Francis Bennett (spiritual Teacher With Gender "change")

[Toby]

I found this story too inspiring not to share. It somehow expresses deeply the humanness of even so called enlightened beings:

Quote

An Announcement from Francis ~ First Published on Facebook on 16th November, 2016

This past year I received some somewhat strange news from a series of chance medical tests carried out for other reasons, that my chromosomal makeup is somewhat anomalous… Normally, males have an XY chromosomal profile and females have an XX chromosomal profile. But some people who are born outwardly “male” or “female” can have various chromosomal aberrations that are not the simple binary XX or XY. It turns out I am one of those people. it has been a bit of a relief to find out that this is what I have been unknowingly dealing with my whole life. In a certain sense, it explains a lot in my psyche and even in my body which I have always wondered over. Many people that have these kinds of chromosomal anomalies do not struggle at all with gender identity and feel themselves to be very fully identified with the gender they were perceived to be at birth. But some of them, like me, have always felt a kind of ambiguity around their gender identity. And some people with completely typical chromosomal profiles feel a sense of ambiguity around their gender identity also.The chromosomes and the form our body takes do not necessarily correspond to our sense of gender identity. Some studies would indicate that this also has some basis in physiological changes that happen in the womb as the fetus develops and experiences certain effects in brain and hormonal development.

To be honest,I have always felt somewhat “gender ambiguous” and as a little child of 5 or 6, I had deeply questioned my gender identity already. Between the ages of around 5 and 11, I actually felt inwardly that I was a girl, even though I obviously had a boy body on the level of appearances. I used to sincerely and naively believe that one morning, I would simply wake up and find myself in a girl body and just continue my life that way. This is a classical symptom and experience found in many transgender or intersexed children very early in their life. I even remember telling my mom something about that when I was maybe around 5 years old, and I will never forget her compassionate and loving motherly response….which was typical of her. She told me later that she thought that maybe I was just gay, which would have been just fine with her. Soon after that, she took me to a doctor out of concern and he said that gender confusion (now called gender dysforia)is sometimes pretty common among small children when their basic sense of self-identity is still being formed. “He seems like a very happy and loving little boy, he seems to get along well with other children and adults and is well adjusted in many other ways. He will probably just grow out of it”, the doctor said without too much alarm.

But I didn’t “just grow out of it”! I still haven’t!

A specialist in endocrinology that I have been going to and with whom I have had some interesting conversations around all this, has said that our chromosomal/DNA makeup is like a “blueprint” of our entire being, which effects the way we think, the way our body and brain and psyche develops, the way we see things, and experience life in general. And one thing that spiritual awakening has clearly shown me is that personal identity isn’t something that’s absolutely fixed. It’s actually quite dynamic, fluid and ever changing and is affected by so many different factors and conditions.

I feel no personal anxiety around all this at this point, although I did at various times in my life growing up. I have come to see and make peace with the fact that this is simply my personal makeup as a physical/emotional/spiritual being. It is how I find myself to be and how I always have been as far back as I can remember, and so, for as long as any of you have known me, I have had this reality in my life. I am what I am and have always been that, even though I may not have known about it consciously myself or may not have known what to call it or do about it. It was always clear to me on some intuitive level that I was “different” in this way.

I have come to feel and believe there are very few people that feel what we might describe as 100 percent, totally “masculine” or feel what we might think of as 100 percent, totally “feminine”. We all feel traits and energies of both what we might call,”feminine” and “masculine” energy at different stages of our personal development. And so, ordinarily, even something as basic as our gender identity is maybe not so “fixed” as we may assume or imagine. We are each something uniquely in between the extremes of 100 percent masculine or 100 percent feminine. This is true, not just for me and other folks like me, but for all of us. We all need to integrate these different percentages of masculine and feminine energy that we are feeling. I think, people are feeling more comfortable these days saying, “Yeah, I’ve never felt 100 percent masculine all the time, but I’m mostly masculine.” or vice versa…..seeing and experiencing themselves as MOSTLY feminine. And, I think, it has become a more comfortable society to say that in. But I suspect it’s also because the science around gender identity is now supporting that experience. My personal discovery of “the science” of my own body has been an important discovery for me. This whole thing explains on an actual physiological level, part of why I have always felt connected in a profound way to females on a level that really has nothing much to do with physical/sexual attraction. It is more about feeling a sympathetic and empathic spirit connection that has, in recent years, given rise to a deep need and attraction to integrating the seeming male/female polarities which dwell within me and of which I have always been acutely aware. I have deeply pondered over the karmic implications of all this and intuitively feel that there is probably some connection to past lives here on some level as well. But this guess is only reflective of my own personal beliefs and understanding of life and the afterlife. I have always believed intuitively in re-birth, also for as long as I can remember, even though it was not in my own religious Tradition at all and was not taught to me as I was growing up. I also feel a deep resonance with some of the Native American spirituality and the Shamanistic Traditions that speak of “two-spirited” people, who are spiritual guides that feel a need to deeply integrate the spiritual energies of masculine and feminine within their own persons. Such people were deeply respected and seen as having something very valuable to offer on the level of integration in their various tribal societies.

I’m not really sure precisely what all this means for me quite yet, or what my expression of it will come to look like in the next few years. But I do know and feel that I am on a journey of integration and further discovery around all of this and that the eventual outcome of it all will help me to more fully and authentically offer to the world my own unique presence and being, my own personal essence. Like everyone else, the personal expression of “my life” will incarnate and embody the reality of “presence” or “Spirit” in a way that will inevitably be quite unique and one of a kind.This is true for all of us, even those with less “exotic” chromosomes than mine!

I have always felt a need to be transparent and honest with people in my life and you are all “in my life” in a very real sense, even if we may never have met “in the flesh”. I just wanted you all to know this aspect of my journey because it feels so central to my personal life right now.. And I also hope that my own experience may be of some assistance to some of you who may be going through a similar journey to my own. I think there are many more people on a similar journey than we may think.

I have felt some hesitation and concern about a public disclosure concerning all this and have wondered how it might effect my relationships with my family and friends, and my teaching career. But I have come to see that if I am to teach others about life and authenticity, integration and integrity, I myself must be a living example of it. So, even though this is very personal stuff, I have decided it is time to disclose it publicly. I sincerely hope that, whatever happens in my life and whatever expression my life takes, it will all be a kind of “teaching” about authenticity, integrity, and the courage to be true to ourselves. I have always hoped, as Saint Francis once is reported to have said, that…” I can preach the gospel/dharma/truth, wherever I go by means of whatever I do…..and if necessary, I will even use words”

I love you all! I invite you all to join me on this leg of my journey!It may prove interesting!

And in closing, I am reminded of what Forest Gump’s mom once said to him, “Life is like a box of chocolates Forest..…Once you open the box, you never really know what you are gonna get!”

Peace! ~francis

[Loreena]

@Toby Great topic today.  Very inspiring. Just wow.  Great insight  

Thanks Toby For sharing.