what is wanting?

[alyra]

I'm having a hard time identifying the concept of wanting. as far as I use the word, I use it to mean either a decision I've committed myself to, or a compulsion to alleviate some kind of irritation like restlessness or hunger. but when I pay attention to other human individuals who discuss wanting, it seems to be associated with some kind of desire, or some kind of feeling of intense interest in a thing to the point where you... idk.. "want" it... what is that? I don't understand that aspect to it.

 

and also even tho I can't identify exactly what this kind of "emotional wanting" is that gives people engagement in their way, I guess somehow I expect I'm supposed to too, and I'm generally trying to find ways to operate perfectly fine without this mystical wanting that I'm pretty sure I lack, but it's confusing because I've tought myself in some way to be expecting this "wanting" to occur.

 

I'm putting this here because I don't find it to be some kinda major emotional problem I have. I find plenty of things engaging, find I like a lot of things, and I make decisions just fine, commit to things, but I've just found a blocker to my planning things out that's based on expecting there to an event (wanting) that doesn't occur, that I don't even need to perform my endeavor, yet it prevents me from moving along with my endeavors because I'm waiting for something which isn't happening. so even tho it ain't the only thing I'm doing to improve my functionality in pursuing my endeavors, I want some assistance in conceptualizing and identifying what this "wanting" is that others seem to be so attached to. I'm trying to explain it but, if it is in fact true I don't experience this "Wanting" others seem to, lol at me trying to understand it without assistance!

 

 

[Ascend]

I have trouble believing that you don't understand or haven't experienced the concept of desire/wanting. Every human has, usually every day of their lives. We want tv, food, sex, attention, validation. To feel good, to sleep. If I were to ask, "Alyra, what do you want?" You wouldn't be able to think of anything?

Edited November 27, 2017 by Ascend

[alyra]

38 minutes ago, Ascend said:

We want tv, food, sex, attention, validation. To feel good, to sleep.

nope, nope, nope, idk maybe, idk maybe. hunger is just a feeling in my stomach, and I know it is time to eat. if there's any food i want it is cheese. but if "wanting" is wanting cheese, then it's the only thing I want lol, and I know that can't be true. I think my cravings for cheese are desire, not wanting. unless they really are the same, but enough people say that wanting is different from desire, is this accurate? I only really find I desire things like food, drink, basics of sustaining my existence. and so far "wanting" when I say I want something, it is a conclusion I've made, and then commited myself to. I want to exercise, because when I don't my body feels weak and even hurts or becomes constrained in tightness. I do not like that, and also find it to be detrimental to my endeavors. so I say that I want exercise. I also say I want endeavors, but again, that is just a statement of a commitment I've decided to apply myself towards. I am assuming that that is not really wanting. would you agree? or am I mistaken in my assumptions?

 

assumptions 1) that desire is different, but similar, to wanting 2) that committing to something is different from wanting 3) that responding to stimulus is also not wanting. 4) that technically speaking, you COULD call any of the above wanting, but there is something else that is more accurate, more precise, colloquially, that means wanting, which is an emotional interest in a thing, where you feel some kind of emotional investment in "Getting" the thing you find interesting.

[SOUL]

Want or desire is the psychological expression of what we experience in the physical as hunger but though we can be hungry, to satisfy that hunger we "want" cheese and we don't want lima beans. We are horny but we want who appeals to us and not who doesn't, it's the psychological expression of it that satisfies us in a way that just the food or sex doesn't.

Edited November 27, 2017 by SOUL

[alyra]

44 minutes ago, Ascend said:

I have trouble believing that you don't understand or haven't experienced the concept of desire/wanting

i have a lot of interests, but I could take em or leave em. i often commit to endeavors, but that commitment comes from a decision. the closes I come to wanting, is remembering that I usually like the way my body handles pizza to energize it over the way chinese does, and so I say I "want" pizza because it is by my regards the superior choice. a decision based on past experiences. how can that be wanting? i feel like aliar to say i want pizza, expecially when they look dissappointed - they wanted chinese, and I am perfectly happy with chinese, it's yummy too.

[Ascend]

19 minutes ago, alyra said:

i have a lot of interests, but I could take em or leave em. i often commit to endeavors, but that commitment comes from a decision. the closes I come to wanting, is remembering that I usually like the way my body handles pizza to energize it over the way chinese does, and so I say I "want" pizza because it is by my regards the superior choice. a decision based on past experiences. how can that be wanting? i feel like aliar to say i want pizza, expecially when they look dissappointed - they wanted chinese, and I am perfectly happy with chinese, it's yummy too.

How do you feel emotionally most of the time? You seem like a very logical person.

[alyra]

3 hours ago, Ascend said:

How do you feel emotionally most of the time? You seem like a very logical person.

language is hard for me something about autism and processing the world almost purely via concept.

 

I tend to enjoy my emotions, but I have had a history of anxiety and depression, so I also tend to remove myself from my emotions, allow them to be, I'm not perfect at it as a depressed day can certainly cause me to be tired and unmotivated, but I tend to make decisions about things in a more "thoughtful" way idk if "logical" is the best way to say it... I can be impulsive of course. idk really how to answer your question... lol

Edited November 27, 2017 by alyra

[alyra]

oh ok, now I am thinking, to describe wanting as, "a commitment to do, obtain, have, possess, or maintain some thing; or an impulse or compulsion to  do/obtain/have/possess/maintain/etcetcetc..." this technically accounts for the mysterious emotional wanting I believe some others may in fact have, without needing to understand it myself in my not-having it.