my life purpose might be changing

[Olaf]

I have been doing magic for the past year and performing allot, I learned so much and made money, not in a huge way, but pretty okay. I am feeling like this might not be the path I want to take anymore. I do enjoy magic and I do enjoy performing, but I want to contribute more to the world. I don't know in what way yet and how, but I feel like I am here to contribute more to the world. I have taken a distance from the spiritual community due to the toxic stuff going on in the spiritual community (Bentinho Massaro and his sex cult) and questioning if this spiritual teachings are any good for people. Most spiritual people are broke and use it as a way to escape making money and bypass and the value is great, but no ones life changes per say. You still have to make money somehow even after enlightenment.

I am thinking of maybe doing magic parttime or even less, instead of fulltime, put some pressure of making money with it, get a job and figure out what big impact I can make on the world. I want to do something that actually changes lifes, not spiritual bypassing or temporary entertainment. I feel that music is much closer to transformation or art, it has more connection then magic probably. I have invested much time into this and by no means has it been a waste of time, I have learned so much every single day, but I don't know if this is what I actually want to do for the next 10 years or more. 

I am thinking of experimenting, trying different shit, I always had a drive for doing very creative stuff, creative projects. I love to just express myself in any creative way that is not pre planned. An example would be to just do streaming, it is very populair and it has been one of those things where you can just fuck around, you can do something different every stream and be very creative. I have done streaming in the past and it actually was fun as you connect to people live. Again it might not be so much an impact, but I do feel I need to have more freedom of expression which is lacking in magic. I am a very free person and therefor I need an outlet to express myself freely. This is also why I like Kanye West, because even tho he is insane, he doesn't care what anyone thinks of him, he just expresses whatever. He is also a gemini like me, so we are very similar in the way we operate, think and act.

Structure is probably necessary, but I am a very free spirit, I like to go do different things, do different stuff, explore, my grandfather was a captain on a ship, so I got that adventerous soul in me, that doens't want to stop or settle and just keeps exploring. Expressing and exploring are my deepest drives, combining that with bringing value and leaving a huge impact would be the dream combination. 

I might just have to go hard into experimentation, I am thinking of spending a month on just doing everything chaotically, make videos, make streams, make art, everything and just see what direction I feel alligned to go in. If magic really is what I am meant to do, then I will feel alligned to go back into it. I think that is the plan, but I would like to hear from you guys aswell.