My relationship + contemplation situation . Anyone spot any traps ?

[felixk_priv]

So there are lots of points of question , that I have in this relationship . I am unclear on a lot . I am not sure if I would choose her as a partner . I am not sure if we fit so well . I think we wouldn't really be friends and there is more . I am unclear if these things are important and relevant , they of course sound so .  What also seems to be happening is that , when I contemplate these things since they are important to the existence of the relationship itself , I lose feelings I have for her , rather than if I left these things alone I am sure we would just be a normal relationship . But we haven't been normal  , because now to both of us it seems like I am constantly getting clear on whether to end the relationship , which in a way it sort of is like that . But emotionally she is not a okay with that , and also this questioning I feel will be ongoing as questions in life come . So 1. I think I fucked up the framing to her as in framing it as breaking up rather than learning and discovering new things potentially perhaps . And 2. This questioning seems to take me emotionally out of the relationship when I am unclear on these things and questioning the serious truth of them . 

 

So a-n-y points , help , experience , traps , or thoughts pointed and given are greatly appreciated . Thank you actualized gang

[Judy2]

communication would simplify things a lot here, cause it would interrupt this ceaseless process of spinning stories in your head about what if, and what would this other person possibly/probably/likely think, and do i have to lie to preserve a sense of harmony, etc.

just state what is true for you and then listen to what she says in response.

for example

"i don't want to hurt you"

"i feel confusion"

"i don't know what this is or if we are compatible"

"when i think about this/us, i feel...."

[LordFall]

Seems like in general you're in scarcity. Practice some game and build some social capital so many attractive and cool women want to date you and I think this problem will solve itself.