How consistent is your ego?

[Butters]

Upon close inspection I noticed that my ego is very fleeting. For instance, someone might be rude to me and all of a sudden an entire ego structure gets created where I am this victim of people who are rude to me. It appears that this gets constructed in the moment, with a whole backstory and many associated thoughts and adjacent scenarios of other times where people were rude to me. 

But sometime later I've forgotten all this and now my ego trip is about something else. This psychological trip just keeps on happening, on and on and on. So it feels that the ego is being constructed in this moment, based on random inputs such as thoughts or environmental factors, like someone being rude. 

This begs the question: is personal history real, or is this simply being created in the moment based on the "mood" this mechanism is in? 

In spite or that, it seems that my actions are somehow consistent, which implies a consistent being or ego doing some stuff. This feels like a paradox. The same applies to other people. I think I would stop following Leo if he constantly changed his views, he'd seem unhinged. So I guess we value consistency in others, but why does the ego seem to be inconsistent and just an ongoing made up trip upon closer inspection? 

In one day I might go through thousands of "different versions of who I think I am" yet somehow there is consistency. This is weird. Most of the time I don't think of being someone at all, yet I still exist. So I suppose if I let it all go from now on and forever, I'm still here. Yet the ego trip continues to exist, thousands of thoughts per day. 

Edited yesterday at 12:11 PM by Butters

[LastThursday]

Yeah moods are peculiar really. There's this constant up-down, push-pull dynamic to them. Some people are moodier than others. 

Moods are practised over time and become embedded, there's an unconscious aspect of performance to them. Often they start in childhood. The consistency comes because you are actually the sum of all your different moods. I see it as more of a constant shift in emphasis of the underlying persona rather than a creation of ego in the moment. It's impossible to expose all your aspects at the same time, so you expose them serially one after the other.

We do value consistency in others, but we also give people quite a lot of leeway in how they are. It's pretty natural to say that Joe is in a bad mood today - we don't think they're unhinged because they're different sometimes. 

 

[Ziran]

4 hours ago, Butters said:

is personal history real, or is this simply being created in the moment based on the "mood" this mechanism is in? 

My advice:  be cautious and specific with the word "real".  What's "real", aka reality, consists of seven types of events:

1. What was
2. What is
3. What will be
4. What wasn't
5. What isn't
6. What won't be
7. What could be

Within these seven types of events, the personal histories, back-stories, are most certainly real.  They are in the realm of "could be" events.  However, these events may or may not exist in this timeline, here-and-now.

4 hours ago, Butters said:

why does the ego seem to be inconsistent and just an ongoing made up trip upon closer inspection? 

Because, often, it's scary to admit , own-up, to individual inadequacies and faults.   Instead, the heart-and-mind are rewarded greatly by distractions and mal-adapted coping mechanisms.  That's what produces the anxious cognition which rapidly conjures back-stories of events within the heart-and-mind which may or may not be true.

4 hours ago, Butters said:

In one day I might go through thousands of "different versions of who I think I am" yet somehow there is consistency. This is weird.

Try this?  You are the confluence of four major categories:

1. Affinities
2. Aversions
3. Talents
4. Flaws

These in conjunction with your parent's names and your birth-date will positively and consistently ID who you are, always and forever.   This is "grounding".

Edited 22 hours ago by Ziran

[Hojo]

It dont turn off. When I sad it focus on negative when I'm happy it make up funny things.

Edited 17 hours ago by Hojo