It's Not Safe To Be Who You Are :(

[Akshay]

Yes, In my childhood I got various messages from parents, Teachers to classmates that it is not safe to be who you are! As i am becoming now more and more aware about my childhood trauma and shame that resulted in me being now a recovering co- dependent, i really get it. The past wounds have really affected my present relations in all areas of life! But now that I am being aware of these old phenomenons, how do I continue to a path to self recovery, what topics should I research on, what books can help me and how much time will it take to re- wire my brain?

[kuwaynej]

From my personal experience i would say that you should study psychology and philosophy.

Psychology will help you to identify all the disorders within yourself.

Philosophy will help you to related to people and the world at large.

Time - if you do enlightenment work like meditated, self enquiry it should take less time. Give it a year and you should definitely see results. 

Read self help books, listen motivation speeches and try to socialize.

Books -

seasons of life.

the Five Major pieces of the life puzzle.

My favourite philosopher is Allan Watts. He has a lot of interesting topics. 

 

I will try to get back to you with some specific topics if your interested.

 

 

[Akshay]

@kuwaynej Thanks for the inputs! Yes  I would really like any kind of specific info that you can share. I really want to dig deep into this and get the roots of this thing out of my brain !

[ajasatya]

@Akshay there's nothing more powerful than self observation 24/7. be aware of your patterns and make the emotional effort to break them. it's not an easy task, but if you do this very assiduously, you'll be free in a few years. most people have to wait until deathbed in order to realize how pathetic they allowed their lives to be.

[Truth Seekah]

8 hours ago, Akshay said:

books

https://g.co/kgs/WFPeuA

http://www.oshorajneesh.com/download/osho-books/zen/The_Search.pdf

[Marinus]

1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

@Akshay there's nothing more powerful than self observation 24/7. be aware of your patterns and make the emotional effort to break them. it's not an easy task, but if you do this very assiduously, you'll be free in a few years. most people have to wait until deathbed in order to realize how pathetic they allowed their lives to be.

@Akshay I really underestimated this, but I agree that this is the most powerful way to change. Information is useful, but being self observant takes you away from theories and makes more in the moment. I'm still a rookie, but this helps and it also gives you more bliss at that moment. Eventually you'll realize that nothing can touch you and that is a powerful realization.  I still deal with difficulties, because that realization isn't always with me in the moment, but practice makes perfect. 

[kuwaynej]

@ajasatya

self-observation is the key but to get to that level would pose a challenge if you don't know how to go about it. 

@Akshay

i would recommend start by identifying your habit:

first identify the ones that you can't break (have little control over)  write  those down both good and bad.

good - meaning that it affects your lifestyle positively 

Bad - means it affects your lifestyle negatively 

the bad ones are the ones you need to focus on those are the ones that are causing in the problem.

list them in order of the most conscious/control to least.

Change the ones you have more control over first ( top of the list ) its easier.

What i mean by changes is - accepting it stop feeling negatively towards it  

Topics to focus on 

motivation - self motivation and other types

social interaction - online is a start build social circle

meditation - there are all types of meditation techniques: you can go into that a little more

use a journal (finance/work/random)to keep track of your actions

read a lot of self help books for the time bean, get use to books try audio book too

Get a Role model more than one if  can whether from history or real life  .... Someone  that you thinks have or is doing something great with their life and you would like to emulate ....... 

Also focus on things outside of yourself.

 

 

 

[Akshay]

@kuwaynej Thanks!

[Akshay]

@Mad Max Meditation isn't necessary for this stuff?

[Nahm]

@Akshay You can't dig deeper into something and remove it from your brain. You're actually focusing on what you don't want in your experience. Dig deep with focus on what you actually do want, and you'll experience that.