Feeling stuck spiritually, any insights?

[Michael Paul]

Brief background: I have a serious mental illness for which I’m currently taking medication. I’ve been delusional and have had hardcore hallucinations in the past which put me in several traumatic and life-threatening situations. Thankfully I’m very stable now and doing well overall. 

I’ve only had two psychedelic experiences in my life, both of which were extremely positive, eye-opening, and enlightening. When I found actualized.org and Leo’s teachings, everything really resonated with me at first based on what I experienced during those trips. My two psychedelic trips happened quite a long time ago though (over 13 years ago), and I feel very disappointed that I can’t partake in them anymore. I feel like a major pathway to spiritual growth has been closed off to me in life. I know myself well enough to know that they’re effectively off-limits for me, as I refuse to put myself in a dangerous position where I’m forced to go back to the hospital ever again. 

How can I compensate for the fact that I can’t use psychedelics as a tool for spiritual awakening? 

[Leo Gura]

You need some hardcore practice like Kriya yoga or week-long meditation retreats.

Edited 4 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Michael Paul]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You need some hardcore practice like Kirya yoga or week-long meditation retreats.

Where/who do you recommend I learn Kriya Yoga from? I’m vaguely familiar with it but I’ve never tried it.

Also, when it comes to meditation retreats, are they risky at all for someone with a history of mental illness? I’ve heard of some retreats screening people for a history of serious psychiatric disorders. I just want to go about it wisely. 

[cetus]

@Michael Paul Stay grounded by sitting silently in nature with the sun on your face. Take your shoes off and feel the earth beneath your feet. 

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, Michael Paul said:

Where/who do you recommend I learn Kriya Yoga from? I’m vaguely familiar with it but I’ve never tried it.

The books on my booklist.

3 minutes ago, Michael Paul said:

Also, when it comes to meditation retreats, are they risky at all for someone with a history of mental illness?

Yes, they are risky.

Any serious spiritual work and Awakening will be risky for someone with your condition.

There is no way to make God safe and non-threatening. Realizing God requires confronting death and insanity in some fashion.