 360 and i dont know you can sustain it if you are introvert...

See it’s interesting because I feel like I’m supposed to be extrovert. Like I really enjoy being extroverted and I’ve chosen very extroverted careers. I just feel like this problem is bogging me down from really shining ya feel? 

[star ark]

Lots of people have social anxiety. Do you see it in others? If so then they see it in you too. Try and spot people like you and practice socializing on them first, they may be practicing socializing on you at the very same time.