star ark

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  1. I was never a big poster so I am probably not remembered, but I left in a rage. Now I'm back. A touch of the humility must have taken hold of me. I will try and not shut down ideas of others I don't believe (unless you seem mentally unwell and are trying to justify drug use when you clearly need help).
  2. do you even see keyboard keys or words on a screen?
  3. He was already crazy is my guess, he harnessed the crazy but now he's like eccentric surrealist genius writers or Telsa, a candle that burns so bright we all benefit from their torture but they snuff out too soon.
  4. I didn't get any pearls of wisdom out of it but it was an compelling watch.
  5. I really think it's a lack of one or two nutrients, vague depression that isn't about one particular negative experience is such a common form of depression. And I've searched all over the net for my own issues and so many times you'll find a lady got off prozac taking mega b3 shots, or too much mercury was in the canned tuna and months were needed to improve, or cruciferous vegetables antagonized the thyroid. I bet it's one very hard to find but very easy to solve problem like remove on thing from your diet or take one vitamin or mineral.
  6. You should look into intermittent fasting. There are huge long term benefits to IF. Also less grains and starches in your diet will level out your hunger pangs. If you could eat between 2pm and 8pm each day and only water or unsweetened tea drank during the day you are doing the 16:8 intermittent fast which is the standard method for most people. If you haven't already google 16:8 intermittent fasting just to check it works for a 17 year old.
  7. Leo looked like he was pretending to have revelation, sorry but I never saw anyone that confident, clear in their words and able to not only operate a camera and keep everything in frame but remember the whole point for that long. To keep on track for that long on some big trip doesn't sit right with me, it must be like the after glow of a substance and he still remembers the experience or he is full blown having some awakening moment. That would be scary, you would hate to be driving a car or operating a giant crane and all of a sudden go through that.
  8. There goes a philosopher without his coat, another without his book, yet another half starved saying as he goes "I have no bread but I still remain faithful to reason." And here I sit, well nourished and surrounded by my books, unfaithful to reason. - Marcus Aurelius, the Emperor's Handbook Brilliant book, feels like one Roman man came up with his own Tao Te Ching
  9. Subconsciously trying? I think that's a contradiction Try thinking some song lyrics in your head while breathing in and out. Try and do the opposite of TM by not matching the rhythm of the breathing with the rhythm of the song lyrics. It feels weird to me, I always want to finish singing one line in the song with one breath and the next line with the other breath. My internal voice seeks the rhythm of my breathing in some strange way. I think that could help but what do I know? I'm no specialist. edit: I mean try that song lyric idea in little bursts, not in a meditation session, just standing in line, sitting at a desk whatever
  10. No offense but I suspect it would be hard to identify 2 year cycles at the age of 20. All teenagers are crazy and up and down so I'm pretty certain that is why you need to be older before the diagnosis can be reliable. Medication is hard to get off for some people, don't be certain.
  11. Try and enjoy each breath, breath it in and appreciate how good it feels, focus on how deep the breath is, focus on how the inhalation is bringing good qi and the exhalation is expelling stagnant qi. If you have any ache of pains imagine breathing into the pain with the breath coming from your head and not your lungs and push it into the aching areas, imagine on the inhale you are bringing in clean energy to heal and on the exhale imagine you are letting go of the pain or stress. If you focus on all those other things surrounding the breath and simply try and enjoy it if you have no aches or pains I think you can get over it.
  12. I agree 100%. Evolution is something I suspect happens to god just as much as it happens to creatures. Maybe we really did create the sun as an illusion in my mind but that will never help me in my life so I take a more grounded approach. Otherwise day and night, the earth being a a ball orbiting a sun, vitamin d, sunburn, how plants grow, the temperature etc is just more illusion.
  13. Enlightenment is a journey that never ends, not a destination. Personality disorder is an excuse for some people but a list of symptoms and possible remedies and treatments for others.
  14. Are you in your late 20s or early 30s? Those age groups are the common ages for bi polar or schizoid disorders to emerge Have you tried all the lame exercise, vegan, no dairy, no this, no that, boring stuff? The boring stuff helped me and it also freed me from self deceptions that I needed some out there thing to make life seem worth living.
  15. Thought is you creating a narrative of your past and predicted future. The structure, nature and essence is purely made up of outside stimuli. Something happens and you react and afterward you think about your reaction and use this narrative to develop ego and essentially create a subconscious system of probabilities eg. I met 300 men named Jim and 298 of them punched me in the balls so next time I meet a Jim I'm not letting him anywhere near my balls. So your thought isn't really yours it's a reaction to others as they react to you. Most people aren't afraid of every Jim out there but in this example I have every reason to be afraid of every Jim. So thought is a reaction, is the environment positive to the life form?