Some thoughts

[Ulax]

Might drop some stuff in here from time to time

[Yimpa]

yay!!! 

[Ulax]

On 07/09/2026 at 8:46 PM, Yimpa said:

yay!!! 

[Ulax]

Working on my cybersecurity career atm. Following Cal Newport's So Good they can't ignore you advice regarding life purpose. My aim is to get mastery in cybersec. But I'm not sure how to have a big impact with it. But I am working on it everyday and improving everyday which is the main thing.

Dating wise I signed up to a virtual coaching course with Todd V. I have many doubts about my ability to get the results I want in game but I understand game much better than I did last time I took irl action.

The biggest thing that causes chronic negative emotion in me is family atm. Dunno how much I'll talk about that though. But let's see

[Ulax]

Did my first solo approach in my current town. I have had such a block against doing it in this town. i'm glad I did it and I got a positive response. Though her dude friend/ bf met her at the same time and I bounced. My goal is just to approach atm, so anything else is a bonus.

My goal was three but it is a step in the right direction.

It is also hard to approach sometimes with the weight of being the most attractive on the forum. But i understand this is a burden i must carry.

Let's see what the future holds.

[Ulax]

One of my aims is to go through Yale's America at 250 lecture course in full. Lectures, and syllabus readings. All noted.

I've gone through three Yale lectures courses so far. First I just watched, second I watched first 8 and then next 16 lectures took full notes on. Third I took full notes on. This one will build on that by actually following the syllabus exactly. So textbook readings and all sorts of assignments.

The courses were on modern world politics, France since 1871, and Introduction to Political Philosophy.

I also have the goal of finishing Proust's In Search of Lost tIme. It is 4000 pages. I am on the second book of 7 sub-books. Reading War & Peace in full gave me a lot of confidence in this space. But it is also a challenge to read.

My structure for the day atm is the following. I wake up and start a brief session. Where I literally open up the cybersec course im working on and then do whatever.

30 mins later i go get coffee and breakfast. Come back and then on the hour do my first cybersec. I do four sessions of cybersec, each an hour a part. then break an hour for lunch and a walk. Come back on the hour, and do two more cybersec sessions. Then i do two job application sessions. one for cybersec jobs and one for easy to get jobs. Apart from the easy to get jobs keep fucking rejecting me lmao. I'm talking warehouse jobs, barista jobs. 

But I focus on setting process goals rather than outcome goals, i.e. apply for 100 jobs instead of get a job. You set goals on processes because otherwise you go cray cray trying to chase a goal that you literally cannot control.

I am very consistent with my routine. I've done that same routine since December last year. set my life on a completely different trajectory. I have a lot of thoughts around wishing it happened sooner. It took me much time to get this system figured out. So many bad things happened as a result. But motivational videos on youtube help me on that too.

My two biggest sticking points atm are pickup and my relationship with my parents. Pickup I need to be consistent with but the stress has previously fucked me up big time, despite consistency. But my hope is that that happened in the context of me getting buttfucked daily by the goal I was chasing at the time. But i HAVE to get pickup handled. I'm trying to get a move to London sorted so I can go really deep on that. 

My relationship with my parents is like a horror film. We are doing family therapy atm. But damn man, its rough. Very rough.

Good is my individual therapist is someone I actually get on with. Though i definitely have my doubts. But I have grown very disillusioned by the quality of therapists I've encountered. every one of them has some major red flag of sorts. My therapist actually encourages me to do pickup too.