So In Relationship When Couple Fight Or Argue It Is Best To Talk Or Walk Away?

[Mohsinuddin]

So when I have argument with my girlfriend we should walk away or talk things out?

[Sarah Marie]

@Mohsinuddin I usually like to talk it out if we are both calm and communicating like adults. If I start to feel a rise coming within I walk away and try again later.

[Ajax]

neither...

I like this technique: https://www.megagenius.com/free-briefings/making-universe-work-you/

[Mohsinuddin]

10 minutes ago, d1ajax said:

neither...

I like this technique: https://www.megagenius.com/free-briefings/making-universe-work-you/

Impressive. Thank you:)

[FindingPeace]

11 hours ago, Mohsinuddin said:

So when I have argument with my girlfriend we should walk away or talk things out?

Communication is always the best solution. But fundamentally, if you're arguing in the first place there is a communication issue. I dissagreement is not an argument. An argument is an ego-battle. The biggest ego wins over the weaker one.

The problem with walking away is that, at some point, you have to walk back! Also, walking away doesn't solve anything. The problem doesn't just dissapear. As a consequence the anxiety and tension tends not to dissapear either. It'll only come back again at some point.

If you're having arguments then you both need to sit down and address your lines of communication. There's a lack of listening and accepting of one another's veiwpoints going on. A lack of respect for one another. You need to be able to be open and honest and impartial. Able to hear one another out without egoic and dogmatic reactions. Discuss the dissagreement in a calm and constructive and most of all civil manner. Respect one another.

You both have you're own beliefs, values and world views and they won't be exactly the same. Neither one of you is 'right' or 'wrong'. Just different. So respect that fact. Try and reach compromise or at the very least, understanding of each other's veiws. There aren't always black and white solutions to dissagreements.

Don't ever just walk away from problems though. It doesn't solve them. Confront them up-front. Deal with them.

Edit to add: Leo has a good video on communication skills.

Edited February 25, 2016 by FindingPeace

[Dhana Choko]

I always talk when I am at peace. If I am coming from ego or I am very upset and I want to hurt the other person or only get my own point across, I will have a break and talk when both of us are calmer. I think it is better than trying to talk it out when both people are extremely triggered.

[FindingPeace]

26 minutes ago, Dhana Choko said:

I always talk when I am at peace. If I am coming from ego or I am very upset and I want to hurt the other person or only get my own point across, I will have a break and talk when both of us are calmer. I think it is better than trying to talk it out when both people are extremely triggered.

I agree with this. Sometimes it is constructive to say "Let's talk about this when I/we have had chance to calm down."

However that is different from walking away from it. It's important to make that distinction. If you need space then communicate that fact, as opposed to just turning and leaving the room. Two very different messages there.

[Guest]

Talk it out in a peaceful and adult manner. Never argue, a man never argues with a woman. If she cannot communicate like an adult and all effort is in vein, don't get angry or upset. Just stay calm and walk away.

[counterdependent]

On 2/25/2016 at 5:22 PM, The Alchemist said:

Talk it out in a peaceful and adult manner. Never argue, a man never argues with a woman. If she cannot communicate like an adult and all effort is in vein, don't get angry or upset. Just stay calm and walk away.

It's definitely an expert answer. Well said. 

[kalter000]

Sometimes girls start to "fight" not because of the content of the argument, but because she is seeking personal attention and your presence. You should approach this situation in non egoic way, stay calm and present, create sorta deep intimate understanding, rather than "yeah,yeah,ok".

Half of all conflicts were solved by hugging. Because really, most arguments start of stupid shit. At least one of you should be above this "chimpery" (c), and provide necessary support.