Women shaming men for being attracted to/dating younger women

[Xonas Pitfall]

52 minutes ago, aurum said:

Almost every couple loses attraction to each other over the years.

If you can avoid that, your relationship is extremely rare.

I agree, but there's a difference between observing that attraction can decline over the course of a relationship and treating that decline as inevitable, or even something that should happen. The issue is when an experience gets turned into an expectation, almost an accepted standard, or worse, a justification for infidelity or abandoning your partner as they age.

And it's especially hypocritical when the same people complain about the disappearance of long-term commitment and traditional relationships, while openly expressing attitudes that undermine the very possibility of those things. If you're already suggesting that your attraction and commitment have a built-in expiration date as your partner inevitably ages, how can you reasonably expect anyone to want to commit to you or build any stability?

Edited 2 hours ago by Xonas Pitfall

[aurum]

39 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I am familiar with the honeymoon phase - but it has always been a mild/moderate shift. It could be ill-defined now I reflect on it. Some people might be referring to a complete drop-off of attraction. 

I think that term is thrown about very loosely; some people refer to it from the frame of sex, some attraction / intense feelings. 

I always thought, when referring to sex as the honeymoon phase, it was that initial "lock yourselves in for 8hrs and indulge in sex, food and cuddles" phase.... Which isn't necessary very sustainable. Or conducive to attending to the duties of life 🤣 

Honeymoon phase is 6-18 months according Gottman’s research.

https://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/relationship-stages-psychology

[aurum]

44 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

I agree, but there's a difference between observing that attraction can decline over the course of a relationship and treating that decline as inevitable, or even something that should happen. The issue is when an experience gets turned into an expectation, almost an accepted standard, or worse, a justification for infidelity or abandoning your partner as they age.

And it's especially hypocritical when the same people complain about the disappearance of long-term commitment and traditional relationships, while openly expressing attitudes that undermine the very possibility of those things. If you're already suggesting that your attraction and commitment have a built-in expiration date as your partner inevitably ages, how can you reasonably expect anyone to want to commit to you or build any stability?

Yes, people can rationalize all kinds of low standards and nonsense.

It is a serious challenge though. Maintaining attraction over years and years is no joke. Most dead bedroom couples would love to have the passion back, but they just don’t know how.

Attraction will not be moralized, reasoned or idealized into existence. It’s a wild beast that cannot be controlled. 

[PenguinPablo]

The interesting thing is women are being encouraged outright if not subtly to do the same. 

Men date younger = creep

Older women dates younger guy = A win against the patriarchy (Okay maybe not that dramatic... but definitely it does not seem like women are held accountable to ANY degree for the same dynamic)

Edited 40 minutes ago by PenguinPablo