Juicy Side Of The Ego

[Aidan]

After studying materials on enlightenment and meditating, I came to realize that dropping ego is not only about foregoing the negative story of me. I have many habits such as the repetitive thinking (positive) and external stimulation (in the form of movies, reading news and chess) that I enjoy. I also realized that many of them serve no purpose and are simply distractions of the mind. That made me anxious and restless. I must have judged myself. So, I decided to continue with my old habits as usual and only be more aware of what I am doing. It helped.  However I also realized that I cannot enjoy my habits in the same way I did before. It is quite unpleasant feeling.  I must also say that watching videos of Leo, Eckhart Tolle and Rupert Spira have changed my life for better. They helped to unwire many of my neurotic beliefs and behaviors.  I became more grounded and peaceful.

I wonder if the juicy side of the ego is one of the reasons why so few people follow enlightenment and non-duality teachings. Some people may be happy living life on their own terms and on the terms of the society they live in. Their “story of me” could be a positive one rather than a negative one as it was in my case, for example. You may say that truth is better than any delusion but it is hard to argue that they could have lived a happier life following spirituality.

What do you guys think? How do you define the juicy side of your Ego? Was it hard to let it go?

[Saarah]

@Aidan I define it as all 'illusions of belonging', but I like your term too of juicy ego   

It just means that everything we do and enjoy about life like entertainment, socialising and big aspirations, gives us a sense of being 'in' the world, like we belong and have something important to do. Let that feel fake and then come nihilistic feelings, but again for that there's the illusion of not-belonging to look out for too  

Same as you it helped me drop some habits seeing it like that much more easily than by effort, but being in a grey area is also uncomfortable when it comes to relating to the world. I just stay mindful of it but carry on with things I need to

[Forestluv]

@Aidan Being is part of existence. My self image and thoughts are part of that existence. They can be illusionary, yet still a projection. Like I'm not the character in a movie, yet there is still a projector and movie screen with an image of a character.

The "juicy" side of the ego for my ego is the sense of security that it is in control. The "juicy" side of thoughts for my mind is conceptualization.

 

[Brimstone]

@Aidan it can be most useful finding the part of yourself that you think you love the most and consciously focusing on killing that self image as it actually stands in the way of you breaking through the wall and seeing what is hidden behind the veil. It hurts and it sucks, but it will never be lost as you will continue to do what you do after you have seen through the bs.

If you do make it through, you will no doubt want to race out and buy the latest "I am enlightened" t-shirt and flag to hoist put the front of your house, lol, which is a whole other beast, lol, and an idea that must die also.

[Amadeusz]

Quote

 However I also realized that I cannot enjoy my habits in the same way I did before.

 That was said in the 'Awareness alone is curative video'. The idea that when you're fully aware when doing distractions like TV, drugs etc. you naturally start a process that will move you away from these things. Although I didn't use it much in my life... The idea don't resonate with me much.

[Aidan]

14 hours ago, Brimstone said:

@Aidan it can be most useful finding the part of yourself that you think you love the most and consciously focusing on killing that self image as it actually stands in the way of you breaking through the wall and seeing what is hidden behind the veil.

This is interesting insight. I think I was only trying to shine awareness on the parts of my self image that I consider dysfunctional and undesirable. 

[Aidan]

14 hours ago, Amadeusz said:

 That was said in the 'Awareness alone is curative video'. The idea that when you're fully aware when doing distractions like TV, drugs etc. you naturally start a process that will move you away from these things. Although I didn't use it much in my life... The idea don't resonate with me much.

That was very helpful video. I would also recommend videos by Eckhart Tolle on awareness. They really resonate with my inner feelings and senses. While videos of Leo appeal to the rational mind. I find those two guys complementary for the self development. 

[Brimstone]

18 hours ago, Aidan said:

This is interesting insight. I think I was only trying to shine awareness on the parts of my self image that I consider dysfunctional and undesirable. 

That is what the mind does, it compartmentalises this and that and tries to keep them seperate, despite the fact that all apparent aspects of self arise within you naturally, so they will never be seperate. The answer lies beyond separation, so you have to let it 'all' go to know no-thing-at-all. In other words, you have to go all in if you want to lose it all, to gain it all, which in an of it self is no-thing-at-all and is completely ordinary.

Consider this also if compelled; what if I told you that all those people that you see as undesirable or dysfunctional are actually you also. How? Do not all thoughts about them arise within you? What that you know about anyone is not a thought that arises within you?

That is why self enquiry no matter what mask it wears is so useful, because it gets right to the root of the cause.

Emaho