Modern Dating Dynamics

[bazera]

4 hours ago, BlessedLion said:

Good question, I've have been considering this for a while, and i think becoming a father is a beautiful part of life for many. But i also have to be honest with myself and my personality type. I thrive in solitude, i love peaceful, predictable days where i can read, meditate, write, relax, nap, have sex or spontaneously travel. I don't want to introduce unnecesary stress and potential hardship into my life, I live completely on my terms and am free financially. 

 

If i had kids all that would likely go away. Money would become a source of stress and i would have to get some lame job probably, sex would go down with a wife and kids, i wouldn't have time to read and rest or contemplate. I see myself as a bit of a Tantric Yogi who will be a master one day like a Ralston or Wilber (hopefully), so i see myself taking on the archtype of wise sage, I also want to take my time with what interests me in life which is consciousness, discipline and habits, understanding of many aspects of reality, sexuality and dating dynamics, and kids don't really fit there. I just don't find it very profound and the day to day grind of it seems like hell for someone like me. 

 

Luckily my brothers will have kids so i can be cool crazy uncle who lives in Bali and Mexico hahah.

 

You? 

Exactly the same for me man, having family and kids will be such a survival pressure for me that I know I won't be able to do all the stuff you mentioned which I'm also passionate about. Maybe some people can, or even don't care about those things but I do to the point that I will be very miserable if I didn't have alone-time for extended periods of time. 

The best thing I did for myself is I started living alone at 22 and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I don't think that's because of some insecurity or that it's some coping mechanism or avoidance, I think it's just my personality, I've always been this way since childhood. So yeah, having family and kids would disrupt that.

I have friends that can't stomach being in solitude. I have a friend who I was talking to about the lifestyle in general the other day and he told me that he isn't alone 98% of the times, either his wife is with him, his coworkers, etc. And he is happy about it. For me personally, that would be like hell, thinking about that gives me the same feeling I get when I look at videos of cave explorers stuck in super tight caves  suffocating.

So yeah, maybe family and kids it's not for some of us. I already have a nephew so I'm also on the path of becoming a cool uncle, lol.

Edited 3 hours ago by bazera