I'm Too Harsh!

[uriel india]

I think im too harsh with others especially because im working on myself. But also maybe because i grew up to a violent father and i got used to "catching" him failing by getting angry and violent.

For some reason i'm always waiting for that moment where i "catch" other side saying: "Ha! you see what you do??!?! You fucked up!!"

So yes, I might be right when i point out a mistake done by another person, But am i right to respond to it in the levels that i do?

Where does compassion come into the game? Why can't i look at the other person and be more forgiving/patient/still when he/she makes that so called 'mistake'.

You see... i consider myself highly intelligent, so usually im not 'wrong' when i point out a miss-behavior of another person, but because i respond to it from old habits and old wounds, I actually make it harder for people around me to work on themselves as i always show them that i see every little mistake they make. 

Can anyone share with me your thoughts? 

What is the root of all this? How can i actually try to change the way i respond to other people? 

Thanks.

[Shin]

58 minutes ago, uriel india said:

 

What is the root of all this? How can i actually try to change the way i respond to other people? 

Thanks.

By being conscious of it and realizing it's useless and only hurt you and them.

Which is already what you are doing, you just have to be patient, this kind of thing does not change by night, it can take years  

[Nahm]

On 9/20/2017 at 11:01 AM, uriel india said:

I think im too harsh with others especially because im working on myself. But also maybe because i grew up to a violent father and i got used to "catching" him failing by getting angry and violent.

For some reason i'm always waiting for that moment where i "catch" other side saying: "Ha! you see what you do??!?! You fucked up!!"

So yes, I might be right when i point out a mistake done by another person, But am i right to respond to it in the levels that i do?

Where does compassion come into the game? Why can't i look at the other person and be more forgiving/patient/still when he/she makes that so called 'mistake'.

You see... i consider myself highly intelligent, so usually im not 'wrong' when i point out a miss-behavior of another person, but because i respond to it from old habits and old wounds, I actually make it harder for people around me to work on themselves as i always show them that i see every little mistake they make. 

Can anyone share with me your thoughts? 

What is the root of all this? How can i actually try to change the way i respond to other people? 

Thanks.

The root of all this is that you think you are highly intelligent. What a burden you are bearing. 

Being love is better than being right. 

[Saarah]

@uriel india Try to stop seeing it as a mistake but just a way of being for the other person, watch it play out, recognise you can't fix things out there and it's not your job, remember we have so much ignorance that pointing out there makes us more ignorant to ourselves, so when you catch yourself ask "how do I display this behaviour myself?"

Maybe because of the issue with your father you may like pointing out there to protect yourself, in that case if you see a mistake out there it could help to ask "how can I minimise the harm done to myself from this action?", "what can I do to take responsibility for my own wellbeing so I don't get hurt?", "does that mistake out there affect my wellbeing anyway, is it useless to worry about it?"